#OccupyMileHigh

What If The Best Man Didnt Win?

Over-exposed. Holier Than Thou. Squeaky Clean. The reasons commonly cited by the masses of American football fans that detest the newest, yet polarizing football SUPERSTAR, Tim Tebow. 

The two reasons I hate Tim Tebow

I am calling poppycock on this. Of course, those reasons feed into the general contempt football's fanbase has for Mr. Tebow, but the real reason people hate Tim Tebow is because they feel his success is undeserved. He was an option quarterback in college with unorthodox throwing mechanics and not to mention that ridiculously stupid-looking jump pass. Yet, Tebow stands tall as a starting professional quarterback with a 7-2 record. Toss in the fact that these victories have miraculous tinges to them only adds to his fluky character. Fans are pissed because it just does not seem fair that someone who clearly seems to suck out loud for three quarters has ended up with  a 7-2 record in the past nine games, which only Aaron Rodgers can claim to top in that time interval. He is like the inverse LeBron. 

This loathing sentiment of undeserved success can be applied to  Tebow's contemporaries such Eli Manning and Mark "Sanchise" Sanchez. Manning, who is not nearly as terrible as the other two from technical point of view, suffers from being the brother of the brilliant Peyton and the way he won the Super Bowl. However, the Sanchise is generally hated by every non-Jets fan. He is a pretty-boy, who is not very good at what he does but has led the Jets to two consecutive AFC Championship Games, not too shabby. Of course, couple Sanchez seemingly lucky ineptitude with the biggest blowhard in the game, Rex Ryan and you have a recipe for some serious heat coming your way. Sporting contests are the last bastions of fairness in a world seemingly polluted by corruption, nepotism and lethargy. However, now fans feel their cherished competitions are now being won by those who are no longer the best at their craft and that gets them fuckin hot under the collar. Which in turn makes them pay the big bucks and/or watch the games to seek out their comeuppance and watch them be ridiculed such as the following SNL skit mocking Tebow. This skit encapsulates this sense of undeserved success that so irks football fans.

The second biggest take home message from #OccupyWallStreet for me is that a significant segment of America's population wants fairness and they do not perceive the current system as fair. (The biggest take-home message is that none of these people have any clue how to remedy the situation and their only plan seems to be to annoy the fuck out of people.) They believe many of America's so-called "1%" did not earn their success therefore much like Mr. Tebow, it is undeserved. It bothers them that an undeserving few continue to lead lavish lifestyles, while proving to be incompetent, yet they toil in obscurity and squalor. People cite it is not what you know, but who you know. This fact people actually believe that demonstrates how extremely jaded and bitter people have become. Just as it bothers football fans across the country that Tebow holds the same record in the last 9 games as Tom Brady. Now a moment of silence for the legitimacy of professional football (I kid, I kid).

The general abhorrence for Tebow and his ilk stems from the same general sentiments that guide the #OccupyWallStreet movement and it has led to football's biggest storyline of the year. Just as this year was dominated by Arab Spring and #OccupyWallStreet, football has become about the unexpected success of Tebow. It even overshadowed the defending Super Bowl Champions Packers' quest for perfection. With each victory, the press coverage grew and like a horrible positive feedback loop it just fed into more and more into the hatred for Tim Tebow. Couple this with his highly-publicized faith (Jesus Christ is like Tebow's Rex Ryan. Coincidentally, I am a big fan of both and they both like to wash feet, weird.) and Tebow is a white-hot, polarizing commodity. Tangentially, given his faith, how the fuck did this not go viral?

While it does not make for excellent football, it makes for excellent TV. Tebow did what, Rodgers could not, what Brady could not and what even the hilarious hysterics of Rex Ryan could not, he hooked me into watching a professional football game this season. I found my own trolling amusing, but it cost me $50 bucks, damn you Tebow. 

Of course the NFL machine is doing just fine without casual fans like me, but they know for the playoffs and the Super Bowl they want BIG storylines and nothing is hotter than Tebow now. I, for one, do not want to see Tebow in there, but I do want one big playoff match just to watch every football fan squirm at the possibility of Mr. Undeserving possibly winning. They will tune in because they want to see Tebow put in his place. I have spent way too much time on this as is but I would be SHOCKED if Tebow's games were not the top 3 highest rated games each week. 

