Riding Space Mountain: March 2018

Sunday, March 25, 2018

You Think You Know Me: RAW in 2006

Hey yo Stud Muffins & Foxy Ladies,

My reviews of what happened on the RAW Brand in 2006

Main RAW Roster of 2006: John Cena, HHH, HBK, Edge, RVD, Mick Foley, Ric Flair, Jeff Hardy, Umaga, Johnny Nitro.

RAW was pretty rough in 2006. So I present the real MVPs of RAW in 2006:

WWE Women's Champion Trish Stratus vs Mickie James - WrestleMania XXII

I had a massive crush on Mickie when she first started in late 2005 into 2006. Loved this storyline with the obsession leading to Mickie snapping and some really good brawls between the two. It felt like the first real blood feud in the women's division and the only real blood feud going on at the time between any two wrestlers. I had never seen this match, but always wanted to.

Mickie was awesome in this match. I have not seen a Trish match since she retired. She is exactly as I remember her sometime who tries really hard. I think it was great she spent most of the match selling because she was A+ at selling the leg. Her offense is ok, but Mickie made it looked like great at the beginning. Trish wanted to start off red hot pissed by the hell Mickie had put her through. Mickie was bumping, screaming and selling her ass off for Trish. Trish went for the Chick Kick on the outside and met steel. The leg work by Mickie was outstanding as was Trish's selling. Hope spots and cutoffs were great. Like Ligerbomb counter to Mickie's usual rana outta the corner or Mickie turning a rana attempt into a sick snapping of the leg over the ring rope. Mickie's demeanor and crazed facial expressions were so spot on.

So now we can get to what the match is famous for. Mickie grabs Trish by the pussy. Stunning Trish. Trish LEVELS Mickie, but kinda oddly eats a knee and then its the Mick Kick for the win. It felt flat. I think Mickie pussy grab followed by a swift kick to the head was the way to go. They wanted Trish to get some revenge for the pussy grab, but then did not have transition to get back to Mickie winning that caused the actual finish to be flat. The pussy grab ->Trish decks her was super hot, but the switch back to Mickie was too abrupt.

Still this has to be the best women's match between what 1996-2013 in WWE history. Is there anything close? Great heat segment. Awesome, awesome performance by Mickie character work, selling, bumping and offense. Trish was great at selling. Finish makes this fall short of being great, but definitely recommend this. ***3/4

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Mick Foley vs Edge - WrestleMania XXII Hardcore Match

This is a quintessential Mick Foley match where his pain is supposed to be our pleasure. It is the greatest hits of his career, the knees into the steel steps, slamming the back of his head on a metal surface. His offense was tight. He escalated the match well. Edge added nothing to this. In fact he actively detracted at times with his abysmal selling. I have no idea what the hell he was doing at the finish. He looked like he was suffering from hypothermia. I thought Lita was awesome in this. In fact, I thought the Lita/Foley interactions were the most compelling. Anytime, Foley looked like he was really going to decimate Edge, Lit was there with the save like the barbed wire baseball bat (taking that sick Cactus clothesline) or the barbed wire Mr. Socko (her lips were all ripped up). Foley's right hand when Edge was pouring Lighter fluid on him was great and Lawler marking out for the piledriver was fun. Thumbtacks are thumbtacks when there is no drama. In fact, with all the over the top violence, there was very little drama. It was just move from spot to spot. Escalation was there, but the fear and stakes were not.

After all the punishment Lita took, she finally got here revenge hitting Foley in the balls with a barbed wire baseball bat and then setting the table on fire before Edge speared Foley from the apron through the flaming table. They should have milked the spot more. But hey they should milked more of the spots. Lita was awesome in this. Good Foley nostalgia. Edge sucked but that's to be expected. Tight, did not over stay its welcomed. Felt rushed though. ***1/4

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ECW Champion Big Show vs Ric Flair - WWECW 7/11/06

I watched this live in 2006 and have fond memories of this bloody brawl. I remember when ECW first started they definitely tried loading up the main events and this was the best of that early bunch. Within a month or two, I stopped watching the show became a total afterthought.

I liked the repackaging of Big Show as the Extreme, violent Giant I don't remember what the end game was but I feel like it was a good idea that could have been better executed. Garbage match Flair was pretty fun around this time. I went to Summerslam in 2006 in Boston and Flair/Foley was fun live but something I will revisit. I thought this was a good solid match which utilized the strengths of both men effectively. Big Show used his size and strength to control the early portion. Loved Big Show's chops in response to Flair. Headbutts bust Flair open early. Plenty of slams and suplexes on Flair. Flair great at selling defiance and bumping. Flair just tried to keep chopping and chopping. Finally when things looked really bleak he just whacked Big Show in the balls four times very blatantly. The Flair brought in the barbed wire baseball bat and thumb tacks and chair. It was just fun garbage stuff but it was well set up because Flair at least tried to go toe to toe with The Giant, but he was clearly overwhelmed and bloody so this his last resort. He knocks Big Show flat on his back into tacks and this pisses off the Giant. Who steamrolls Flair! I loved Show's finish at the time which the Cobra Clutch backbreaker and then Cobra Clutch to win. He then ragdolls Flair into the thumbtacks for good measure.

They did a really great job working around Flair's limitations and thought Big Show looked like a sadistic monster and Flair's comeback was plausible and entertaining because it relied on ballshots and weapons. The finish was great, simple and effective. Very fun garbage TV brawl. ***

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WWE Intercontinental Champion Johnny Nitro vs Jeff Hardy - Unforgiven 2006

I get it, he does look like Jim Morrison, but John Morrison was such a lame name. The crowd loves chanting "Nitro sucks" they really should have stuck with that. I remember Nitro/Morrison as a person with a great look but just never materialized in the ring. Soft Kofi Kingston offense is what I remember along with no standout charisma. This match I thought the offense was a bit better than I remember but yeah no charisma to speak of. The entrance is brash, but where is that cocky attitude in the ring. He is just so mechanical. Jeff Hardy is so insanely charismatic. He had the crowd rocking just doing armdrags from different angles. I will say there was on nice spot where Nitro goes for an armdrag but Hardy hooks the ropes and Nitro still goes through with the rotation. Well done. Some really great impactful dropkicks by Jeff here. Crowd pops for them. Back when crowds popped for stiffness instead of acrobatics, how nice! Jeff takes a totally nutty bump off the top when Nitro trips him up. Nitro works over the leg. I think he does an admirable job. At one point, he steps on Jeff's foot, and kicks the knee hard with his other leg. Well done. He was not Arn Anderson picking apart a body part, but it was solid. Again where is that charisma! Morrision misses a corkscrew moonsault. As much as I love Jeff, he does blow off the knee selling and hits whisper in the wind. Then hits the Swanton Bomb then decides to sell. Not digging that. Also there were way too many shots of Melina. She is hot. I get it, I really do, she is very hot, but I am trying to watch a match. Melina gets knocked off the apron. She hits Jeff with the boot, Nitro covers and wins. Solid finish to a solid match. Too long at 17 minutes & change. ***

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WWE Champion John Cena vs Edge - WWE Unforgiven TLC Match

You know a match is damn good when ten years later you are pumping your fist at the finish. John Cena Rocks! Cena was awesome in this match. Definitely a harbinger of his bitchin 2007 campaign. I was at Summerslam live in 2006 was pretty disappointed by the main event and partly because at the time I was not a Cena fan (shaking my head, 17 year old me had so much to learn) and it was not a very good match. I watched this after the fact on DVD comp and I loved it. It has been a good 6-7 years since I have seen it and thought this was excellent. The best match of John Cena's career up until this point (yes, I think this is better than JBL I Quit match, which is number two).

The story of the match is John Cena's heart vs Edge's experience in this match. You see throughout the match Cena become more and more comfortable with the environment. He starts off with what he knows running Edge over with shoulder tackles. Edge responds with what he knows: weapons. Edge is a pretty ineffective wrestler without gimmicks. The match at the beginning is really good thanks to Cena's selling. He makes these sometimes contrived spots look painful and important by selling. The table bump he powders because he wants to create space. This allows for Edge's best spot of the match which is him running up a ladder and diving to the floor on Cena.

This match is really good at transitions and bringing the energy up in each segment. Edge is driving towards the Conchairto but Cena trips him up and drives his head into a chair. Now we see Cena adapt to the environment. STFU using a ladder, the most painful looking STFU in history! Edge taps. Great symbolic spot. Then the FU of the ladder onto Edge and then Fist drop from the top of a ladder. Great use of the gimmicks! The match is not perfect there are some contrived moments like why is Cena going for a table he should be looking to win. It is to set up a later spot which is not my favorite, but it is a minor complaint. Again, Edge's transition is to crack a chair across Cena's skull. Edge takes way too long to set up a double table. Cena sends him flying. Then as Cena is climbing Edge hits the lamest spear in history, but Goddamnit Cena sells it like he has cracked ribs and internal bleeding. God Bless John Cena!

I thought the finish run was incredible and very dramatic. Lita comes out and tips the ladder over as Cena is climbing sending him hard through a table on the floor.

