The Final Letter of Martin to the Haters and Hypocrites:
For LeBron so loved the world he chose Friendship and Love over all
other material possessions, those who embrace LeBron shall find Love
everlasting. In his Decision, he sought to prove the supposed axiom,
"Love Conquers All". His Redemption will be our Salvation.
Go Heat, I say to you, a Victory for the Heat is a Victory for Love.
In the name of Bron Bron, D-Wade, and the Holy Bosh, GO HEAT!
P.S. I think somebody was reading my epistles.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
The Second Letter of Martin to the Haters and Hypocrites:
In this dark hour of despair, as the forces of Petty Selfishness and Hypocrisy beam with smug satisfaction upon the very precipice of victory, I stand before you, defiant and with but two words on my lips: Go Heat! Go Heat, I say to you, because whilst you adore a False Truth, I have found peace in the Loving Embrace of the Miami Heat. A solace born not as the progeny of Destiny, rather that of Free Will. Love is not bought. Love is not won. Love is not born of Destiny. Love is the progeny of Free Will and the Heat are Love.
The Heat are born of the Decision and in this exercise of Free Will they became Love Incarnate.
An Embrace of Love
In his boundless benevolence, LeBron cast aside the societal fetters of the False Truth seeking Love and Self-Improvement. A False Truth that has driven many a city mad with Vainglorious, Carnal Lust for Championships. Boston, where the False Truth has mostly deeply ensnared the population, has been ravaged by the ills of the False Truth: Paranoia, Insecurity, Hypocrisy and Insatiable Lust. Adoration of the False Truth forfeits the exercise of Free Will chaining those believers to a self-perpetuating cycle of Emptiness.
The Heat, free of this cumbersome burden, will triumph in Love and in the name of Free Will.
Blessed: The Haters and Hypocrites point to the Legends of Yesteryear: Magic, Bird and Jordan having won Championships on their "own accord" to rationalize their Petty Selfishness and Hypocrisy. There is nary a mention of fellow Legends: Kareem, McHale, or Pippen. Yet, the King in Cleveland had at his disposal Four Court Jesters!
We All Bear Witness some with Eyes of Love others with the shutters of Hypocrisy.
We All Bore Witness to the Petty Selfishness from Cleveland, the Land of Judas and His Progeny. With but Four Court Jesters, King James was tethered from achieving grandeur. The Land of Judas did not Love LeBron. I have looked into the eyes of Clevelanders and I have seen how they LUSTED. He was an animal, an ass to be ridden to a Championship, they do not love, but are ensnared by the False Truth. When that ass became the Man filled with Free Will, they unleashed Hateful, Petty Invective.
I beseech them to fill their hearts with Love and realize the Decision was best for their Prodigal Son.
The Hypocrites cried out in unison, "He is King Nothing without a Championship!" LeBron brayed for help in his quest, but was denied repeatedly. Thus LeBron made the Decision to throw off the fetters and Embrace Love. Hence the Hypocrites cried out, "But this is not the way you are supposed to win!" Tonight, a Man, no longer a tethered ass, stands at the crossroads. He is afforded a choice, that no one else has, the choice to be better than everyone else. Tonight, he has NO obligation to petulant admirers, to the Undevoted, to the Haters, who place audacious qualifications upon his victory. LeBron will choose, as he always has, Love. In the Effusive Love of LeBron, the False Truth will be destroyed.
Go Heat, I say to you, a Victory for the Heat is a Victory for Love.
In The Name of Bron Bron, D-Wade, the Holy Bosh,
Go Heat!
So the Macho Man had turned into a big softie and everything was all unicorns,
rainbows and leather-clad midgets brandishing whips. Wait that is not
everybody’s fantasy. Needs more Ke$ha. Amen, girlfriend.
Elizabeth accepted the Macho Man’s wedding proposal with the worst “Ooooooo
Yeah!” ever and the lovey-dovey couple was set to be married at Summerslam 1991
in the Match Made In Heaven, get it. It would not be a wrestling wedding, unless
so one was there to wreak some havoc. Jake the Snake and his buddy The
Undertaker were on hand to do just that. Ya see, The Snake thought it would be
a good idea to give Liz a real live King Cobra as a wedding gift. What woman
doesn’t want a big snake? Smirks.