Because it is everyone's worst fear in sports, what if the best man doesnt win? Personally I dont give a fuck, I believe like Tebow, Sanchez and Eli do in the mantra of Al Davis:

LA Raiders now they were fuckin cool.

Just win, baby, win. 

Family Feud: Jarrett Edition

So for most members of the mainstream world there is only one pro wrestling company: WWE. In reality there are many independent promotions sprawled across America. Bigger than these promotions because they are on national cable (Spike TV) and have monthly PPVs is Total Nonstop Action Wrestling (TNA, get it? O the hilarity). It was named by the same guy who thought Hugh G Rection was a good name for a wrestler. (Vince Russo for those wondering).

Usually I am busy on Thursday, but having taken a final this morning and not having another one until Monday. I figured enough about music. Let's sit back, watch some wrestling and write about it.

Already, a good decision because the hot blonde chick is in the front row. That is the first difference between WWE and TNA. WWE tours every week throughout the week. TNA films almost all TV from Universal Studios in Orlando, FL. Therefore there are regulars that attend every show. There is this one hot blonde chick and a wicked hot red-head that populate the front row frequently. My fiery red-head is not in attendance. They are clearly plants to get more males to attend the show, but I dont mind some eye-candy. It is way better than the guy with the dopey, vacuous countenance that me and my brother mock every time we watch the show together.

We kick off the show with a bang. The nefarious TNA World Heavyweight Champion Bobby Roode, the self-proclaimed "Leader of the Selfless Generation" (They dont make monikers like they used to) retained his title over "The Phenomenal" AJ Styles at the PPV by taking a draw. BOOOOOO! The stipulation (TNA likes stips) was the winner was who could accumulate the most decisions (pinfalls/submissions/DQ/countouts) in a 30 minute time span. This is dubbed an Ironman match. So at 3 falls apiece, Roode shrewdly ran out the clock knowing a draw would retain his title.

The booking was hotly debated this week. Many smarks (a portmanteau of smart and mark. A mark is a sap for falls for a con. Smart indicates we are wise to the business.) look down on TNA as bush-league bullshit with poor booking. I agree TNA has ADD booking, but it can be entertaining and exciting. It is a breath of fresh air from the safe, sterile booking of WWE. Many smarks hate inconclusive finishes especially to main events of PPVs, which is sensible you want to see a clean finish for something you pay for. This is Roode's first run with the title and he needs wins over credible babyfaces, but the draw does drag the program out in a clever fashion.

Styles is who I consider the best American wrestler in the world. He is a perfect blend of high-flying, good-psychology and excellent selling. He has the task of making Roode look like a star and nobody could be better for that.

A wonderfully spirited 5-minute match that blows most of WWE out of the water. The chain wrestling was fluid there was some illogical breaks, but it was never dull. Roodes continued the story of trying to milk the clock, which led to a cool spot where AJ cut Roode off at the pass with a bicycle kick from the floor. Apparently, Styles' leg was targeted at the PPV and he re-injured it on a springboard 450 splash. The clock ran out again only for the current Authority Figure of the Month Sting (a rightful knock on TNA is the revolving door of authority figures. I am sick of wrestling authority figures) to make it a fall to the finish.

Summarily, Roode chop-blocked the knee and slapped on a vicious-looking half-crab for the submission victory. They should have just done that on the PPV. Good booking just do it on the PPV. Since they did not bad booking.

Next segment is Mexican Heavyweight Hernandez teaming with a Welsh Bodyguard Robbie T. in a what the announcers tell me is a wildcard tag tourney (partners drawn at random). I didnt hear what the winner of this tourney gets and if this is the first round. I presume it is. SCOTTY STEINER~! (Fellow University of Michigan Alumni). He is tagging with fr-enemy, Abyss, who is deranged, sociopathic monster who wears a mask. Steiner and Abyss used to be on the same team, Immortal, but Abyss kept fucking shit up. So they gave him a hard time, but the big lug has feelings. Now I could have sworn Abyss already beat the shit out of Immortal, but Steiner seemed to convey there was just tension and there was still a chance to make amends.