Tangent: Lita got one of the best boob jobs in history. If I did not know what she looked like before, I would be convinced those were natural. ***** to the Cosmetic surgeon and Lita in this period was a definitely a young Sleeze favorite.

On a more serious note, I feel like Lita adds a lot to these matches. She is just a much better performer than Edge. Really liked the spot where Lita cracked Cena in the back with a chair and that caused Cena to collapse into the ladder sending Edge through the tables on the floor. Cena FUs "the Evil Bitch" (JR's words not mine). Im not for man on woman violence typically but Lita feels like a wrestler and it felt like a great fist pumping moment. The FU off the ladder through two tables on Edge was awesome!!!! I was marking out big time for the Cena win in Toronto. It felt like a great SUCK IT moment to all those smart marks.

Awesome car crash match that really built on itself and told a really great story. Cena was awesome throughout the match making each spot meaningful and adapting to the environment. I thought Lita added a lot to the match down the stretch in her interference, exhorting Edge and taking the FU bump. Thought all three table spots were awesome and well-done. It felt like a big time, Rah Rah John Cena victory. Loved it! ****1/2

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WWE Intercontinental Champion Johnny Nitro vs Jeff Hardy - RAW 10/2/06

There is a hilarious screw up early on. JR says "In the latest edition of WWE magazine, Maria says she likes having three way sex. Sorry I mean Melina." The deadpan tone of voice he uses because he clearly thinks this is stupid compounded with him fucking up the names had me laughing for like two minutes straight.

Going to give Nitro credit again, way to go to back after Jeff Hardy crashes and burns on Whisper in the Wind. This is body psychology is strong. The dropkick to Jeff causing him to the hit the post hard is nasty. Plus he hits a crazy backbreaker. Great use of the surfboard too. The finish was fine too with Jeff reversing the surfboard and then hitting Whisper in the Wind. Nitro tries to hide behind Melina but Jeff topples both of them. I didn't like Nitro getting back on top after Jeff hit a move, but whatever. Jeff backdrops him off the top, cool spot and then Swanton Bomb. New champ. Fine match. I liked this one better because it was shorter, but still nothing amazing. ***

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WWE Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy vs Carlito - Cyber Sunday 2006

Nothing reminds me of how dreadfully dull the RAW midcard was in the mid-2000s than this match. I remember nothing about Carlito's working style, but this match certainly did not inspire me to learn more. He basically tried to snuggle to death. In addition to a very boring heat segment, the shine was terrible. They were just trading moves with absolutely no rhyme or reason. One would hit a move then the other would hit a move. No transition, no missed moves. It was just strange. Jeff Hardy hits a nasty front suplex. Swanton Bomb eats knees. Carlito hits a bunch of weak springboard moves. Carlito misses the third springboard. Whisper in the Wind! Carlito nearly kills him on some stupid top rope move. Swanton Bomb. JR says "what a match" I say "what a mess"

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WWE Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy vs Johnny Nitro - RAW 11/6/06

Do you remember Paris Hilton? Do you remember Kevin Federline? Man, mid-00s nostalgia in ten years is going to be so sad. My high school years were a cultural wasteland.

Nitro starts with a hammerlock, Hardy does the Bret escape, good start here with Jeff doing the dropkick and then splash. Nitro uses a leverage move to send him into the buckle and then choking into the ropes. Melina hair pull. Some good heel work here. Hardy hits a sling blade. Did Tanahashi do it first or Hardy? Melina trips and the ref calls for a DQ. Eric Bischoff is BACK!??! What the HELL?!?! He makes it a No DQ. I know I was watching. I have no recollection of this. Back from the commercial, Nitro is in a chinlock. Jawbreaker by Jeff. Tsunami Kick by Nitro. They both collide with a cross body. This match has just been there so far. Reverse mule kick by Hardy gets two. Front suplex gets two. WHISPER IN THE WIND! Two! Melina is choking Jeff Hardy and he whips her down. He goes for Swanton Bomb on Melin and Nitro crotches him and then belt shot. Nitro wins. Meh. I feel like Jeff Hardy could be better utilized but at the same time if Jeff Hardy was truly great he would find ways to keep having great match. This was not as bad as the Carlito match, but for something that was really more of an angle, it didn't feel big. It should have though.

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WWE Intercontinental Champion Johnny Nitro vs Jeff Hardy - RAW 11/13/06

By 2006 (probably earlier), the WWE booking is doing nobody any favors with this constant booking of this match. These two don't have Flair/Steamboat chemistry nor do they have the ability to build their matches off each other. I think Todd Grisham is on commentary and he is atrocious. I am glad he did not stick around. Johnny Nitro uses the hair to take Jeff Hardy down. You know what it is there is not a whole of fun in these matches. Nitro misses a splash and then Hardy hits a dropkick (new spot). Jeff is spot to use the ten count punches and then that dropkick. Way to go for Swanton early. Jeff Hardy's baseball slide is really good. Like the Nitro kneelift to stop jawbreaker and Tidal Wave Kick by Nitro gets a two. Nitro is choking, good heel stuff. Nitro with reverse chinlock. I hate the elbows to end a chinlock. "Sometimes when you please a woman like that, she makes those noises." -Todd Grisham. Horrible. Nitro gets crotched. Hardy misses Whisper in the Wind. Awful modified slam by Nitro. Nitro mocks Matt Hardy with the Hardy Yodel, Jeff hits him with a powerbomb. Swanton Bomb! Ref is distracted. Nitro hits a corkscrew moonsault, but has a shitty pin cover and Hardy rolls him into an Oklahoma Roll to win. I wish someone would do this to Dolph Ziggler who also has shitty covers. Yeah, I am starting to get sick of mid-00s WWE. Nitro hits Hardy with a ladder to setup the ladder match next week on RAW. Jury is out if I will watch it, right now.

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I Love To Fight: Smackdown in 2006

Hey Yo Stud Muffins & Foxy Ladies,

Here are the reviews of the matches that happened on the Blue Brand.

Smackdown's Main Roster for 2006: The Undertaker, Rey Mysterio, Kurt Angle, Batista, Mark Henry, King Booker, JBL, Chris Benoit, Finlay, William Regal, Mr. Kennedy, Paul London, and Brian Kendrick.

I have to say Finlay is the MVP of the Blue Brand in 2006, helluva comeback from the Irishman.

World Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle vs Mark Henry - Royal Rumble 2006

After missing most of 2004 & 2005, Mark Henry was pushed as a main event talent on Smackdown. He was not yet Hall of Pain, Mark Henry, but there were glimmers of it in this performance. His facial expressions at the beginning of the match were spot on. From Angle trying to takedown Mark, what are you doing little man. To cat & mouse, his frustration. Angle punches and the way he catches the fist and breaks him down and lays the badmouth on him. Hall of Pain Mark Henry is inside there. He throws Angle up onto the ropes twice. Splash gets two. This match is built around Mark Henry being able to break out of the Anklelock. Yes seriously! The announcers are acting like they have never seen this before. Are you fucking kidding me? I liked Angle getting the German because it is the underdog babyface getting the slam. But then to do Angleslam just cheapens it. It does not feel like he is respecting Henry's size. Angle then just blatantly cheats. Wicked chair shots that Henry sells like a champ. Then exposes the buckle and holds the rope. Henry fought an almost completely fair fight. This was basically Angle resigning himself to the fact that Henry was the better wrestler and he couldn't beat him without cheating. It was really strange. Mark Henry gave a good performance. The ending sucked out loud.

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Randy Orton vs Rey Mysterio - WWE No Way Out 2006

"C'mon Randy, he's a midget." - Fan in front row

There's nothing novel about this match, but I thought it was an excellent execution based on traditional wrestling fundamentals. I thought Orton gave an excellent performance of a despicable slimeball heel. Definitely one of his best performances of 2003-2007, wrestling was moving away from traditional heels, but Orton really did a great job in this one. He was so cocky in looming Rey over with his size and manhandling him. Those shit-eating grins were perfect. You really wanted to see him eat a boot to the face. That's exactly what you got out of the short Rey shine. Rey ended up crashing and burning on a reverse crossbody. Orton was just great at first with his clobbering assault. Rey got a nice hope spot in with a swift kick to the head. I thought Orton was great at bumping and selling in this match giving enough for Mysterio on offense throughout to make the comeback credible. Who is this Orton and why couldn't we get more of him? Off that hope spot, Orton powders and this leads him to catch Mysterio and smash him into the post. Rey did a great job selling the shoulder and Orton was tenacious and violent working it over. I cant believe Im writing this but this was a superb Orton heat segment and it was not just because of Mysterio's selling and hope spots. Orton was great on offense and great bumping for the hope spots! Honestly, thought the Rey comeback starting with a sunset flip from the top rope was a little tepid and there was a miscommunication on at least one spot. Mysterio did seem to draw some blood hardway. I don't think it built to too much of a fever pitch. Orton's dropkick of Mysterio's coming off the top was fucking awesome! That actually could have been a badass highspot early but this late into the match I thought it was too easily blown off and lost some of its consequence. Mysterio avoids the RKO and Orton avoids the 619. Orton schoolboys Mysterio and wins his spot at WrestleMania. What a fucking punk move!