Roberts and Taker blindside Savage and beat him to a pulp. Roberts fearing no
repercussion because Savage has been forcefully retired torments Savage with a
promos about him being a man that is not able to protect his woman. Them’s
fighting words. So when Savage came marching to the ring, Roberts got Savage
tangled in the ropes and then had the King Cobra bite him on the arm. Now
obviously in real life, the snake was de-venomed, but also in real life the
snake bit Savage for too long and cause deep puncture wounds and visible
bleeding. In a funny story, the snake died a couple days later causing Savage
to joke that Macho is venom for snakes. Yes people. Randy Savage Kills Snakes
Dead.
So after pleading and tons of fans request, the Macho Man
was reinstated for a PPV in December of 1991 called Tuesday In Texas to face
Jake “The Snake” Roberts”.
“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Jake “The Snake” Roberts.
Macho Man attacks Jake the Snake in aisleway with a hat that
just screams. That is it. It just screams.
You dont get the full effect of the hat.
This is an out and out fight, not a
wrestling match. This is what the
Savage/Hogan should have been. All
Savage, but the ref tries to hold back Savage, Roberts takes the advantage.
Savage’s arm has been bandaged due to the snake attack and The Snake works it
over mercilessly. The Brain reminds us
that Jakes is The Devil himself. Macho sells like he has only one arm. The
Brain lists the chores that Macho Man could have done at home instead of taking
this match. The Snake rips off the bandage like a prick and goes to the
hammerlock. Roberts telegraphs a back body drop and misses a short-arm
clothesline. Savage charges and eats a knee and disappointing the crowd. Jake
connects with his short-arm clothesline and signals for the DDT to a chorus of
boo’s. The Brain remarks that “Liz probably wishes she had married Jake” and
that gets an “O will you stop it.”
Savage rams Jake into the corner on a DDT attempt, he still has life. Big Elbow
finishes it for Savage in a very spirited brawl. The after-match shenanigans
are a great piece of wrestling theater. As Savage looks to inflict more
punishment with a chair, but the ring announcer pulls it away. SO he gets his
trusty ring bell, the same bell the he used to crushed Steamboat’s larynx.
MACHO MADNESS IS BACK!!! The ref tries to stop Randy and that gives Jake the
opportunity to DDT Savage. Savage struggles to get up and eats another DDT,
which Savage is out cold. Jake slithers out of the ring and he pulls under the
ring, the bag that contains the SNAKE~! Here comes Liz running out to cover
Randy’s body with her own. Jake berates her telling her to beg for his life and
asking do you really love him. Stop it, she says, stop it. All the while Jake
tease breaking out the snake and Jakes says “Say please”, she obliges and he
obliges with a 3rd DDT and Savage is finished. Beautiful theater,
the match is short, but heated and intense. **** for the whole thing.
This video is from Survivor Series 1991 and shows the Screamin Hat in Full Effect.
Savage may have won the match, but it was certainly a Pyrrhic victory, which
means there needs to be a blowoff match. Thus they would have a contest at the
January 1992 version of Saturday’s Night Main Event.
“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Jake “The Snake” Roberts
January 1992 Saturday Night’s Main Event
Vince is oddly excited talking about Liz
begging for Savage’s health. This video has Savage’s pre-match promo, which is
one of his best as he describes the pain and feeling of helplessness the
Snakeman has put him through. Savage rushes in and Roberts powders. Savage
right out after him sends him into post and tries to tear his face off
repeatedly. Here comes the furniture and he chokes Roberts with his boots and
the ref has lost control of this melee. An elbow across the Snake’s throat on
the apron, Jake bleeds from the nose the hardway I reckon and it is all Macho
Man.
Savage jabs in the corner and keeps tearing at his nose. Jake sends Macho over the top rope and he
just comes right back in on the offense. The Macho Man will not be denied.
Roberts throws him back over the top rope and Jake takes Savage into the post twice.
The second time was unprotected, damn. Savage’s double axe-handle is blocked
with a shot to gut and a flash DDT knocks Macho Man unconscious, but Jake’s
appetite is not satiated. After a minute, Savage is up and here comes the
short-arm clothesline. Jake the Snake taunts the fans and signals for the
second DDT. The DDT attempt is blocked with a desperation of back body drop.
Savage has the wherewithal to hit Roberts with a double axe-handle onto the
floor driving The Snake’s throat into the guardrail. Savage takes this
opportunity to hit the BIG ELBOW and pick up the victory. Refs flood the ring
so Savage jumps into their mob and they disperse; he hits another BIG ELBOWS.
The refs stop him from driving the ring bell across the throat. Liz jogs down in
heels and embraces Savage to blow off
the feud.
