#25 Motley Crue- Theatre of Pain: Street-Walking Gypsies

ROCKTOBERFEST: A Most Excellent Countdown of the 31 Most Bitchin Glam Metal Albums

#25 Motley Crue– Theatre of Pain (Released 1985) 4x Platinum #6 Billboard Albums Chart

Vince Neil (I said I’m Sorry) – Vocals

Mick Mars (How the fuck did I let Nikki talk me into wearing that) – Lead & Rhythm Guitar

Nikki Sixx (Dude, it is a like a Theatre of Pain, ya know) - Bass

Tommy Lee (I bone Heather Locklear) – Drums

Street-Walking Gypsies: Welcome to their Theatre of Pain

All four people that who will eventually read this blog knew that Motley Crue was going to show up on this countdown sooner rather than later (they had FIVE albums in the 80’s alone). Their first appearance is for their over-looked, under-appreciated glam classic, Theatre of Pain. This album finds the Crue boys re-inventing themselves (as they have a penchant to do on each album) as philosophical glam rocking gypsies.  Philosophical?!?!? Ok as philosophical as a glam band can get. Motley Crue always had a unique sense of self when it came to rebellion and cutting-edge trends. Nikki Sixx led the band to the forefront of American heavy metal with the bitchin album, Shout At The Devil. On Heavy Metal Sunday at the US Festival, a veritable murder’s row of metal killed New Wave dead as Van Halen, Scorpions, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, Quiet Riot and a young, hungry Motley Crue band gathered to melt hundreds of thousands people’s faces. Yes, if you could take a time machine back to 1983-84, it was Motley Crue, not Metallica that was the face of American Heavy Metal (and I am not talking VH1 metal, this is true, blue metal. If you disagree with me, then basically you are calling Ozzy and Priest not metal. Crue was just as metal as those artists in this time period.) Then depending on your vantage point, Nikki and troop threw it all away for mainstream fame and success with the album, Theatre of Pain. My own theory is that Nikki knew he could not top that aggressive, almost violent magnus opus and thus he needed to shift to the other extreme leading to Theatre of Pain being born. Nikki has stated in a couple of interviews that he believes in always re-inventing the image and sound of the band with every album. He did a Satanic, post-Apocalypse album and now he wanted to rebel differently as the Metallica's and SLAYERRRRR's started to pop up. He dropped the leather and added the lace. Thrash was an aggressive, realistic take on metal. Then he was going to create carnival, fantastical atmosphere on his albums. They replaced the heavy songs about Satan with a power ballad about life on the road and songs about the uplifting street-wise rebellion with songs about being tethered to the city.  

Theatre of Pain is Motley Crue’s most challenging release to the point, where the members of the band have mostly dis-owned the album (save for the smash hit, Home Sweet Home) stating that it does not fit with the Crue mold of partying, sex, drugs and rock n roll. For the most part they are right, this album is not a party album, which is pretty weird for a glam metal album. I disagree that quite strongly that this album is the weakest of their 80’s golden years albums (that distinction belongs to the repetitive Girls, Girls, Girls album). The distorted, fuzzy guitar tone of Mars on this album adds a great wrinkle to the 1970’s glam rock (Nikki Sixx’s favorite genre) that is prevalent throughout the album. In fact, the heavy, grinding tone of Mars is the one of the remaining vestiges of Crue’s metal past. While this has been deemed the “glam rock” album, Mick Mars does his best to remind you that is a heavy metal band.  In addition, this was the last time, I feel Vince Neil sang like a heavy metal lead singer rather than a mainstream, overly-produced hard rock lead singer. Neil was still allowed to perform unintelligible screams, which are a hallmark of glam metal and still sang with a high-pitched sneer rather than the fuller voice he “developed” on later albums. My main issue with the album is that the rhythm section especially Tommy’s drums are mixed way too low and sound either muddled or hidden underneath the Neil/Mars tandem.   

However, the circumstances around the album seemed to have distracted Crue from the objective of perfecting this album. The drug problems in the band were reaching a fever pitch. Vince killed the drummer of the “biggest band that never was” Hanoi Rocks in a drunk driving accident and Theatre of Pain is dedicated to Razzle. This led to a very short album (35 minutes) that included a cover among the ten songs not exactly indicative of the peak of creative power. I do hope to unearth some Motley Crue gems that have been lost to the fact that this album is so criminally over-looked.

Theatre of Pain, immediately tells the listener that this is NOT the sequel to Shout At The Devil, but this album for better or worse is very much its own album. City Boy Blues is definitely one of my favorite songs off the album that displays perfectly that dirty, dirty, dirty guitar tone Mars employs on the whole album. The riff is a plodding, pulsating attack of distortion while Vince screams over it about street-life and drugs. Tommy’s drums are actually pretty audible in this one as his constant crashing of the cymbals and drum rolls are on point. Nikki’s lyrics are illustrative that he is the best lyrical force in glam metal even if he was high on five different drugs as the bridge to the solo is a well-crafted set of lyrics setting out to challenge the mainstream belief system of Americans. The solo is one of my favorite of the album and is a relatively short (standard for Mick Mars’ standards) burst of melodic energy.