First 2/3s was awesome perfect Orton heel performance and Rey Rey was consummate babyface. Just didn't feel they kicked into overdrive in the finih. Thought the finish suited Orton's character perfectly. I would say a top 5 Orton match of all time. ****

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World Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle vs Undertaker - WWE No Way Out 2006

If you are like me and couldn't remember how Angle ended up back on Smackdown, well it is simple when Batista got injured, he simply entered a Battle Royale and won the World's Heavyweight Championship. Undertaker and Angle are a really good pairing as they had a really good TV match back in 2003. Taker clearly is an MMA mark and loves rolling with guys like Angle and Brock. I think the style benefits Angle a lot. This is one of the last high touted matches of the era that I have yet to watch at least once. I thought Undertaker was awesome in this and looked to really be in high gear. I feel like 2004 and 2005 were down years for the Deadman but coming back to challenge for Angle's title here until the present day he more often than not looks good in his matches.

Loved his urgency right out of the gate. He was the aggressor at the beginning. Taking the fight to the champion and looking to win the championship. Angle powdered early but Taker did not lose focus. Loved Taker's posture and body language in this. Everything was about moving forward. Grabbed a headlock and did a great job converting from that base hold into working on the arm. Thought the arm work was great, focused and intense. Angle sold well, tried to break, but kept being overwhelmed so good struggle. Couple good Angle hope spots based around Undertaker missing charges. In both cases, they were fleeting with Undertaker not being denied and making quick comebacks against Angle. It really looked like Undertaker was going to run away with this early. He was hitting his spots and turning back everything Angle threw at him. So when he went for the chokeslam that's when the complexion of the match changed. Desperate, Angle kicked at Undertaker's knee, creating enough separation to clip the knee from behind. At the beginning, I thought the knee work was great. Using the post, loved the Bret Hart figure-4 around the post and Undertaker's selling was great. Undertaker looked like he was going to turn the tide again with a legdrop on apron, but caught into the Anglelock was great. Undertaker was able to take an Angle leg lace and counter into a Triangle choke, which was a good hope spot. Taker tried turning this into a brawl, which makes sense and leveraging his striking ability. Angle got a pop-up Angleslam through an announce table. Up until this point, I thought they were wrestling an absolute classic. The transitions were crisp, great urgency on Undertaker's part, lots of struggle and they were telling the story of Undertaker's strong desire to prove he is the better wrestler and how much he wanted to win this match whereas Angle had become desperate.

They lost it after the Angleslam and it became too much of a post-modern Angle match. The first misfire was Undertaker going to the top rope after the Angleslam through the table clearly just to set up Angle's run up the ropes Belly to Belly spot, which is lame. Then Taker hits a big boot anyway. Then comes the 8 million Anglelocks counters and reversals. I wouldn't mind it so much if he did not have the hold on for soooooooooo long before the counter. If it was constantly quick, like people could kinda feel it coming and before he can get set they countered that's one thing, it is this stupid is he going to tap or not and then roll through bullshit that's so lame. Way too easy getting in and out of the Anglelock and triangle. I am really bumming at this point because the first 2/3s was so damn good. Really dug the tombstone reversal spots into the Anglelock though that was neat-o, I will admit. The tenacity of wanting to put on the Anglelock is awesome. It is the sitting in the hold that sucks and kills the move. Loved the finish Angle gets a jackknife pin on a Triangle (again really didn't need the false drama of the arm raise).

The first 2/3rds was awesome. Undertaker killed it and was such an aggressive challenger. I thought Angle kept Undertaker honest made him earn it and worked leg well. They just fell into the trap of way too many Anglelocks and sitting in them. Good finish though keeps everyone strong. Interesting match that Undertaker's shine felt more like a heat segment that was building and building to a finish. Then Angle took over likewise. I thought the highspots were just right in terms of giving the oomph to the story. Just wished they didn't fall into the Kurt Angle match trap, which is hard when the match involves Kurt Angle. Coulda been somebody. ****1/4

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Rey Mysterio vs Finlay - Smackdown 3/24/06

I love these two. Finlay is such a bully and he finally has someone to bully in Rey. Stiff clotheslines, stiff kicks, the way he drove him into the apron all nasty. Things starts off chippy and Finlay just grinds Mysterio down. Mysterio over enough that he doesn't need a shine. In 2006, you know what Rey is about so I like this. Finlay is master of torturing his opponent. I really liked Rey first comeback sequence. Good strikes, nice split-legged moonsault (I usually hate that move). I liked when Finlay got out of the way of the 619, Rey hit a nice baseball slide. Finlay catches Rey in the apron skirt and kicks the hell out of him. Nice use of that Finlay spot. Finlay beats the tar out of Rey in the second heat segment. Awesome, awesome. Rey makes a comeback with a wicked kick to the head. It kinda falls apart here a little bit. Rey's comeback is not that hot. Then once he does hit 619, Orton hits an RKO when Rey is sprinboarding, Ref was busy with Finlay. Fun to see Finlay kick some ass and Rey sell his ass off. Worthwhile TV match. ***1/2

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World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio vs Randy Orton - Smackdown 4/7/06

These two have crazy awesome chemistry with one another. This is the first Smackdown after Mania XXII where Mysterio won the championship over Angle & Orton. I think Orton & Mysterio could have main evented on their own. I thought this was in the same ballpark as their great No Way Out match but with the feel good finish here putting this one slightly ahead.

They really establish Orton's size advantage early on. Orton was so good execution at this point in his career. You can see why a Bret Hart would look on him so favorably. Should tackle bowls over Mysterio. Love Orton dropping to a knee to hit a massive European Uppercut it really magnified size difference, Great throwdown on a wheelbarrow Bulldog attempt. First Rey hope spot is a Rana, Orton powders on 619, but eats a seated senton on the floor. In the ring, Orton gets a hold of Rey Rey and hits that backbreaker he did early in his career. Great use and application of the chinlock.

Best spots of the match were Orton's pinpoint accuracy of his anti-air dropkicks to Mysterio when Rey Rey tried to fly (once springboard and once off the top). Rey really dove into them and Orton was perfect in execution.

My one complaint was it did get a bit extended squash-y. Rey could have used a shine early or more hope spots that worked. It felt like too many cutoffs and too much Orton offense without Orton really progressing. Minor quibble.

Finishing stretch was good with Rey Rey making his comeback throwing some nice strikes. Wish he sold the eyepoke better, but really the comeback is supposed to be hot so Orton probably should have used it early. Liked Orton's mistake (charging into the post) to set up the 619 and then Orton having the presence of mind to feed for another 619 when Rey was ready to finish. That second 619 got a big pop. Some veteran instincts from Orton there! Drop a dime and the win.

Really awesome, babyface/heel TV match that no one talk about. Big, clean win for Mysterio. Orton was great in his offense and beatdown. Orton could have been a bit more scummy and Mysterio could have gotten a bit more shine. Just some minor stuff. These two had great chemistry and their matches are not talked about enough. ****

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Chris Benoit vs Finlay - Smackdown 5/5/06

The closest thing to fucking BattlArts in a WWE ring. Just sheer brutality. Benoit gets busted open from the top of the skull at one point and I don't have a fucking clue how. Finlay driving the point of the elbow into the wound is something else. The opening matwork is just tremendous defensive wrestling. A real treat to watch. Benoit is tenacious going for the arm into the crossface early and Finlay has so many good leg trips. FINLAY BLASTS BENOIT WITH A CLOTHESLINE! The whole crowd nearly shat themselves during that. Benoit drives hard into the post. Finlay worked a great heat segment on the arm. Everytime Benoit got a hope spot like a Sharpshooter or Crossface attempt, Finlay would wriggle out and then just be all over him with a frenzied assault. When Benoit did finally fire back with chops to send Finlay to the outside, Finlay goes all Terry Funk and starts throwing chairs into the ring. Awesome! Benoit gets a dropkick to the knee while Finlay is on the apron to take over, great spot. Benoit is a machine. Crushing Finlay. Finlay's gets a Irish Whip counter into buckles. Finlay's second heat segment is the only drag. Lots of chinlocking, I get it when you are dealing with Benoit you want to sap his energy and just try to contain him, but there are more interesting ways. Benoit blasts his way back into this. Misses his diving headbutt always a cringe-worthy spot. Shillelagh time? Benoit fights through it dumping him out. Ref grabs the shillelagh but Finlay jabs Benoit with the chair and then hits the Celtic Cross. Awesome asshole finish. Brutal match with an amazing finish. It is Benoit vs Finlay need I say more. ****1/4

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Chris Benoit vs William Regal - WWE Velocity 5/13/06

The Kings of Velocity! I love how these two can make chain wrestling so meaningful, not through just struggle but where it leads also. Benoit almost wrangles the Crossface, but Regal escapes, but in his haste gets nailed with an enziguiri. Benoit gets greedy looking for a German off the apron when he gave chase and takes a nasty DDT on the apron. Um guys it is Velocity, you don't have to go this hard, but if you insist. Creepy Benoit moment when Regal kicks his head up against the post and Benoit does glassy eyed sell. Regal is in control and is great with the nasty stretches. Benoit is great at peppering in hope spots like the chop to the head or the Sharpshooter and Regal is great at cut offs like the palm strikes to the head to avoid the Sharpshooter. Great struggle over suplexes down the line. Benoit counters the Butterfly Suplex and pounces with a Crossface. Just a great, short, heated TV match. ***1/2

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Chris Benoit vs Finlay - WWE Judgement Day 2006

Chris Benoit is wicked over despite his push being down for two years now. The same thing was true in WCW where he was not pushed very often. I think Benoit has to be the most over person ever in relation to how little talking charisma he had. He has a lot of body language charisma. He has the silent, violent asskicker vibe that definitely resonates. Of course, that's what makes him so difficult to watch is how violent he can be in the ring and it turned out he was even more violent in real life.