This was the beginning of the babyface Savage formula of the 90’s. Start off
red-hot, take heat for most of the match then hit two moves for the win. This
is the very good version of the formula because Jake the Snake is such an
effective heel. I am going a tad lower on the rating because I think Jake
desereved more comeuppance than just two elbows. ***1/2
We have one more installment before my tribute to the Macho Man is done and it is
my favorite Savage title victory…
Sick as a dog, but the show must go on. My sister is back on American soil and
she still speaks English. WAHOO~!
So we have seen the progression of the Macho Man character. This is a key distinction
in the wrestling world where there are one-dimensional gimmicks and very realistic
characters. Some of the greatest wrestling draws were simple gimmicks. The Road
Warriors are arguably the greatest tag team of all-time, but they have the
character depth of a puddle. Even Hogan needed a heel reinvention in 1996 to
finally become a character rather than a gimmick. Randy Savage was a character
with tragic flaws of paranoia and jealous that drove him to fits of rage.
Savage was a good guy at heart, but sometimes his emotions just got the best of
him and that would turn him heel. After, the Wrestlemania V loss, Savage
decided to make a clean break with the past. He dropped the lovely, but meek
Elizabeth in favor of the physically capable, sadistic Sensational Sherri, who
added a dynamic presence to his act. He dropped the short trunks for long
tights. After years of observing and
being told Elizabeth was his greatest weakness, he made the conscious choice to
choose the exact opposite female, but still a female, after all he did just
have the biggest break-up of his career and you always want to make the ex
jealous. The sequined robes and animal-print headbands were turned in for his
trademark psychedelic space cowboy outfit. He even changed his nickname from
Macho Man to Macho King after defeating “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan for the right to
call himself the King of the WWF.
The Macho King and the Sensational Queen
Everything fit into the new character dynamic that after a year of trying to
dethrone Hulk Hogan as the WWF World Champ and with the Ultimate Warrior being
the anointed successor, he leveraged the Macho King title to delude himself
into a fantasy of grandeur where he was the number one wrestler in the company.
The
Macho King and the Sensational Queen would be carried to the ring by jabronis
and he feuded with “common man” wrestlers such as “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan
(HOOOOOOOOOO! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!) and the newly arrived, polka-dot wearing “American
Dream” Dusty Rhodes. Why did he pick on these targets? Savage wanted to prove
he was extraordinary not among the common class. It is evident by who he dressed,
how he talked, who he hung out with and who he fought. Savage had gone from the
supremely talented, but insecure young talent trying to talk and cheat his way
to the top. Savage let his guard down in late 1987 and allowed Hulk Hogan to befriend
him and cement his status as main event start. The paranoia that comes with the
title and his over-protection of Elizabeth caused the Megapowers to burn. So he
became insular, but as ex-World Champion, he became even more arrogant in his dealings.
In late 1990, Ultimate Warrior had been passed the torch and World title from
Hogan at Wrestlemania VI, but was tanking as a draw. Savage tried to step up as
a challenger, but was ducked in favor of heel Sgt. Slaughter. Sgt. Slaughter was
an ex-Marine, but was turned heel as an Iraqi sympathizer at the height of the Gulf
War, yep not one of the most tasteful WWF storylines. Savage got Warrior’s
attention by costing him the belt against Slaughter. So it was setup a double
main event for Wrestlemania VII: Hogan vs Slaughter for the title and WOYAH~! Vs
Macho King in a career vs career match.
RAGE!
It all came down to this match, Savage and Warrior, whoever lost would be forced
to retire. Savage could attain that moment forever immortalize him by taking the
career of newly anointed Ultimate Warrior. On the flip side, Warrior could
prove all the doubters and haters wrong by taking down the second greatest WWF
superstar of all time up to that point.
A word on the Ultimate Warrior, he made Randy Savage look
like a mild-mannered, even-tempered dude. Yep, he was that Looney Tunes. He
talked to his hands and fuck it… watch this video:
Convinced? I thought so.
“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs The Ultimate
Warrior – Career vs Career
Wrestlemania VII
Bobby The Brain spots Liz in the crowd before the match and posits she is here
to watch Savage lose and rub it in. This gets a trademark, “O will you stop”
from Gorilla. The Macho King and his Sensational Queen are carried to the ring
by some jabronies. Warrior walks to the ring, instead sprinting. Thank God, one
of the reasons for his poor conditioning in matches was that he blow up due to
sprinting. Warrior is decked out with
Savage and Warrior’s face airbrushed on each of his knee-pads. His tights
declare that “This [match] means more than this [WWF World Title]”. Cant say it
much better myself.