The match was decent. Steiner snaps off a couple sweet suplexes. Abyss cleaned house. Then feigned attacking Steiner instead tagging him letting him get the pin. Oooooooo SWERVE~! So interested see where this goes next! NOT!!! NEXT!

Kurt Angle, a real Olympic Gold Medalist in wrestling at the 1996 Olympics, is pissed he jobbed to James Storm (Bobby Roode's former partner). So he is out to complain to Sting. Sting says it is time for both them to move on. So Angle threatens to break everyone's legs in Storm's hometown to get him into rematch. I guess that is logical. Extreme, but logical. Good, simple storyline. Angle feels like he is a bigger badass and wants to prove it.

Next up is the X-Division (high-flying crusierweights). Some jabroni, who gets a jobber entrance takes on a guy named Zema Ion. Spot-rest-spot match. The spots were pretty good. Ion was intended to be the star of the match. He pulled up the jobber twice when he had the pinfall in hand before getting a win with a 450 splash off the top. Pulling up a wrestler at a 2-count is usually a death knell. This sign of hubris is usually followed up by loss by the arrogant wrestler. By letting him win, they put over Ion nicely. He could be good, I am keeping my eye on him.

So "Nature Boy:" Ric Flair is in the back hyping everyone's favorite vanilla heel, Gunner. I dont get what they see in this guy. They gave him some big wins over Sting and AJ early then decided to he wasnt ready and he got lost in the shuffle. Then he picked on Eric Bischoff's kid, who is a ref. Bischoff is a wrestling executive, who is very controversial, who's claim to fame is he is the only promoter to topple WWF for a time with his WCW. Flair wants Gunner to take out Jesse Neal because I read the dirt sheets. I know Neal is on his way out because TNA wanted him to go to the minor leagues to refine his skills and he quit. Jesse, swallow your pride because with that mohawk no girl is going to.

Predictably, Gunner drops Neal on his head on exposed concrete. I would have given Gunner the win and then had him take him out. Whatever.

Jeff Hardy (drug-addict) defeated Jeff Jarrett (good Southern veteran). Per stipulation (told you they like stipulations), Sting has the ability to fire either Jarrett or his insufferable, but hot wife, Karen. At first when they are together they both offer to step down for each other. However, when Karen is alone with Sting she throws Jeff under bus and says her position as the head of women's wrestling makes her indispensable where Jeff is just a wrestler. Plus she needs Jeff to watch the kids. Actually some pretty entertaining shit.

Per virtue of winning, Jeff Hardy is the number one contender to Roode's world title. Hardy is now on his 1064th chance to make good with wrestling companies after screwing up his career countless times with drugs. His promo ability sucks, but I cant believe I am going to say this, but thank God here's Bully Ray. I have thought Bully Ray as a member of the Dudleys has been stale for years, but his re-invention of the tough-talking, but cowardly bully has been thoroughly entertaining. They set up the main event tonight and Bully reminds Hardy that after his drug issues earlier this year, Bully took his spot as leader of Immortal. Love the continuity.

So Mike Tenay tells me this tournament is for a tag title shot. What a crock of shit and lazy booking. Here's a clue build-up a few real teams. Samoa Joe, the biggest disappointment of wrestling, a heavyweight that moves likes a crusierweight with impactful moves of a Japanese wrestler is teaming up with a smooth-talking Brit, Brutus Magnus. Due to inconsistent booking, Joe has grown lazy, but in this match against Robbie E. and Douglas William (great a British technician) he showed flashes of why he used to be the biggest potential star. Joe and Brtutus picked up the win.

Jeff Jarrett with Sting and he figures it is a foregone conclusion his wife is going home. He asks Sting to let her down gently after all she wants to be home with the kids.  Best backstage segments of the night so far.

Eric Young is a rambling dope that is very hit and miss with me. He is teaming with ODB, a nasty, filthy woman not in a sexy way like Ke$ha in like a trailer trash way. EWWWY

Ok, remember how I was entertained about Bully Ray's reinvention, well his partner, Devon has nothing, but boring and he is dragging the biggest potential superstar in wrestling with him: Pope D'Angelo Dinero. Ok, not entirely his fault, TNA soured on the Pope at beginning of the year. I dont know why because he can talk like very few can. The angle here is take on the famous Raven-Sandman angle where Raven turned the Sandman's family against him. The angle finally culminated after months with the Pope claiming to have sexual relations with Devon's wife and then Devon's kids joined in a beatdown against their father. Good angle, I just wish someone besides Devon was in it.