Intense and gritty. That's going to shock absolutely nobody. I think the deeper story here is Finlay is reacting to Benoit. Benoit is a great babyface because he is like the Russians at Stalingrad. He is always moving forward. He is going to fight through everything. On about a handful of occasions, we see Finlay completely overwhelmed by the fury of the Rabid Wolverine. I thought Finlay's reaction each time was perfect. He was always trying to break Benoit's momentum first by using the ref, then it was an eye poke, and then finally it was going outside trying to use foreign objects twice. Sometimes, he was successful, like that eye poke really gave him his first control segment. Other times, Benoit would blast through these distractions. I really liked that sense of tension they built.

I thought it was very lo-fi not a lot of highspots and when they happened they counted. Transitions mattered. Everything was laid in. Benoit looked ferocious in this match. Finlay had jumped Benoit by using a distraction and got a little cocky so he started to disrespect Benoit with some slaps to the face. BENOIT ROARED BACK WITH THE SLAP TO END ALL SLAPS! Like you need to see this slap. He SMACKED Finlay. Watching Finlay backpedal and Benoit just race after him and still chop him was so awesome. Finlay eyepoke gives us the first Finlay heat segment, which I thought was excellent all centered around the head and neck while maintaining wrist control. The Benoit hope spots were great. He gets the Rolling Germans, the first one is nasty like a deadlift and misses Diving Headbutt, both men are kinda out. Benoit goes for Sharpshooter, Finlay kicks out and heads to floor. Finlay is spooked at this point. He averted disaster twice. Now he wants chair so Benoit baseball slides chair into him. Benoit knows how critical the Diving Headbutt is so he goes back and hits it. He does not cover just once, but twice. Benoit makes the Diving Headbutt such an important spot. He does not just leave it. He goes back, gets it and when it does not get him the win, he tries another cover. Now Benoit is a little lost in kayfabe and needs to regroup and look for Crossface, but Finlay reverses into a Bret Bump in the corner and smashes him in the back of the head.

Second Finlay heat segment not as good as first. There were some wicked short arm clotheslines! It kinda meandered. It was intense. It felt like Finlay was torturing Benoit but it was NOT progressing. This is my criticism. Finlay was not escalating towards a win, he kinda stalled out. Benoit's selling was so good in all of this. Benoit gets an enziguiri and again Finlay freaks out and heads to outside and goes for Shillelagh, but Benoit gets a German on outside and does the Three Amigos inside as a tribute to Eddie. I also thought this was weird as Finlay bumps him off apron and actually starts to work over the arm. All of sudden Benoit gets an armbar takedown, great struggle over Crossface and Finlay taps.

Angle take note, the struggle should be to put on the hold not in the hold!!!!

Great character work by both men. Benoit was a machine in this looked awesome. Finlay was great as the sort of mirror heel Benoit and made good choices reacting to Benoit. Benoit's great understanding of psychology and selling was on display. Thought Finlay needed to escalate in his second heat segment and go for the win, thought build to finish was strange. The finish itself was great and how you ought to do a submission finish. Excellent intense encounter with strong storytelling and psychology from both men. I still think Akiyama/Taue is match of the year. ****1/2

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Kurt Angle vs Mark Henry - Judgment Day 2006

Much better stuff out of these two. Henry lays a little badmouth on Angle before the match. This is during the period where Angle both acted like a psychopath in the ring and was even more of a psychopath outside the ring. He really comes off an unhinged here at the beginning. I love it. Gives it a blood feud feel. Angle is out for revenge after Henry busted up his ribs real good (wearing tape). Loving the urgency from Angle just hurling his body at Henry. When Henry misses a seat drop he is right on him with a kick. Eventually all this running around leads to SPLAT when Henry RUNS over him with a shouldertackle. Damn. Henry beats the shit out of those ribs. With big slams. Angle gets some good hope spots like a DDT, a German and Angleslam. Anklelock countered, duh. Henry wants to splash him through announce table. But Angle gets up and is splashed up against post for the countout Henry victory. I would say that was the biggest victory in Mark Henry's career at this point. It looks like Mark Henry's gets injured right before the summer of 2006. They probably would have had Batista beat him like a drum around the horn in a revenge angle. Some real good stuff and not just Mark Henry's big man stuff, dug Angle's intensity. ***

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WWE US Champion Finlay vs William Regal - GAB 2006

"Give me some skin, Teddy!" - Finlay

Finlay was in the midst of a feud with Bobby Lashley, but Lashley was suffering from elevated liver enzymes and so he is out and instead we get this gem. Even when their matches are unheralded you got to go out of your way to see a Finlay vs Regal bout. Not as good as their WCW wars, but this is still a hard hitting, badass affair. Now the fans do get restless and they end up chanting boring. I don't think it was due to bad workmanship per se, but the lack of a narrative. It is hard to call this a spotfest as there were almost no highspots. But there was no web between the spots. Regal was sort of playing de facto babyface, but they did not do a shine or a heat segment. They didn't get the fans invested in Regal. They went out and did a Regal vs Finlay match where they stiffed the hell out of each other. Yes, that appeals to me, but I don't think that would appeal to the broader audience. I actually thought they had a couple missed opportunities. This was during the time period where Finlay had the Little Bastard (aka Hornswoggle) under the ring. The first two times Regal got momentum, the Little Bastard was there to stunt it. The first time he was hitting Regal with a shillelagh and second time he bit his fingers. This could have led to great hand psychology from Finlay. Or they could have kept up with the narrative that Regal cant get anything going with that Little Bastard under the ring. JBL tells Michael Cole not to call him that because he may have parents. Turns out he was a bastard, the bastard son of Vince McMahon. :)

The finish was a typically creative, good one from these two. Finlay does his classic catch his opponent in the apron skirt. Regal comes out without one of his boots. Cole surmises that the Little Bastard must have taken it. Finaly stomps the foot and goes for the throat. Regal fires up and grabs the shillelagh. Little Bastard gives Finlay the boot and he waylays him for the win. This is a match that I clearly enjoy, but understand that it is tone deaf and lacked a narrative. ***1/2

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Chris Benoit vs William Regal - WWE No Mercy 2006

If it was anyone else, I would say this was a borderline disturbing match, but given what Benoit due in less than a year it crossed the line for me. This was very violent and JBL was having a damn orgasm over it. I love stiffness, but just seemed excessive at times.

This match is a combination of the two previous Velocity matches. Benoit is back after a six month sabbatical and this is his return match. They are amazing at chain wrestling. Regal into the body scissors was a fun spot. Benoit lights up Regal with some wicked chops and those cracks wake up the crowd. That first fucking headbutt. Oh my fucking God! Benoit really rammed his head. Regal is busted wide open. Benoit's mouth is bleeding. Holy shit! Diving headbutt on the cut. Goddamnit! They move way too quickly into false German spot to set up apron DDT. It is weird that spot comes from the second Velocity match and the headbutts come from the first Velocity match. I think DDT on apron is a great transition, but they moved too quickly. This match also lacked that great Benoit selling of the first Velocity match. Regal was not nearly as good as in the this heat segment as the first Velocity match. Benoit's chop to the head as a hope spot is great. Regal's verbal selling is awesome. JBL is having a helluva time. Benoit's struggle to get the Dragon Suplex was great and quick finish with the Crossface leads to the sick visual of Regal bleeding from the head and Benoit bleeding from the mouth.