Warrior is very stoic, while Savage is tweaking out, the crowd is firmly behind
Warrior, but there are Savage fans in attendance. Warrior establishes he is the
more powerful of the two by winning a lock-up. Savage attempts some early
cheating, but that doesn’t phase the WOYAH~! Warrior hits a clothesline, double
goozle, two atomic drops, and a final double goozle sends Savage crashing into
Sherri. Well it seems like the Macho King is going to have to change his
strategy. Savage gets tangled in the
ropes and Warrior goes to work in a match of this magnitude you have to take
every advantage you get. When Warrior telegraphs a back body drop, Savage
finally gets some offense in with a sitout clothesline. He tries to complete
the combination with cross-body off the top, but Warrior catches him mid-air.
BUT, he sets him down and paintbrushes him. TORCHED~!
Savage takes a walk and throws a chair in the ring. This is enough distraction
to blindside the Warrior, but Warrior still levels him. None of the Macho Man’s
usual tricks seem to be working. It turns out it was not a trick to get him the
advantage it was Warrior’s overzealousness. Warrior charges into the corner and
Macho moves at the last second sending Warrior to crash and burn over the top.
Here we go, Sherri, take it to him. Sherri gets in more offense than Savage has
at this point with throat thrust, double axe-handle, knee-lift and an eye-rake.
This buys Savage some time to recover and then capitalize on his newfound
advantage by sending the Warrior into the steel ring post. YOU CAN’T HURT
STEEL!!! Here come the Warrior chants, chant all you want, but doesn’t change
the fact that your boy is a fuckin nutjob. The
ususal bodyslam/kneedrop combination gets two, but gives Savage the
psychological advantage of the first close pinfall. Backslide spot, but Warrior
wins for a two count, so much for that advantage.
Both men stand up and stare at each other so Savage, being a defiant prick,
spits at him. In a strange spot, Warrior tries to hit a flying shoulderblock on
a kneeling Savage only to miss. Savage regains the advantage with a chinlock in
the first stoppage of action in this fast-paced match. Sherri is so fuckin
loud. Double clothesline and both men are down.
Sherri desperately tries to revive her meal ticket, the Macho King, but
then does the next best thing distracts the ref while Warrior has him in a
small package. A frustrated Warrior takes the ref to task, but that is when
Savage blindsides him with his textbook high-knee. Savage holds Warrior in
place to take a spiking from Sherri as she ascends the top, but Sherri connects
with her high-heel onto Savage. If this was WCW, Savage would have been blinded
for a couple months.
Warrior goes after Sherri, which gives Savage a chance to roll-up him for two
and then drives his throat into the top rope as Savage slingshots himself over.
Wicked clothesline to the back of the head by Savage gets two. Savage in complete command knows what he must
do. He hits not just one, not just two, not just Three, not just FOUR, BUT FIVE
BIG ELBOWS OFF THE TOP onto the prone Warrior, a lesser man would just expired
from this world after four and Hogan would have hulked-up after one. Too easy,
too easy.
Warrior doesn’t kick out, but barely lifts his shoulder up at two, whipping the
crowd into a frenzy. Hogan would have pressed Savage off and no-sold the whole
thing. Hogan sucks. Savage’s wide-eyed expression at the Warrior’s kick-out is
worth everything. It is a mixture of frustration, shock and fear. Fear that he
may not be able to win this match. Savage pounds away on the Warrior, but to no
avail as WARRIOR begins to do his rope-shake, we all know what is coming. Three
clotheslines, the press slam and now the Warrior splash. He turns Savage over
and he kicks out. HOLY SHIT! What a false finish.
Warrior looks down to his hands and then up to the Heavens wondering what he
has to do put the Macho King away. Gorilla tries his best to narrate this
melodramatic mid-match crisis. Warrior believes this Divine Providence that he
is no longer fit to wrestle (I never thought he was that fit anyway) and begins
to walk away as the ref pleads with him to reconsider because it will cost him
his career. After all this, Savage forces his hand by walloping Warrior and
Warrior is out. Sherri hold Warrior in place draped over the guard-rail as
Savage ascends his perch looking to hit his double axe-handle onto the outside.
However, this time, Warrior shoves Sherri off and Savage crashes and burns
chin-first onto the guardrail.
Warrior stands Savage up in the middle of the ring, but he is out on his feet.
Flying shoulderblock sends Savage flying out of the ring. Two more of these and
Warrior puts his foot on Savage’s chest and the ref counts 1-2-3.