Jeff and Karen re-convene and outright lie to each other. Karen sayin that Jeff is irreplaceable and she needs to be at home with the kids. While Jeff says that Karen is the true star and he should be at home with the kids. I am loving this.

Woman;s match between Madison Rayne and Traci Brooks. Neither wrestles well. Traci has the worst DD-boob. They are so oddly shaped. Madison is absolutely smoking and that is my analysis for this match. Lots of hair-pulling and choking and throaty screaming. Madison Rayne rocking booty shorts reminiscent of "Mr. Ass" Billy Gunn, NOT a turn-on.

So Sting turns Jarrett and Karen on each other by ACTUALLY using the film from the show. HOLY SHIT!!! You dont know how many backstabbings could have been prevented if wrestlers actually watched their own show. Jeff is pissed at "1000 Jeff Jarrett's" line and Karen gets bitchy at "Women dont belong in wrestling" line. So Sting gets tired of their incessant bickering and fires the both of them. I like Jarrett, but that was good television.

Main event time. This is starting at 10:58, not going to get much time. This was pretty much the same main event I saw at the TNA house show back in early November in Toldeo (which was the worst live show I have ever attended). Bully went right to the heat segment on Hardy, he sold for like two minutes. Then Hardy made his comback and won with a Twist of Fate. Roode was on commentary scouting Hardy. He charged the ring after to get an advantage on Hardy. This leads to a double-team and Roode introduces a table to the ring. This leads to Bully Ray putting Hardy through a table. Sting tries to make the save, but is double-teamed.

The show peaked at the beginning. The tag matches were silly and inconsequential. They finally moved the Pope story along, but I dont give a shit about Devon. Jeff and Karen were fun and entertaining, but it ruins the momentum of the women's division as Karen did not get her comeuppance at the hands of the babyface women. Hardy/Roode is as good as program. Hardy is one of their bigger stars and Roodes needs the wins. Decent show, just as good as an average RAW.

URGENT!

Hey yo my fellow Children of the Beast,

So Chief Explorer Rick “Have Fun” Snyder’s twitter handle is @onetoughnerd. I am glad even General Studies majors nature are reveling in nerd culture. Governor Snyder is clearly just living up to what he exhorted all Michigan graduates to do: “be proud of your size”. (True to form this one tough nerd, had no idea why everyone in the audience was snickering when he said that direct quote not once but twice.)

Caution: If it is a fake account it is bereft of any humor and seems to serve as dissemination aid about Snyder’s achievements and whereabouts.  

If I remember one other thing from that ennui-inducing speech is that Rick Snyder strove to have fuckin fun in every venture he undertook. Whether it was being a bidnessman, a hubby, a daddy, an explorer of American culture or the Governor of Michigan he was going to have some GODDAMN fun along the way. Taking a page of the good governor’s book, I had me some fun these past days while grading and studying for exams by listening to a ton of music. 

What I love about albums from the 70’s and 80’s is that the albums are just 35-45 minutes. Every single minute of the album matters and is a consequential part of the album’s success. The one word I would use to describe these albums is “Urgent”. I think that is what music is missing nowadays with these hour long albums chocked with filler. Of course there are some exceptions, but everything sounds diluted because of the saturation. When you listen to bands from the early era whether it was punk or metal, there was a urgency to their music that hooked the listener with the feeling “this music needed to be heard now”. 

So here are some short reviews of some of the best albums I listened to over the past week.

70’s Hard Rock/Power Pop/Punkish

Heaven Tonight – Cheap Trick: Dark humor, fast rock n roll riffs with huge melodic choruses and harmonized back-up vocals. They play fast and loose like a punk band, but their sense of melody never lets the slip into a cacophony. Zander is too pretty in looks and sound to be a herald of anarchy. He sounds great singing catchy, hooky songs that are deeper than they appear. Their dark/strange humor explored on mega-hit, Surrender, Auf Wiedershen, and Stiff Competition. “California Man” is a kick-ass cover that is a great party song.  The eerie moody piece “Heaven Tonight” displays Cheap Trick’s darkest sides. The guitar work from Nielsen is chock full of riffs anchored by a rhythm section that sounds urgent. They need to get this album out and feels hungry. Cheap Trick would finally breakthrough in February 1979 with the live album, At Budokan like so many contemporaneous bands.