Next on the album was the lead single and cover of Brownsville Station’s hit, Smokin In The Boys Room. I definitely disagree with using a cover as a lead single as that seems downright lazy to me. However, as I looked over the rest of the album only, Tonight (We Need A Lover), could have been a lead single. I guess you can argue that their hands were tied. I love the music video for this one as this cover made so much sense for Motley Crue and their rebellious, teenage attitude. The imagery of the band was the most extreme at its time until Poison took it to the next level in 1986.  Once again, proving how Motley Crue were the trend-setters of glam metal. A funny personal anecdote, my brother and I always thought the lyrics were “Because everybody knows that smoking in the lounge is cool” because Vince’s phrasing sucks the meat missile. Then my dad who knows the original version told us it is “Because everybody know school aint allowed in school” which makes way more sense.

Next up is one of my personal favorites and a hold-over from the Shout-era, Louder Than Hell. This track is by far the most metal of all the songs on this album. The riffs vacillate between a grinding attack and long, drawn wail. Over the top of this, Vince delivers one of his best vocal performances EVAH~! screaming about sexual domination and things of that ilk. However, I would like the rumbling rhythm section more if I did not have to strain myself to hear it. Check out the difference between this and Hotter Than Hell, which is the original version. On the latter, Tommy’s drums really pound, but I prefer Vince’s vocals on Theatre of Pain, so it is a tough call.     

Some fun, fluffy filler is on tap next, Keep Your Eye On The Money, which I do not know completely why it was included on the album.

Now for the main event of the album and the reason this bad boy went quadruple platinum, the massive hit single, Home Sweet Home. The song that sent Motley Crue from top-flight heavy metal band to mainstream rock stars across America. Sometimes it is hard to reconcile that the same band performs Shout At the Devil and Home Sweet Home, but that is one of the reasons to love Crue. There is no Crue formula and there is no such thing as quintessential Crue as everything sounds so different.  This is THE power ballad to pretty much end all power ballads. Crue would never top this power ballad and this power ballad that started them all. Once again, Motley Crue are the trend-setters in glam metal. The piano intro, Vince’s crooning, the heavy attack of Mars’ guitar and the HUGE chorus make this a must-hear off the album. Mars’ guitar during the chorus is what sets this apart from so many other power ballads because it is such a heavy, distorted that swoops in like a locomotive. Then the solo, HOLY SHIT, what a solo as it just blares with great continuity between each of his guitar acrobatics. On the music video front, WHAT THE FUCK happened to Vince's hair. His hair was totally butchered into a mullet and is probably one of the reasons why the uninformed associate mullets with glam metal. Ugh, his hair has looked so much better.  I love the beginning of the video, when each member is found in their respective environments. It really hallmarks how much of a MOTLEY crew, Motley Crue actually was. It was this diversity of talents and backgrounds that led them to be the glam juggernauts that they were and are. Without further aideu, the number one MTV video of 1985:

Following that monster is the song that should have been the lead single, Tonight (We Need A Lover), which is also a very metallic song for the album with a pounding rhythm section from Tommy and an elongated wailing riff during verses that transforms into a pulsating, head-banging attack on the chorus. My favorite part of the song is when the band sings “Tonight” in harmony higher and higher pitch. Only for Vince to swoop in with a low-pitch snarl of “Oooooo Tonight”.

The token speed metal track comes up next as the riff from Livewire is transformed into the new Motley Crue song. I like the vocal delivery and melodies more than anything else. The hook on this song for me is when Vince sings “JFK Marilyn Monroe//Street-Walking Gypsy//Margaret Throdeau”. All in  all not essential Crue, but a fun song to come back to when you have played the hits to death.

I don’t think anybody on this planet agrees with me, but I believe Save Our Souls is the masterpiece of Nikki Sixx and Motley Crue’s career (Danger and Shout AT The Devil make it a tight race) and it is unfortunate that only Crue die-hards have ever heard it. The song is characterized by a HEAVY, GRINDING DIRGE of a riff that is punctuated by the DELIBERATE drum pounding of Tommy Lee. Vince screams and wails about the sleazy underbelly of the streets, which climaxes with the melancholy gang-shout of “Save Our Souls//For the Heavens//Save Our Souls//For the Promised Land”. This song is probably the closest thing to have ever heard to glam-doom metal and it sounds so fuckin cool.

That is one tough act to follow and Raise Your Hands to Rock sees Crue experimenting once again, but this type failing to reach my high expectations. The song begins with an acoustic guitar and then the muddled rhythm section kicks in. It is like a cross between I Wanna Rock and a feel-good, summer heart-land rock song. I think they were going for a big anthem and they fell short of it as there just were not enough hooks.

The final song used to be my least favorite song on the album, Fight For Your Right, until incidentally I was writing this blog. Don’t get me wrong, I still think the lyrics are way too self-serious and sound like an absolute joke when being sung by Vince Neil of all people. However, the only reason I used to listen to this song is that one of the lyrics include “Martin Luther” (It is clearly intended to be Martin Luther King, but the boys in Crue are not Rhodes Scholars) and so I used to like to hear Vince sing my name. I still hate the bridge, which does nothing for me and the chorus is pretty lame. However, I have newfound appreciation for the riff, which I am actually digging a whole lot now. God, I LOVE Mick Mars.

Is this the best Motley Crue album? Of course not. It needs to be made known that Motley Crue on their off-day is still better than 90% of glam metal bands out there. Is this an album that I want to listen to when I went to rejuvenate myself or “party”? No, not at all. This album is very different than a conventional glam metal album and when I find myself tired of the usual big hooks and high-powered riffs I find this album really takes glam metal into an interesting territory of grinding riffs and rumbling rhythm sections. I hope that maybe, just maybe, I proved my point that Theatre of Pain is a lost gem in the catalog of glam metal.