You won’t find many more dramatic matches in the history of wrestling. This is
essentially now the blueprint of every Wrestlemania main event. Hit people with
your finishers, but they still kick-out and then you have to hit the
super-finisher to pick up the win. What I love about this match is that neither
man really wins the match. Each time, they got an advantage it was become
another’s mistake, it told the tale of two evenly-matched wrestlers. But wait
there is more…
Sherri is pissed, I mean ripshit, that Savage lost. She begins kicking him
while he is down and berating him. Liz cant stand to see anymore and hops the
barricade. (Swarm! Swarm! Swarm! Whoops, she is part of the act.) Liz in her first physical moment takes Sherri by the hair and throws her out of
the ring. To say the crowd is going wild at this point is an understatement.
Remember, Savage and Liz have been separated for exactly two years. When Savage
gets up, he almost decks her because he doesn’t realize who is behind him. He
teases being pissed at seeing her and the whole crowd just wants that embrace.
When they embrace it is not so much a pop, but an extended cheer of joy and a
standing ovation. Then Savage hoists her up on his shoulder in one of the most
iconic shots in wrestling. The camera pans to all the women crying and even I
am moved each time I see this segment. Savage was such an effective bad guy,
none of the fans ever wanted to see him go. There it was all these emotions of
Savage losing his career, Liz saving him and their reunion, a perfect
confluence of wrestling theater. As Liz goes to hold the ropes for Randy, he
waves her off and in a true showing of class, holds the ropes for her. This
sends the crowd and me into a whole new tizzy. ***** for the whole thing, you
can’t beat this shit. May favorite Savage match/moment all wrapped into one.
Macho Madness Lives Forever in this moment.
Here I am rooting for a Celtics/Heat Eastern Conference finals so that my
family can have our own version of the Mega-Powers EXPLODE~! Alas, I am not
even sure the Heat will make it anymore. Ugh.
So where we left off Steambot has just picked up the I-C title from Savage at
Wrestlemania III. The Steamer couldn’t handle the grind of the WWF schedule so
they had him drop the title to the inept Honky Tonk Man, who embarked on a
record-setting 14 month run with the title. Wrestling fans have verbed his name
to mean retaining your title by cheap, inept tactics. Thus drawing the ire of
the fans because they don’t believe you deserve the belt. It is the ultimate
form of cheap heat. It goes without saying that Honky Tonk Man was a heel, but
Savage was a heel. What to do? What to do?
Well at a Saturday’s Night Main Event, Macho Man challenged Honky Tonk Man for
the I-C belt, but post-match was attacked by his flunkies, the Hart Foundation
(Bret “The Hitman” Hart and Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart) and their manager “The
Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart. So Liz did the sensible thing and went in
swinging with a steel chair. Nah, that was a funny mental image though. She
went to the back and got the WWF World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan, who
saved Savage. Thus the MEGA-POWERS WERE BORN!!!
The first match I will review is from the next SNME, where Savage takes on Bret
“The Hitman” Hart. McMahon saw something special in Hart and his brilliant
execution and he wanted to see if he could hang with the best talent. For
Savage, it would be a chance to show off his athleticism and establish himself
as the No. 2 babyface behind Hulk Hogan.
“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Bret “The Hitman” Hart
Saturday Night Main Event Nov. 1987
This match has a cult following on the internet, but I had never seen it. I
know, I know, I am a horrible fan. However, I found it and now it is time to me
dig into some deliciousness.
Vince begins with some leering at Liz, who looks lovely in her pink dress.
Savage, not so much, purple and orange robe.
Savage is ripshit about last month and is raring to go. Neidhart and
Jimmy Hart circle Liz, but Savage hops down to scare off the heels. Ventura
points out that this will be a tough task because of all the distraction. Savage
chases the Hart Foundation. Gets a hold of Hart and throws him head first into
the steel ringpost. Savage takes control in the corner, but Hart moves at the
last second and Savage goes hard into the corner. Haste makes waste says my
mother as Savage is over-zealousness cost them here. Bret Hart’s using a
combination of strikes and chokes a lot of offense on the throat. Hart
telegraphs the back body drop and a big standing elbow by the Macho Man. Savage
is trying to tear his nose off and sends Hart flying into the guardrail in an
impressive bump. What I love so far that Savage still wrestles the match like
he would, but it is justified because he is out for revenge. Savage hits the
double noggin knocker on Nedihart and Jimmy. As he goes for the double axe-handle
and Bret connects with a punch to the gut.