Thrash/Speed Metal

Kill ‘Em All – Metallica. I had always avoided Metallica’s first release because I don’t care for music with poor production values. However, I have mellowed on this stance. I had always loved the song, “Seek And Destroy”, with a great hook in that bridging riff. I first listened to the whole album a couple months ago and liked it. I added “Four Horsemen” and “No Remorse” to the rotation. It took this past spin for me to really realize how much of a tour de force this album is. I don’t how much of this is my own mellowing, but the album is well-produced and affords them the raw sound they were aspiring to. Unlike Megadeth’s dreadfully produced “Killing is My Business…And Business Is Good”, where only the title track is salvageable. “Whiplash” is incredibly cheesy without a hint of irony, but incredibly endearing because the lyrics describes exactly what I do when I hear the song “You’re thrashing all around. Acting like a maniac” (short Bass interlude) “WHIPLASH” COMMENCE HEAD-BANGING!

Beyond Magnetic –Metallica.  From Metallica’s first offering to their latest, this is an EP of the songs that didn’t make the cut from the enjoyable Death Magnetic.  A lot of fans are viewing this as a make-good for the atrocity known as Loutallica (Lou Reed & Metallica’s collaboration album, Lulu, good joke from my brother “Lulu sells…But Who’s Buying?”). The official reasoning is this is conjunction with Metallica’s star-studded 30^th Birthday celebration(Four days of kick-ass metal!). Anyways, there is a reason these songs didn’t make the album. They didn’t fit the mold of the renewed thrash effort that Death Magnetic represented and fit their 90’s catalog better. They are decent songs. I will give them one more shot, but I am not expecting much. I am a sucker for songs with “Train” in the title because it almost guarantees a sweet, chugging rhythm section. “Hate Train” was indeed my favorite of the four. Why does Lars’ drum sound on every album besides Ride The Lightning  and the Black Album absolutely suck? Yeah I love Master a lot, but the one thing that bothered me was Lars’ goddamn hollow drum sound. 

Thirteen – Megadeth. Ellefson is back and this album kicks ass. Merging the speed rhythm beds from Endgame and Rust in Peace with the melodic nature of Countdown to Extinction, this album boasts Mega-Dave’s most complete offering of rifftastic heavy metal since Countdown.  Endgame was the better thrash album and Youthansia was the better melodic album. This one is a more complete take on Megadeth’s two styles while being so totally Dave. The first single, “Public Enemy No. 1” features a galloping NWOBHM riff paired with Dave’s signature sneer and had me salivating for the rest of the album. “Whose Life is This Anyway?” and “Never Dead” are the thrashy songs of collection with double-bass attacks and heavy riffs.  “Black Swan” comes in as a speeding, yet melodically dark song about a shade haunting Mustaine.  “Sudden Death” is a great slab of metal that best highlight the killer solos this album offer. If you love riff-heavy music with bitchin’ flashy, speedy solos then pick up this burner. 

70’s Punk

Nevermind the Bollocks…It’s The Sex Pistols I first listened to this album at the beginning of college and threw in the discard heap due to the snarky, nihilist message, Rotten’s vocals, and its tinniest sound. However, after loving the Crue’s cover of the punk anthem “Anarchy in the UK” and most recently Vince Neil covering my favorite Pistols’ song “No Feelings”, an anthem for extreme self-lovers like myself. I went back and heard a totally different album. After listening to the Dolls, Stooges and Bowie, you can hear how talented Jones is. Matlock and him totally hold this Ode to Chaos with great glam-noise riffs. I derive more pleasure from Rotten’s urgent delivery that is filled with the sneer of sleaze rock. I still think “Anarchy in the UK” sounds tinny and could have used the wall of guitar sound that “Holiday in the Sun” and “No Feelings” benefit from.  The glammy gang-shouts of “No Future”, “Problem” and “So pretty” lend the album a catchy feeling that created a cult following.