Intense yes, but I thought the violence was gratuitous at times. Unlike the first Velocity match which felt like it was building to something and paid off well with Benoit overcoming the Regal onslaught to win. Here they pieced together their two Velocity matches ramped up the violence and Benoit's selling was not as good. I cant say part of me didn't enjoy this because there was great pro wrestling in here. Anything this intense is going to be gripping to watch, but I think the first Velocity match from 2005 is the classic from these two not this one. ***1/4

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WWE US Champion Chris Benoit vs Finlay - WWE Smackdown 11/24/06

As expected another tremendous match from these two. Not as good as their WWE MOTYC from this year, but another great TV bout. Loved Finlay's selling of Benoit's chops. The way he backpedaled and his facial expressions while Benoit just kept coming. Perfect use of eyepoke to stymie Benoit. Finlay just suffocated Benoit which is exactly what you need to do to the Rabid Wolverine. The German suplex, dive outside the ring were a pair of good hope spots to send us into the break. I thought the transition to real heat was great. Benoit gives chase and Finlay shoves Benoit into the steps drawing blood from kidney. Very desperate, very real. Finlay targets the leg and tortures it. Really good half crab. Liked Benoit's hope spot of Sharpshooter attempt but Finlay picks the leg and drags it out to the post for more punishment. My quibble is Benoit's use of six suplexes in his comeback when all that great leg work had happened. Chavo & Vickie distract allowing the Little Bastard (when Hornswoggle was cool) to give Finlay the shillelagh who whacks Benoit and hits Celtic Cross for win. Strong hard hitting match wished Benoit was a bit more creative on finish stretch and the finish was good did not really inspire me one way or another. ***3/4

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WWE Tag Champs London & Kendrick vs Hardyz vs MNM vs Regal & Taylor -
Armageddon 2006 Ladder Match

Fun fact: This was supposed to be London & Kendrick vs Regal & Taylor, but Teddy changed it right before the match. I hazard to guess a straight tag would be much better than this cluster fuck.

This got plenty of hype at the time and then faded into obscurity, which makes sense. It was a car wreck, but does not age well. Besides Mercury's face exploding, there is no real super Holy Shit spot. The energy level was not there. Regal & Taylor were the only ones attempting to add a story element with their being afraid of heights so they try incapacitate their opponents using a ground game to give them ample time to climb the ladders. MNM was just there, nothing noteworthy. London & Kendrick were great at eating offense and taking bumps onto ladders. I like their double stomp on Matt on the ladder. London & Kendrick could have been so much more. They felt like the Rock & Rolls meet the Hardyz. Two outstanding bumpers and sellers that can do the high-flying stuff and are wicked good looking. However, this is the match where pretty boys need to show their mettle. Like the Rockers in those bloodbaths against Rose&Somers, London & Kendrick needed to do more asskicking. The Hardyz were the best at offense. They were the blueprint for London & Kendrick. I felt like they overshadowed London & Kendrick because they were getting the offense that London& Kendrick should be getting. Plus Matt's right hand is sick. Finish was pretty lame. Sliced Bread No. 2 did not come off well and Kendrick looked like he almost died. Then there was no grand finale. It was just London and Matt fighting on ladder with Matt losing.

Meh. Which I feel bad about because there was a lot of pain felt here and Mercury's face became raw hamburger meat, but this did not do much for me.

Nostalgia Runs Wild: WWE in 2006

Hey yo Stud Muffins & Foxy Ladies,

Part 4 of 40 as we are now 10% done with this gargantuan project of looking back at the best the WWF/E has to offer from 1978-2017. It is 2006 and I am a sophomore-junior in high school and like every good teenager I hated John Cena. I am a bit ashamed to admit it, but I was a teenager. This is probably why I overcompensate with my effusive love of John Cena today. :)

The year 2005 had a very clear narrative move the company in a very fresh and new direction. They positioned John Cena & Batista as the new aces and everything was done to make them feel like the biggest superstars on the roster. On top of that, Randy Orton was given about as a big push as you can get as a heel spending the majority of the year feuding with The Undertaker. But we are not here to discuss 2005, we are here to discuss 2006, in my opinion one of the most forgettable years in WWE history. 2006 began WWE's current business model of peddling nostalgia. The major storylines of the year featured the reunion of D-Generation X to feud with the McMahons, no less and resurrection of ECW. In addition, Hulk Hogan had his last match in WWE history (I was there!) and Mick Foley was a prominent figure throughout the year. Nostalgia is running wild!

The Year WWE made Nostalgia their business model: D-X, ECW and Hulk Hogan

The Main Event Roster of 2006: John Cena, Batista (out from January-June), HHH, Shawn Michaels, The Undertaker, Kurt Angle (Leaves company in Summer of 2006 for TNA), Randy Orton, Edge, Rey Mysterio, King Booker

The big news from the beginning of the year was that Batista was injured and was being forced to relinquish the World Heavyweight Championship (Smackdown!) when he tore his right tricep against Mark Henry at a house show. They had Mark Henry put him out of action on TV and then had a battle royale to crown the new champion. They smartly moved Kurt Angle from the stacked RAW roster to fill the void. This was during the first big monster Mark Henry push that did not take. Henry got multiple matches with Angle (one for the title at Rumble), Mysterio and even got a Taker match. At the time, I didn't understand why Sexual Chocolate was being pushed, but we have already established I was a lame teenager. The push did take in 2011 thank God and Mark Henry got the place in the Sun he deserved. Congratulations to Mark on going into the Hall of Fame this year! I should mention here that Undertaker and Kurt Angle had a fantastic match at No Way Out that is often considered the WWE match of the year for 2006.

Staying on the Smackdown side of things, Rey Mysterio won the Royal Rumble as a part of the tribute to Eddie Guerrero. This storyline has mostly gotten negative reviews due to the infamous promo where Randy Orton claims Eddie is not watching down from Heaven, but rather up from HELL! I think if Guerreros are ok with it let heels be heels. I think the bigger problem was just how weak Rey Mysterio looked throughout this main event run. You could tell the WWE did not believe in Rey as truly the guy. They saw him as a huge merch mover and big time draw for the Latino audience but due to his small stature and maybe due to his mediocre promo skills they did not see him as THE MAN. That's why you can get lame moves like making his WrestleMania match a triple threat with Angle & Orton. I will say Rey & Orton did have fantastic chemistry in the ring. I do recommend checking out their matches even if they are not blow-away classics they are very good. Rey ends up winning at Mania, which should have felt like an amazing moment like when Eddie won at No Way Out or Daniel Bryan won at WrestleMania XXX, but it just rings hollow. Both due to the build-up and the lackluster run that followed as Rey was never given a hot storyline that you could really sink your teeth into. There were fun TV matches with Mark Henry & Kurt Angle and JBL is a great promo, but none of it really is memorable. Ultimately, they put a bullet in the reign when the King Booker gimmick took off and Booker T finally won the big one in July of 2006 at Great American Bash. Rey would have the first of his many injury sabbaticals as Chavo & Vickie Guerrero turned heel on Rey and put him out of action.

Somewhere, I need to mention that the Smackdown midcard in 2006 was a ton of fun and it was anchored by Christ Benoit and Finlay just lighting up against each other. Benoit vs Finlay at Judgement Day 2006 is a common choice for WWE Match of the Year for 2006. I have at it #2. It is a real testament to these two in-ring generals that they could get a midcard match so over. Benoit actually a very rare injury sabbatical in the summer of 2006. He would come back in late 2006 and have a wicked violent, disturbing match with William Regal at No Mercy. Finlay what an out of nowhere comeback story. Just incredible! US Champion for most of the year, anchoring midcard, great TV after great TV match, MULTIPLE PPV main events and a key member of King Booker's act. Finlay is one of the few bright spots in a lackluster year for WWE.

On the RAW side, John Cena remained healthy and was continued to be pushed heavily as The Man of the WWE. I will say the biggest success story of 2006 was Edge. I am far from an Edgehead but this was by far the time period that Edge was the most interesting since the Edge & Christian. His tandem with trashy Lita was incredible! Edge cashed in the first Money In The Bank in a legendary moment at New Years Revolution after an Elimination Chamber. I thought the month that followed some really strong TV. The TLC match against Ric Flair and the Live Sex Celebration from recollection was some of the best TV of the year. I remember the Internet was pretty deflated when Cena won it back at the Rumble. I will give credit to the WWE they did not return Edge to the midcard, but they continued to invest him with a match against Mick Foley at Wrestlemania and the Money In The Bank cash-in really was the turning point of his career. With Cena, Batista, HBK, Undertaker and soon Triple H being babyfaces, the WWE needed heels and Edge was a perfect candidate to take advantage of the opportunity. ;)

2006 was an interesting year for Cena...I thought 2005 was booked perfectly going over JBL, Jericho and Kurt Angle. Now he needed to go up against the big boys like HHH, HBK and Undertaker. Out of those three, Triple H as a heel was the obvious option. I don't remember much of the build to their match. I think it was during this build HHH did his infamous promo where he cut Cena's balls off and basically said John Cena couldn't work, which indulged all the stupid smart mark opinion. Some of the blame has to go on Cena for not rebutting more strongly, but I do blame HHH was cementing a lot of the polarization of John Cena just so that he could play the cool heel. HHH did ultimately put over Cena in match that I have seen once a long time ago that I did not think was that remarkable. What is strange about 2006 is they did not seem to know what they wanted to do next with John Cena. We get the lame triple threat with him and Triple H & Edge, which I don't remember and I would surprised if anyone did. Then it became apparent what the direction was WWE was going to go nostalgia really hard by resurrecting ECW and D-Generation X.

I think ECW was very disruptive to the overall plans of the WWE, but at the same time they really did not have much. The front half of the year for Smackdown was the Rey Mysterio reign that went bust and the second half was the fun distraction of the King Booker reign, but you knew ultimately it was not going to go anywhere. On RAW, they did not have a path forward so they looked backwards. That is how we ended up with D-X (HHH & HBK) and ECW dominating the airwaves pushing Cena back.