Liz looks to help Savage, but Neidhart kicks Savage in the gut. Back in the
ring, Hart hits a leg drop and he taunts Liz. He hangs Savage in the tree of
woe, never seen Hart use that, ad delivers some kicks. Hart with a vicious
piledriver, but only gets two and Ventura is impressed by his guts. Since it is
really hard to fake a punch and most wrestlers suck at it. They should use the
standing elbow that Savage and Hart are so fond of, looks so much more
effective. Now Savage moves and it is
Hart that goes hard into the buckle.
Macho Man, in desperation, sends Hart into the ringpost arm-first. Hart has been taking a lot of abuse. Double
axe-handle off the top gets a two, but Hart recovers with a backbreaker.
However, Savage is playing possum and Hart crashes and burns with an elbow.
Macho Man flies over the top throttling Hart’s throat over the top rope. Savage
piefaces the ref and a walks into a back body drop onto the floor. Savage has
fucked up his knee bad and the Hart Foundation has made Bret aware of Savage’s
busted knee. My mother is convinced that Savage’s knee is really hurt. I love
my parents they know it is fake, but at the first instance of extraordinary
selling, they are hooked back in.
Savage is literally hobbling on one-leg and we all know the
chances of a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. Vince puts over Savage’s
guts and Machismo. Savage is using the ropes to hold him up. Let me remind the
reader that Hart was just a tag wrestler at this point and Savage was the
veritable second most popular wrestler in the world and he was not afraid to
show some ass for him. Hogan, take some notes, bitch. Hart is locked the fuck
in on that leg and takes the leg and slams it against the steel ringpost.
McMahon is pleading with the ref to stop the match as Hart sadistically attacks
the ankle with spinning toe holds. Savage kicks him off and is literally
wrestling this match hopping on one leg. That’s commitment. O shit at some
point, Savage’s boot came off and Hart is kicking his exposed leg. Single
leg-crab now and Savage barely makes the ropes, but it does not stop the Hart
onslaught. Savage rakes the eyes just for a breather. You know what this match
needs is some concerned looks from Liz. Come on, director. Savage reverses a
suplex into an inside cradle and makes a three-count. Holy shit! You would
never see Hogan do a match like that. Jimmy clobbers Bret with the megaphone by
accident and Savage from his back wards them off with a megaphone. Now, Liz
comes in to check on Macho Man. The crowd goes wild for Savage’s incredible
performance.
And in 19888, the Emmy for Best Performance in Primetime
Serial goes to wait for it… the Macho Man Randy Savage. Give them 10 more
minutes of leg heat and this was *****. As it stands, it was bit short ****,
but totally insanely fun.
So with Savage being primed for a run at the top, Hogan exited to film his hit
movie, No Holds Barred, bwhahahha. McMahon
toyed with the radical idea of having a heel run at the top, “Million Dollar
Man” Ted DiBiasie. There is an old saying in reasons, heels don’t fly in New
York, they fly in Atlanta. The number one difference between McMahon (NY) and
NWA/WCW (southern wrestling) is that McMahon is the greatest booker of babyfaces
ever and the first and only time he ran with a heel is Ric Flair-mark Triple H.
In NWA/WCW, the money was always in the chase and almost always ran with a heel
on top most notably at this time, “Nature Boy” Ric Flair. Anyways, McMahon got
cold feet and gave Savage the run atop with the belt. Now of course, Hogan
being protective of his spot came up with a screwy way to drop the belt on the
ref. It involved twin refs, Andre the Giant and Ted DiBiasie paying off
everyone. Andre won on a fast-count to the largest TV wrestling audience as 35
million people tuned into watch this match in 1988. DiBiasie bought the title
off Andre in a great heel move, but the WWF said not so fast due to all the
controversy we are going to have a 14-man one-night tournament for the vacant WWF World Heavyweight Title
(Hogan and Andre had byes). Savage went over Butch Reed, Greg “the Hammer”
Valentine, One Man Gang before getting to the finals against DiBiasie. Usually,
I am a sucker for tournaments, but there were too many matches and this one was
boring as fuck. The finals really isn’t anything remarkable. DiBiasie comes out
with Andre, but Liz goes to the back and against the Hulkster. Hogan ends up
sticking his nose in everyone’s business by hitting DiBiasie in the back with a
steel chair. Thus Macho Man captired his first World Championship. It would be
Savage’s first and longest reign as world heavyweight champion.
Most of the year was spent feuding with the mega-over Ted DiBiasie, Andre The
Giant, and weirdly enough Bad News Brown (a street-tough black wrestler from
Harlem), a career mid-carder. So the match I chose to review from Savage’s
title reign is the same one the WWE picked to represent his reign on their DVD,
a cage match against DiBiasie at MSG.
