Sunday, October 2, 2011

Whats Causin All This?


Whats Causin All This?

One BITCHIN head of hair and nine inches of unadulterated…

Brutha, brutha, who are you trying to work? Shoot straight with us, bromigo.

Alright, fine, one hyphenated word surmises my impetus: SELF-INDULGENCE!!! I do be’lee it is STORYTIME~!

Back in early 2007, when I was still a senior at Ahhhhlington High School (YANKEES SUCK!), we read a book that a profound impact on the development of my life principles: Brave New World. Now Mr. Huxley generated a “utopia” where there was no pain, no sacrifice, no suffering, but in addition not a whole lotta thinking and a world bereft of free will. While reading about this land of instant gratification, it challenged me as an individual to really assess why I preferred this reality as opposed to that artificial construct that clearly would have left me wanting more. I think the people reading this know I just don’t do very well with social conventions, that I just don’t really like fitting in that cookie-cutter mold, and that no amount of central planning could ever accommodate my idiosyncrasies.  Then by extension from this desire to choose my path through my own diligence and hard work, I discovered what I believe is the purpose of life: SELF-IMPROVEMENT. (So to everybody who thought they were going to get a sleazy rant about last Friday night shredding of some random strangers, guess again. Just remember to quote a great man, “Just when you think you know all the answers, I change questions.”)

So it is my firm belief that self-improvement in all its guises will lead to positive contributions to society. Now in college I developed a second tenet of my philosophy and that is self-improvement while leading to long-run satisfaction, self-indulgence is critical of short-run happiness and rejuvenating my mind, body and soul to tackle the task of self-improvement. This blog, Space Mountain, aim exactly to satiate my need for self-indulgence. (YANKEES SUCK!) Blogging is the most extreme and obnoxious form of self-indulgence. Hopefully this will aid me in better comprehending myself by constant re-evaluation. When self-indulgence is coupled with self-improvement there is no greater force in this world except maybe The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.   

Self-indulgence means that there will be times that you just wont give a flying fuck what I am writing about. I have decided that I don’t really give a flying fuck about this because to be quite clear I love hearing the sound of my melodic, dulcet voice (So Arlington friends, “dulcet”, is one of the words I have known for awhile that I don’t how to pronounce, lulz) and I cherish all my thoughts. So there is no doubt in my mind that I will be the biggest fan of my own blog and frankly that is just okay by me.  Does this enhance my indy credibility? Is this how Rush feels when they release their 30th album (I think they only have 100 songs though) and no one cares?         

WARNING: I LOATHE commas. This is a HIGH-ENERGY blog, not a fuckin Kid Cudi album. So there will be NO breaks or pauses.  (Ok, so I do employ commas, but I have been told I don’t use enough, so yeah, well here ya go, I am using a lot now, to make up for it down the line, what do you mean just because I use commas now that doesn’t make-up for when I miss one, go fuck yourself) My grammar can be shaky. Sometimes, I get so excited I forget words. I will try to proofread.   

So in order to get me into the swing of things and work out the kinks (there will be a learning curve) I am CELEBRATING ROCKTOBERFEST~! What better way to celebrate ROCKTOBERFEST~! Than to countdown my 31 favorite glam metal albums. After all there is no genre that better represents the EXCESSES and SLEAZE of Hard Rock and Heavy Metal than Glam Metal. However, the Tigers game (Yankees Suck!) is going to start in half an hour so I am going to post #31 and #30 tonight, patience only makes it grow HARDER and the climax all that more satisfying. (YANKEES SUCK!) 

Brutha, that was a good deal of bullshit you just spewed, but come on…

FINE, the real reason for this blog is clearly to get KE$HA’s attention. Duh.

Lastly, I always give credit where credit is due. I did not come up with "Riding Space Mountain" as a euphemism for love-making. No, the title is ripped-off from the greatest inspiration for all my gimmicks, catchphrases, bells and whistles: “Nature Boy” Ric Flair. (“Macho Man” Randy Savage is my favorite wrestler of all time, but Flair has inspired more of my persona than anyone else).


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