Sleaze Metal/Rock

Tattooed-Beat Messiah –Zodiac Mindwarp & the Love Reaction. My new favorite album, it is like someone said let’s make an album where every song features everything Martin Fuckin Cuddy loves about hard rock and heavy metal. Absurdly sexual lyrics “Your lipstick flickers on my lightning rod” Check. Wonderfully sleazy sneer soaked in motor oil with a smart-ass strut. Check. Pseudo-Messianic Complex. Check. All choruses being mult-tracked lending to a huge sound. Check. Gang-shouts. Check. Fast, noisy, glammy riffs. Check. Bitchin, flashy solos. Check. Drums with gigantic reverb. Check. Big, clear bass to fill in. Check. Zodiac Mindwarp is right up there with Faster Pussycat and Vain as the best sleaze band of all time. “Prime Mover” is KISS on steroids. “Planet Girl” is Marc Boaln & T-Rex if they were a glam metal band. “Tattoo-Beat Messiah” is a sleazy, gutter anthem. “Backseat Education” fucking kicks so much ass, I don’t want to review it just go listen!

I know I still owe the top nine most BITCHIN glam metal albums of all time. I pinky swear I will finish them over break.

Until then “Horizontal Hold//Get YOUR LEGS IN THE AIR!!!”  

    

Nevermind the Nihilism: I Like The Sex Pistols

WARNING: Do not feed this ego.

Didnt your mommy tell you?

I have no feelings. No feelings. No feelings. NO FEELINGS! No feelings for anybody else. Except for myself. My beautiful self.

"No Feelings" by Sex Pistols was the one exception to my general loathing of Sex Pistols. Johnny Rotten's harsh vocal delivery, the clatter of music and just everything about Sid Vicious (the punk not the wrestler) all sent me running back to heavy metal. It was the nihilist attitude more than anything else that irked me. After all, as a person who seeks recognition and adulation for achievements with the childhood dream of being immortalized in "A History of the Modern World" by R.R. Palmer and Joel Colton, nihilism stands in stark opposition to who I am. 

For the record, the fact that the Sex Pistols were a meticulously, artificially produced brand of revolution never bothered me. People measure their words and put thought into their image. This whole corporate branding of rock revolution thing that Kurt Cobain peddled was petulant. Sex Pistols are the best boy band in the world and the joke is on you, Cobain. 

No Feelings was my anthem. The gutter-glam guitars, the energetic, quick burst of words that characterized the vocal delivery, the chants of No Feelings, it was like Chuck Berry and Sweet were dragged through the sewer and given a bad attitude. The song captures the essence of who I am. It is not that I am ice cold and have no feelings whatsoever. I just have "No Feelings" for anybody else, why would I? Just ask my family, I have been entertaining myself in my backyard with my fantasies since they can remember. Amusing myself with my own musings is my bidness and bidness is gooooooooooooooood.

Then a funny thing happened. I was watching the Carnival of Sins tour on TV with my brother. Motley Crue ended with an energetic number that I had heard before, but I couldnt place. I heard the huge chorus-call of "I WANNA BE ANARCHY!". I was like I remember hating this song, but this cover kicks ass.

Dont bother with the Megadeth version (way too tight), Motley Crue's version features bigger production and makes this an anthem for the ages while retaining the noisy, glammy sound. Motley Crue's early trademark was noisy, glam metal so they were the perfect to enhance this song.

I believe Vince Neil was born to do three things. Crash his car. Sing in Motley Crue. Sing Sweet, Cheap Trick and Sex Pistols covers. He is just really good at singing metal versions of the songs from those bands. His version of "No Feelings" rejuvenated my dormant love for that song. This provided the impetus for me to return to the seminal punk record, "Nevermind the Bollocks: It is the Sex Pistols"

I liked it. It was like when Mikey liked Life Cereal for the first time. I really liked it. 