WWF World Heavyweight Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs “Million Dollar Man”
Ted DiBiasie – Cage Match
June 1988 MSG
DiBiasie is accompanied as usual by his black man-servant, Virgil, no racial
overtones there. Virgil was named after rival NWA booker, Dusty Rhodes.
Old-school Blue WWF cage, which has no give, and this is escape-rules only. Finkel
lets us know he makes his summer residence in Hyanniport, MA that is a
beautiful bit of heel heat there.
DiBiasie has underrated hair. O
God, I forgot the C-Team is on commentary. Savage is wearing that badass dragon
robe and seems extra antsy to get to the ring. I did not think that DiBiasie
rivalry was that personal. Shoddy camera
work and all of sudden Savage I on the mat getting beaten by DiBiasie, fuck
Lord Alfred is here. Ted has good worked punches, nice fist-drop, real smooth
combination of strikes from Ted. Savage does the ram his head into the
turnbuckles 10 times and then connects with a knee-drop. Savage really needs to
watch the reverse elbow, nice backbreaker by DiBiasie. Savage slams DiBiasie
before he can get out. Savage stops the Million Dollar Man before he can be
rammed into the cage. Nice clothesline
by DiBiasie and fist-drop combination and again he goes for the escape, but
Macho Man is there to grab his tights.
The story of the match seems to be as soon as DiBiasie gets advantage he
attempts an escape, but he just has not put Macho Man away enough to get the
victory. Savage gets DiBiasie hung up in
the ropes and Savage chokes DiBiasie. Macho Man is impeded from escaping by
Virgil. One of these clowns describes a punch from DiBiasie as a
“thought-rearranger” just so you know the level of commentary I am dealing
with. The Million Dollar Man is the first to taste the unforgiving steel as he
goes head-first. Big back flop by Ted
and Savage is just exhausted. Savage has the wherewithal to make an attempt.
Here comes Virgil with a couple shots to the gut and Ted hangs him in the tree
of woe. Macho Man makes a break for it,
but Ted gets a press slam off the top rope. DiBiaise on spaghetti legs, but
starts using his noggin and tries to make a move for the door. Savage impedes
him with punches and then a double clothesline. Savage stirs first and crawls
to the door and DiBiasie dives for Savage’s foot. “Superstar” Billy Graham, who
I love to death, is killing me here with a stupid rant about Liz taking up
power lifting. “She will still be beautiful 80 pounds heavier.” – WTF?!?!?!
Double clothesline spot again and this time both men are really selling it.
They go for the double escape spot. O
NO!!! Virgil impedes Savage, but a fuckin idiot DiBiasie goes after Savage when
he has a clear path to the title. Savage hits a suplex on Ted and then a
reverse atomic drop sends DiBiasie rocketing into the cage head first. Ted is out
cold, Savage crawls to the door and Virgil slams the door on Randy’s head.
Million Dollar Man is almost out, Savage has a tight grips on those tights and pulls
him back in. They slug it out on their knees mina spot I love. Savage wins and
sends Ted back into the cage head-first. As Macho Man is making an escape, all
three men are ontop of the 15 foot high cage and an overzealous fan decides to
join them atop the 15 foot cage. The teenager is trying to help Savage as the
cheating was just getting unbearable for him.
Now the normal policy is to wallop all fans who jump the rail, but since
the kid is 15 feet high in the air that isn’t happening. The teenager realizes
this was not the brightest idea and jumps down. Savage hits the double noggin
knocker on the heels, who both go tumbling down in different directions. Savage
has a clear path to retain the title.
Savage wins and retains the championship.
Typical WWF cage match, I have not watched a lot of DiBiasie, but he is highly
regarded however this match just didn’t seem extraordinary. Very paint by
numbers lots of escape spots and a couple good false finishes don’t make for a
stellar match. I give it ***.
So Savage ran through the challengers throughout the year, however at all the
PPV’s (Summerslam and Survivor Series) it was the Mega-Powers that teamed
against the Mega-Bucks (DiBiasie/Andre). By the time January has came around
Lust Hogan had stolen Elizabeth to his manager. I mean Hulk Hogan had taken
Miss Elizabeth to be his manager. At the second annual Royal Rumble in January
of 1989, Savage was fighting in the ropes with his nemesis, Bad News Brown and
Hogan dumped them both. To say Savage was pissed is an understatement. The
paranoia and jealousy had ensnared the mind of the Macho Man, he just needed
that snapping point, what is beautiful is that Savage character was already
established as a paranoid lunatic. This came at a Night Main Event in February
as the Mega-Powers teamed up against the Twin Towers (Big Bossman and Akeem),
who had eliminated Hogan at the Rumble and the new chief heels of the WWF.