D-X reunited as a part of the very strange Shawn Michaels vs Vince McMahon storyline. Basically, they did not have a major match for Shawn at Mania so they stuck him with Vince because Vince is more over than the most the roster. The setup for this feud was so confusing. It revolved around Montreal but I still don't know why Vince was pissed at Shawn. It was very convoluted. Poor writing. This led to some good campy Vince vignettes in a Church mocking Shawn's newfound religion and ultimately Vince & Shane beat Shawn & God in a wrestling match. They even had a spotlight to act as God. It also led to that great JR call of "Father, Son and The Holy Spirit Squad". Eventually, HHH reunited with Shawn to wrestle the McMahons and bury the Spirit Squad, which in fairness was always going to just be a fun midcard act.

At first it did seem like WWE was acting in good faith to re-launch ECW bringing in Paul Heyman to run it using both original ECW talent and fresh talent. Rob Van Dam was given a strong push winning the Money In The Bank and winning the WWE Championship from John Cena at the Hammerstein Ballroom at One Night Stand. I actually watch all of One Night Stand recently except for the main event which I really need to watch. It was an amazing teleportation back to the 90s even though it took place in 2006. Rey vs Sabu was disappointing that is the general consensus and I have to agree. I thought Edge & Foley vs Dreamer & Funk was a good trash brawl, but nothing next level. It did seem like RVD was going to finally get that big push that a lot of the Internet wanted, but he was busted smoking pot I believe and the wheels came off the wagon. Edge would win the WWE Championship in a triple threat from Cena & RVD on RAW. An excellent idea to reset and again position Edge as a serious heel in the main event.

So we finally culminate at Summerslam and why did I structure the blog this way? Because I was at Summerslam!

The opener was Chavo vs Rey which was a decent match. I don't have too much of a recollection of the match but this was as Rey was on his way out and Vickie was beginning her career which would end up having her as a very significant part of WWE for years to come. Big Show had become ECW Champion and was re-branded as an Extreme, Violent Giant. Pitting him against Sabu was smart as Sabu was the biggest star of the ECW Originals but this match was a clusterfuck. A ton of Sabu blown spots, but hey I SAW SABU LIVE! At Summerslam...how weird is that! Oh Shit! I forgot I saw the very last Hulk Hogan match in WWE ever in person! How about that for a fun fact? Randy Orton was not positioned as strongly as Edge, but they did a good job making sure you knew he was a protected heel. After the Rey storyline, he was feuding with Angle which I think was good for him, but Angle left for TNA due to the fact Angle was clearly messed up and should not have been on the road for his own safety so he just left. This led to Orton getting a massive match with Hogan. All I remember is that Hulk Hogan was clearly the most over person on that show. It was NOT even close. Then it was Flair vs Foley in I Quit match that people seem to really like and I am bummed to say I don't remember anything about except Melina. I LOVE Flair and I LOVED him at that time. I cant believe I watched Sabu, Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair on the same show back to back to back in 2006! How weird is that? So I am going to rewatch that match. Next up Batista had returned the previous month and it was obvious that he was going to go over Booker, but they just delayed inevitable. I didn't mind that because Booker with his Court (Queen Sharmell, Finlay & Regal) was wicked entertaining. My Dad absolutely loved that gimmick and still mentions it to do this day. The Booker/Batista matches were just flat though. D-X vs McMahon featured a ton of run-ins from the midcard heels and it was a pretty decent match. I remember the McMahons doing Demolition Decapitation and marking out. The main event was Edge defending his championship against John Cena in Cena's hometown and I remember a lot of boos. This was during time period where I told my brother we should be quiet during Cena's entrance and match because if he gets no reaction he would be pushed down the card. I am right and it shows that smart marks are still getting worked, BUT boy am I embarrassed at my lack of respect for the WWE GOAT. John Cena is the Man and my eyes have been opened. I don't remember that Cena vs Edge being that great. Their Unforgiven TLC match was awesome and still holds up and I have that as my WWE Match of The Year for 2006. Overall, a lackluster workrate show, but mind-blowing in terms of who was on the card.

The Autumn of 2006 did not really have any big highlights. Batista regained the championship from King Booker as expected. D-X finished off their feud with the McMahons and so they needed a new team to feud with. Enter Rated RKO, which I think was genius for Edge and Orton. With Edge vanquished from the title picture and Orton having nothing to do, this was perfect to keep these two in the limelight and established them as THE TWO TOP HEELS. Cena had a very, very quiet Autumn as they were heating up a new monster heel for him in the form of the SAMOAN BULLDOZER, UMAGA! To me Cena is old school. He is a throwback not to the 90s, but to the 80s. I think a monster, savage heel plays into John Cena's wheelhouse more than anything else.

One wrestler I have not talked about is The Undertaker. He had the fantastic match against Angle at No Way Out and then a casket match against Mark Henry. He started a feud with the Great Khali which was reminiscent of his shitty early 90s feuds against the likes of Giant Gonzalez and King Mabel. It was a clusterfuck with Khali having injury issues. Taker would then be placed in a long feud with Mr. Kennedy who was being earmarked as potential top heel to join Edge & Orton. The feud was pretty lackluster and when you have less charisma than Randy Fucking Orton you know you suck and that was Mr. Kennedy. He just was not interesting. It just dawned on me he reminds me of Dane Cook, who is from my hometown of Arlington, Mass, the Greatest Town on God's Green Earth. They revel too much in being loud and obnoxious. Just be loud & obnoxious. Don't tell us you are loud and obnoxious.

2006 a very forgettable year in WWE history. They kinda stalled out Cena, but then he roared back with a great feud against Edge in the summer that is fondly remembered. Batista stalled out due to injuries but ended up back on top of the mountain. Lots of nostalgia with D-X and ECW. The big success story was cementing Edge & Randy Orton as the top heels for the rest of the decade. In terms of workrate a pretty poor year, Finaly kept the Smackdown midcard watchable and there is a dearth of high end matches.

WON Match Of The Year Rankings (Overall Ranking In Parenthesis):

1. Chris Benoit vs Finlay - WWE Judgement Day 2006 (7)
2. World Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle vs Undertaker - WWE No Way Out 2006 (10)
3. WWE Champion John Cena vs Edge - WWE Unforgiven TLC Match (15)
4. Edge vs Mick Foley - WrestleMania XXII (16)

Smarkschoice Rankings of the Greatest WWF/E Match of All Time (Overall Ranking ):

1. Chris Benoit vs Finlay - WWE Judgement Day 2006 (57)
2. World Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle vs Undertaker - WWE No Way Out 2006 (60)
3. WWE Champion John Cena vs Edge - WWE Unforgiven TLC Match (#75)
4. Chris Benoit vs Finlay - WWE Smackdown 5/5/06 (94)
5. Mick Foley/Edge/Lita vs. Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer/Beulah - One Night Stand 6/11/06 (104)
6. Chris Benoit vs. William Regal - No Mercy 10/8/06 (115)

Total Matches Watched: 22

Matches I need To Watch or Rewatch:
Ric Flair vs Mick Foley - Summerslam 2006
Ric Flair vs Edge - RAW TLC
Rated RKO vs DX - Cyber Sunday 2006
John Cena vs RVD - One Night Stand 2006

Reviews from Matches on the Blue Brand: http://ridingspacemountain.blogspot.com/2018/03/i-love-to-fight-smackdown-in-2006.html

Reviews from Matches on the Raw Brand: http://ridingspacemountain.blogspot.com/2018/03/you-think-you-know-me-raw-in-2006.html

Honorable Mention: Chris Benoit vs Finlay - WWE Smackdown 5/5/06 ****1/4

3. World Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle vs Undertaker - WWE No Way Out 2006

2, Chris Benoit vs Finlay - WWE Judgement Day 2006

1. WWE Champion John Cena vs Edge - WWE Unforgiven TLC Match

Saturday, March 24, 2018

ALLEY FIGHT: WWF in 1981 (Bob Backlund, Sgt. Slaughter, Pat Patterson)

Hey yo Stud Muffins & Foxy Ladies

This is part 3 of 40 of a year by year countdown of the best the WWF/E has to offer between 1978-2017. I am realizing that at the pace I am going this is going to take me the better part of a year to finish up so I am going to try to speed up. This blog post covers a year from one of my favorite eras, the Bob Backlund Era as we look at 1981.

First & foremost when discussing the Bob Backlund Era of WWF (1978-1983) the number one thing you should do is listen to Titans of Wrestling. A funny and informative podcast that covers this time period in great detail and I am not just saying that because they are my friends and I am an honorary Titan, I am saying it because it is goddamn true. Titans of Wrestling was the best podcast pro wrestling history.