Years of listening to horrible sleaze and thrash vocals have mellowed me on Johnny Rotten's vocals. I found myself really digging the polished noise-glam guitars from Steve Jones. "Holiday in the Sun" features a buzzsaw, glam punk riff reminiscent of the New York Dolls that complements Rotten's snark. The repeated chants of "Pretty" on "Pretty Vacant", "No Future" on "God Save The Queen" and "Problems" on "Problem" are great hooks. Steve Jones was too talented to be a punk guitarist and it is displayed all over this album. His main riff on Anarchy in the UK overshadows what should be the greatest chorus of all-time. Partly because of production values on the vocals on that song (they should have went with a gang-shout), but also because that simple, noise riff kicks so much ass.

The Sex Pistols musically were not a punk band. The Ramones were the sound of punk. The Clash was the intelligence and versatility of punk. Sex Pistols were a noisy glam rock band that did not play their instruments as well as the guys in David Bowie and Sweet. Sex Pistols were the attitude of punk. Attitude is more critical than music. 

The Sex Pistols never reached the level of savage chaos or the vicious snark of New York Dolls. For me, The Stooges' "Raw Power" is the soundtrack to ANARCHY! But that is ok because I dont like actual danger. I prefer the simulated stuff and Sex Pistols" "Nevermind the Bollocks" is a better record than "Raw Power", but not quite as good as the New York Dolls' eponymous debut.  All three are the standout albums of glam punk movement.

Now if you excuse me, I am going to take Dinah's pretty face to Hell with me. Hail Satan! Whoops, wrong genre. I mean, I WANNA BE ANARCHY!

I miss Charlie Sheen

What's edgy?

Tim Tebow. Yep.

LeBron James and the Bad Guys of South Beach need to return now.


My brother incessantly pushes Tebow down my throat. He is a Gators fan. But, Martin you and your family are from Boston. Little known fact amongst my Michigan friends, I have been a huge Michigan fan since 1997. I have always liked teams that win me money. I won $10 on their Rose Bowl victory over Ryan Leaf and Wazzu, I was like 8 years old. Though it was the first and only time I have won squares, won the first quarter. Anyways, point is I liked Michigan since I was a kid and my brother likes Florida. My brother has better taste.

I was thinking of troll-liking Tebow, but Rex Ryan beckons to times of yore when decorum was checked at the door (Edgar Allan Poe, I got you in my cross-hairs) and Rob Ryan has BITCHIN hair. But I cant even bring myself to perform that troll. It lies somewhere between pronouncing your love for dubstep (the ultimate troll) and making other people watch the Food Network with you (wait, they are not trolling me, I still dont think I fully understand this trolling thing).

Callin Bullshit. "Nature Boy" Ric Flair's shoes cost more than your house. Killer Mike knows what is up.

O yeah, that incredibly distasteful Rick Perry video is pretty controversial. It is not really unexpected, his base cheered the killing of hundreds on death row (bit biased I am arch pro-life and yes that means anti-death penalty) and booed an American solider who served in Iraq because he was gay. These GOP conventions have me questioning whether I should bother saving this world.

This is not a political blog. However, I love a good troll and some satire. So as sure as "Tebow is the Win made flesh" (all credit goes to Luke Mullan on that gem), the mock videos hit the web. The first and most prominently displayed on my friend's newsfeed follows:

That is a steaming pile of shit. Seriously THAT is the best they got. Ooooooo they called out the power of prayer and mocked God. It is 2011, bro, you seriously need to update your material. You have to go after the artificial, contrived nature of the video. He reacted to a generalized situation with generalizations. The best trolls happen as a function of the situation. If it was not for the jacket and the presentation, that could just be some pencil-neck geek doing a hack-job on a George Carlin bit. Thank God for Stephen Colbert.

Now unsurprisingly, this video is a big hit. Sadly, I think this is just representative of a culture that is complacent with the mediocre and the cookie-cutter. The content of this video spewed every trite barb in the book and thus presented the bare minimum. Of course, if they did something edgy they risked alienating the some people. I mean this is a relative slam dunk. So why fuck it up? Because the one-handed windmill looks so much cooler than the safe two-handed dunk.Well color me unimpressed.

Mick Mars once answered "Clear" to question of what his favorite color is. Colo me impressed.

I still need the appeal of the Food Network explained to me. While you are at it can you explain Lil Wayne to me?

I miss Charlie Sheen.