Titans of Wrestling on Place To Be Nation: http://placetobenation.com/titans-of-wrestling/

The most legendary match of 1981 to take place in the WWF was the Alley Fight between Sgt. Slaughter and Pat Patterson. Sgt. Slaughter was one of the top heels in America doing a drill sergeant gimmick (based on his real life experience) at time when America. Sarge is a terrific bumping heel that is not afraid to show ass and really shine up a babyface. However at the same time he is large enough to be taken seriously when it comes time to get heat on a babyface. He brought in late 1980 as a challenger for Bob Backlund. They would have a great series at the Philadelphia Spectrum in early '81 culminating in a classic cage match that I rank among the best cage matches of all time. On TV, Sarge's gimmick was that he had an unbreakable hold known as the Cobra Clutch that once locked in would force a man to submit OR ELSE! As Sarge was bullying these jabronis, badass wrestler turned TV announcer, Pat Patterson took exception to this and he took up the Cobra Clutch Challenge on TV. There is a great big struggle of Patterson trying to escape the Cobra Clutch and just as he is about to, Sarge knees him in the gut and beats him down. What a prick! This sets up the April match at MSG which does a great job setting up the blood, violent Alley Fight, which I have as my 1981 Match of The Year and something I would put in Top 100 Matches of All Time.

Pat Patterson was taking up the mantle of Bruno Sammartino. Sammartino's gimmick was that he was the Living Legend. A badass, working class hero that walked tall and destroyed the heels after Bob Backlund was finished with them. However after finishing up a red hot with protégé Larry Zybszko in 1980, Bruno left to start an independent promotion in his hometown of Pittsburgh. So Pat Patterson filled the void Bruno left becoming Vince McMahon's co-host on TV and feuding with the main heels of 1981 such as Sgt. Slaughter and King Kong Mosca.

In 1981 felt another big blow after Bruno departed when Andre The Giant injured his ankle apparently getting out of bed. Andre was a top touring attraction globally and a mainstay of WWF shows in the northeast. They ended up running a hot TV angle where Andre was giving an update on his injury (storyline sustained from an attack by Killer Khan) when Killer Khan attacked the injury with his crutch. This set up a stretcher match in late 1981 between these two and to my knowledge the first of its kind. While it did not live up to the hype of a truly great match, these two do have an excellent classic in New Japan in 1982 that I highly recommend.

The WWF tag team scene was dominated by the ultra white meat babyface combination of Rick Martel and Tony Garea. Tony Garea, a Kiwi, was a mainstay of the WWF babyface midcard in the 70s winning numerous tag team championships and is also famous of being a part of many pull apart brawls in the 90s as a TV agent. Rick Martel is one of the all-time great babyfaces. He was brought in 1980 as Garea's tag team partner lifting the tag team belts off of the Samoans. They then feuded with the psycho hillbillies, the Moondogs in a great series before finishing up against the evil tag team from the Orient of Mr. Fuji and Mr. Saito. Fuji & Saito won the tag belts on TV after Fuji threw NOTHING BUT PURE SALT RIGHT IN THE FACE OF RICK MARTEL!

The WWF Intercontinental Championship was dominated by Pedro Morales, the former WWF Champion of the early 70s. Morales was facing Backlund's hammy-downs until the summer of 1981 when he dropped the championship to a hot newcomer that lazy beach bum from Hawaii, Don Muraco. The Magnificent Muraco used the championship as a springboard to challenge for Backlund's championship. Once that series was completed, Muraco and Morales feuded again with Morales winning the Intercontinental Championship back before the end of the year.

Last but not least, BOB BACKLUND! My boy had a stellar year in 1981! Two fantastic matches with Sgt. Slaughter the Spectrum. Both should be watched as the January match sets up the Cage match really well. The Cage match is a violent affair and should be remembered as one of the all time great cage matches. Admittedly, his three match series with Stan Hansen is disappointing given the talent involved. The summer of 1981 is pretty barren as he is feuding with the terrible boring King Kong Mosca and has a one off with George the Animal Steele. There is a match with Killer Khan from Philly that I want to track down. Things pick up in the fall with The Magnificent Muraco debuting and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine returning. Muraco and Backlund have a great Texas Death Match in September at MSG, but then follow it up with maybe the worst match I have ever seen in October at the Spectrum. The crowning moment of Bob Backlund's 1981 campaign was his series against his great rival, Greg The Hammer Valentine. When these two go at it, you know you are going to get a stiff, and I mean double stiff confrontation. After their October 1981 MSG bout ends in controversy, the WWF Heavyweight Championship is Held-Up. Now Bob Backlund must win back his championship in the rematch in November at MSG. Backlund does so and MSG ERUPTS! It is a MASSIVE POP! Then in the ultimate feel-good moment Bob Backlund leads them in a proto-YES chant! As a massive Bob Backlund fan, it is really cool to see him that over in the Garden.

Wrestling Observer Newsletter Match Of The Year, 1981:

1. Sgt. Slaughter vs Pat Patterson - MSG 5/4/81, Alley Fight (#1)

Smarkschoice Rankings of Greatest WWF/E Match of All Time (Overall in Parenthesis):

1. Death Match: Bob Backlund vs. Don Muraco - Madison Square Garden 9/21/81 (#38)*
2. Cage Match: Bob Backlund vs. Sgt. Slaughter - Philadelphia Spectrum 3/21/81 (#42)
3. Alley Fight: Pat Patterson vs. Sgt. Slaughter - Madison Square Garden 5/4/81 (#65)
4. Bob Backlund vs. Don Muraco - Philadelphia Spectrum 10/17/81 (#105)**
5. Bob Backlund vs. Stan Hansen - Madison Square Garden 2/16/81 (#110)
6. Bob Backlund vs. Sgt. Slaughter - Philadelphia Spectrum 1/10/81 (#113)
7. Bob Backlund vs. Greg Valentine - Madison Square Garden 11/23/81 (#116)

*This is a crazy high ranking for a match that has its strong points but is overall very uneven. I am shocked it was at #38. Did JDW stump hard for this match. Also shocked it finished above the vaunted Alley Fight.
**This is one of the worst matches I have ever seen. It was so egregious that I actually included the review as a bonus match review. Shocked that this got any votes at all

DVDVR Best of the 80s WWF Project (Overall in Parenthesis)*:

1. Alley Fight: Pat Patterson vs. Sgt. Slaughter - Madison Square Garden 5/4/81 (#26)
2. Bob Backlund vs. Sgt. Slaughter - Philadelphia Spectrum 1/10/81 (#33)
3. Cage Match: Bob Backlund vs. Sgt. Slaughter - Philadelphia Spectrum 3/21/81 (#35)

*Did not include any of the Bob Backlund vs Greg Valentine matches from 1981.

Reviews of All Bob Backlund Matches I watched from 1981: http://ridingspacemountain.blogspot.com/2018/03/where-he-lives-and-where-he-loves-bob.html

Reviews of the rest of WWF from 1981: http://ridingspacemountain.blogspot.com/2018/03/nothing-but-pure-salt-wwf-in-1981.html

Honorable Mentions:

5. WWF Heavyweight Champion Bob Backlund vs Greg Valentine - MSG 10/19/81 ****1/2

4. WWF Heavyweight Champion Bob Backlund vs Sgt. Slaughter - WWF, Philly 1/10/81 ****1/2

#3. Bob Backlund vs Greg Valentine
MSG 11/23/81 WWF Heavyweight Championship, No Holds Barred

This is the rematch from last month's disputed finish show where The Hammer walked out the Champion, but did not win the match. Thus the championship is held up and there must be a winner! Backlund is red-hot to start and beats Valentine's ass from pillar to post. The Hammer was great here at selling, begging off and bumping for Backlund making him look like Superman. Valentine goes for broke rushing into the corner with double knees and jams them in the turnbuckles. Backlund gives a taste of his Hammer's medicine to the Hammer working over the leg. I will say the one thing that did bring it down for me was Backlund's kicks to the leg were not the best. I recognize this is not Shoot-Style Japan, but Backlund has those killer headbutts, punches and forearms it makes his kicks look extra weak. Valentine is selling this for all its worth and when Backlund does use his fist to work the leg or an actual hold it is better for it. Valentine tries to dig himself out of this hole with desperation lunges, but it seems too deep at first with Backlund headbutting and punching his way back into control. On a figure-4 attempt, Valentine is able to punch Bob in the head and pounce on his leg. Valentine takes Backlund to school. No disrespect to the champ, but this is how you do it. Backlund fights him off and throws some wicked European Uppercuts to Valentine's leg from ground. Holy shit, both their legs are just shot and I am loving the double leg psychology. Valentine just grabs Backlunds ankle and scoots out and wraps his knee around the post. There is no avoiding it this time, Backlund is taken into the Figure-4 twice and his mettle is tested, but GOSHDARNIT HE IS BOB BACKLUND AND HE NEVER GIVES UP. With every fiber of his being and muscles bulging, Bob turns Valentine into the ropes. Both men are just exhausted. Valentine is the first one to try a suplex for a victory, but he can't capitalize. Backlund hits a magnificient, textbook German with a beautiful bridge to win the match! MSG explodes and Backlund leads him in a proto-Yes chant. I agree with the Titans this feels like the climax of Bob Backlund's reign. I thought this was exactly on par with the original 1981 match. I thought the original one just felt a bit grittier. Valentine was more frustrated and Backlund scrappier, but this one had sweet feel-good finish. It is a total toss-up; both are all-time classics. ****1/2

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#2. WWF World Heavyweight Champion Bob Backlund vs Sgt. Slaughter

WWF, Philly 3/21/81, Steel Cage Match

"He hit him where he lives and where he loves." - Kal Rudman on when Slaughter punches him in the testicles.

For my money, the best WWF steel cage match of the 1980s, but it is close. It is a perfect combination of bumps and violence. Backlund at avoiding moves to elicit a big pop. Slaughter smashes his hand and head into the steel cage because Backlund ducks. Backlund throws Slaughter into the cage a couple times and Slaughter really launches himself into the cage. Kal's bloodlust is working in overdrive during this match as he eagerly awaits the bloodletting of Sarge. Slaughter after getting his ass kicked goes low and then inverted atomic drop on the balls. He throws Backlund shoulder first into the cage twice. Dick lets us know that Backlud shoulder was injured by Hansen at MSG. Backlund shows great wherewithal always grabbing Sarge's foot before Slaughter can exit via the door. BACKLUND PILEDRIVER! Here comes a classic Titans of Wrestling line about pablum, which was a classic Johnny Sorrow/Parv interaction. Backlund tries to climb out, but Slaughter is able to yank him down. Slaughter tries to climb the cage himself so Backlund gets some payback and smashes Slaughter's balls. Both men are down and to quote Kal Rudman, They are on Weird Street! Again Slaughter tries to exit the door and Backlund is able to stop him by grabbing the foot. BIG SLAUGHTER BUMP OVER THE TURNBUCKLES INTO CAGE! Kal's bloodlust is revving up. Backlund is teeing off on Slaughter's head and throwing him into the cage. Kal cant believe there is no blood. It is only a matter of time, Kal says, Backlund with big hammer punches on Sarge. Kal is so excited when the blood gushes and even says he is working on the cut. That's exactly what I was going to say! Slaughter backs him into the corner and Backlund moves as Sarge rames his head into the post on a mistimed shoulderblock. LOVE IT! Backlund rakes Sarge's face on the steel. THAT IS BLOOD! Kal exclaims. Backlund's awesome punches are on full display here. He punches Slaughter so hard he falls to the door. This is the best escape struggle. He slams Slaughter's head into the steel doorframe. OW! We get a closeup of Sarge's fingers on the door and then Backlund stomps those fingers on the steel! OUCH! Awesome! Slaughter goes back to work on the nuts of Bob Backlund because that is his only offense. There is a quick cut in my version. Backlund slams Slaughter's head into top of cage. Backlund triumphantly parades out to a roaring crowd.

The cut hurts the finish and makes it feel a little lackluster. This was a great Backlund asskicking. As with most Backlund matches, I do wish we get some more heat on Backlund, but after the January match you wanted to see Backlund kick the shit out of him and that's what you got. Sarge took some awesome, awesome bumps. Classic steel cage match. ****1/2

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#1. Sgt. Slaughter vs Pat Patterson - WWF, MSG 5/4/81, Alley Fight

The World Wrestling Federation in 1980-81 was a damn solid promotion. I feel like Bruno would have been in this role if he was still around, but instead we get Pat, which aint a bad thing at all. Slaughter had been tormenting jobbers on TV as part of his Cobra Clutch. Well Black Demon wasnt having any of it so he bailed on the whole thing. Patterson conducted the interview with Sarge, who called him yellow so it was on. Slaughter and Patterson have a great little mini match with Patterson trying to escape the Cobra Clutch and just as he is about to, Slaughter knees in the gut and then brutally attacks him with a chair and puts the Clutch back on. Titans favorites Middle Aged & Crazy Dom Denucci (Kelly), Tony Garea (Johnny) and Ricky Martel (Parv's) save the day as Denucci lives up to his name and goes crazy with the chair on Slaughter. It was a damn good brawl. I know I have seen the April MSG match that set up this match before. but I couldnt find it so I went straight to the Alley Fight.

Hot damn! They just dont make bloody violent brawls like they used to. Patterson comes out in the famous I <3 NY shirt that is usually how I picture him in my head. He wastes no time bringing the fight to Gomer excuse me I mean Sgt. Slaughter. Patterson takes off his belt and whips Slaughter like the dog he is and then he chokes him out. Slaughter is getting his ass handed to him. He rakes the eyes and get gets a hold of the belt. He whips Patterson and then wraps the belt around his mouth, which is another famous visual from this match. Sarge rips off the I <3 NY shirt only to choke him with it. BOOOOOOOOOOOO! Patterson sends him flying over the top rope to the floor. Patterson drops his famous and dangerous Bombs Away Kneedrop on Slaughter. Slaughter is able to resume control by chucking Patterson over the top rope. But not for long as Patterson catapults him over the turnbuckles into the steel and Sarge does a 5-alarm baldejob. Holy shit! He was gushing blood profusely. His selling of being knocked loopy was awesome. Patterson starts to tee off on him to a raucous crowd so Sarge goes back to his favorite cut off punching some where he lives and where he loves, his balls. He puts on some brass knux, but he is so fucked up he cant capitalize. Patterson blocks at every turn and takes off his Cowboy Boot and smokes him. Then he starts ramming his head into hard metal objects then back to cowboy boot. We need a mercy killing because Patterson is destroying Slaughter and Wizard finally throws in the towel. Slaughter kinda intimates he wants to keep fighting, but he is so fucked up on weird street I don't think he knew where he was! Wizard takes him to the back.

As a street fight this was badass, but I think the rules or lack of rules hurt the finish. I get what they were going for with no referee that was an unsanctioned, real deal street fight like you would see at a bar. It accomplished that all the way up until they needed a finish and it just lacked that climax that is the 1-2-3. I think "I Quit" rules would have also been perfect for this if someone had thought of that. Still one of the all-time classics and a top 5 WWF 80s match. ****3/4

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Bonus Worst Match of All Time Review:
WWF Heavyweight Champion Bob Backlund vs Don Muraco - WWF Philly 10/17/81

I have been both dreading this match and am intrigued by it. Doing it this the same way as the Valentine draw in twenty minute intervals.

"They are really playing to the crowd" - Dick Graham as Backlund sits in his third hammerlock of the night

"You cant doubt Don Muraco is a great athlete." - Dick Graham as Muraco sits in his third stomach claw

"This feels like it has been going on for hours and hours." - Dick Graham finally getting it right

" This is too much for even a masochist to handle" - Kal Rudman with the great line of the night

First Twenty Minutes: It picked up in the last 3 minutes, but the first 17 were pretty damn boring. The lone highspot was a Bob Backlund monkey flip. Muraco headlock was transitioned into a Backlund hammerlock. There was some movement in and out of the hammerlock, but yeah they are clearly going long. Last three minutes Muraco picks it up with some great midsection work. Double stomp. Standing on him. Bob is great at selling this. Bearhug and as Backlund balls up the fist the ref admonishes him allowing Muraco knee him in the gut. Bob's look at the ref was hilarious. Muraco digs the Asiatic Spike in the midsection as twenty minutes in this contest goes by. Will Backlund make a comeback? Will Muraco break a sweat? Will I be able to stay awake?

Second Twenty Minutes: Muraco is so fucking lazy he invents a new resthold. He literally hugs Backlund's leg for like two minutes. Christ. There was some decent movement in and out of the stomach claw with Backlund not able to capitalize until finally he punches out and boot rake and nice elbow. Then Backlund headscissors. This was brutally boring. Muraco gets out by prying the legs open and making a wish. Decent leg work until the hugging the leg bs. Backlund escapes but Muraco comes down with all his weight on the leg. Escape again, but Backlund cant hold him up and Muraco gets two. They tie each other up. Muraco had a leg hold and Backlund his arm. Can this match be any more boring? Will Muraco come up with any more new restholds? Will Dick Graham fall asleep before me?

Last Fifteen Minutes: You know what this match needed? A fucking Indian Deathlock! Backlund escapes a toehold by smashing Muraco face with the heel of his boot. Muraco lunges for the leg and Backlund hammers Muraco's leg for revenge. Backlund sells leg well and at first the leg work looks good until the Indian Fucking Deathlock. Backlund leans too far back and Muraco rakes the face and gets some nice punches in. There is about ten minutes left, maybe this will heat up. Muraco is up favoring his left leg. Muraco drops him throat first on the top rope setting him up for the Asiatic Spike. He kisses the protected thumb. He nails up, but Backlund is unphased. He Hulks Up! Muraco hits the Asiatic Spike in the corner and Backlund is gasping for breath. So Muraco sticks the thumb in his throat. Yep we needed another hold! Backlund powers up and shoulder tackle. Backlund walks into a phantom Spike and he rolls to outside. Muraco gets him back in and nails a Tombstone to set up the Superfly, but eats knees! It is a draw as Backlud hammers away. NOW THEY BRAWL! This match sucks!

The way they worked was grab a hold, two escapes each ending up back in the original hold and then third time is a charm the other takes over with a new hold. The times in each hold was way too long. Not enough movement. No real story. Just hold->escape->hold->escape->hold->successful escape. Worst Backlund match I have ever seen. Silver lining: it was just a 55 minute draw.