Halfway through the bout, Liz is accidentally wiped out by Savage (an
impressive bump for the petite Elizabeth) and Savage is incensed and
immediately attempts to gain revenge on the Towers. Hogan, on the other hand,
tends to Liz and carries her to the back. Ooooooooooo drama.
So after 5 minutes of preening for the cameras and Macho Man taking the
shit-kicking of a lifetime, Hogan decides to graciously honor Savage with his
presence. Savage snubs him for awhile and then is like” fuck you drama queen”
and bitchslaps him saying “do it yourself, tough guy”. So clearly you the think
perfect opportunity to buildup the Twin Towers as monsters, nah. They get
unceremoniously jobbed out to the Luster, I mean Hulkster.
Then comes the part when they talk them into the building. Savage goes an
incredibly hateful, paranoid, jealous, incendiary rant accusing Hogan of
lusting after his woman and title. Watch it, this why Savage is The Man:
The perfect storytelling of this whole thing is that Savage is in the right,
Hogan has been grandstanding and hot dogging in front of the crowd because he
was insecure without the title. However, by putting his hands on Liz and going
about the way he does he turns the crowd against him. That is the most
effective heel of all the one that truly believes what he is saying. This was
the high-water mark in terms of Hulkamania era booking. One of the greatest
storyline of all time that I have ever witnessed. Wouldn’t you know that Wrestlemania
V is right around the corner, looks like we have a main event title match.
WWF World Heavyweight Champion “Macho
Man” Randy Savage vs Lust Hogan
Wrestlemania V
Savage enters first without Elizabeth as Gorilla tells us she will be in a
neutral corner. The Body is right on that saying she is a gold-digger and leave
with whomever wins the belt. Gorilla does a horrible job defending her as she
makes her own entrance. The Luster is out next to a decent-size pop as the
primma donna grandstanding continues, usually the champion would enter last,
but not in a Hogan match. By the by I stole Lust Hogan and the Luster from
Jesse The Body. The Body is all over Lust Hogan saying how low does a man have
to stoop to go after a man’s woman just to challenge him for the belt. Plenty of early heel stall tactics as Jesse
informs us “Ya don’t sweat Macho”. They lock-up and Hogan establishes he is the
more powerful of the two. Hogan chants grow louder as Savage tries to get Hogan
to chase him around the ring. Turn it into a cat and mouse game smart by Randy.
Things not going Savage’s way so he berates Liz to get some heat. Finally
Hogan, gives chase and Macho Man hides behind Liz. There is the Macho Man I
know and love.
Back in the ring, Hogan does his one chain wrestling sequence he knows. Long
time fans know which one I am talking about. Savage is able to counter a side
headlock with belly to back suplex he follows that up with an eye-rake and a
double axe-handle to get two. Macho Man keeps control over the Luster by
grabbing what little hair he has left. Hogan drops down and pulls the tights to
break the hold and send Macho Man to the outside. Hogan hits a series of
strikes and finishes with a heelish boot-rake, which sends Jesse into a tizzy
over the hypocrisy of Hogan and his fans.
The Luster telegraphs the back body drop and Savage regains controls
with a sitout clothesline. It is now we notice that Hogan has been busted open
above his eye the hard way. I have no idea after seeing this match a dozen
times what caused that. We hit the chinlock by Macho. A high-knee with Hogan’s
back turned gets two and Savage goes after the eye. Hogan makes a comeback with
bodyslamming Savage over the top rope and onto the floor in an impressive spot.
Now we kick it into high gear. Liz tries to tend to the Macho Man, but he is
having none of it and almost decks her. The Luster hoists Savage on his
shoulder and looks to ram him into the steel ring post. Shades of the January
1986 match as Liz stands in front of the ring post and Savage slips down the
back and shoves Lust Hogan into the post. Liz goes to tend to the fallen Hogan,
well there goes Savage’s fragile psyche. He snaps and measures her for a punch in a
rather uncomfortable to watch because Savage plays such a frightening lunatic.
Liz is escorted from ringside. Now Macho Man can really concentrate. He hits
his patented double axe-handle onto Hogan throttling his throat into the guardarail.
Exaggerated selling by Hogan follows as Savage hotshots Hogan throat across the
top rope. He drapes Hogan’s throat across the middle rope gets a head of steam
and drops all his weight across the Luster’s throat. Jesse says it is just a
matter of time. He follows this up with an elbow across the throat on the
apron. Savage’s bodyslam/kneedrop combination only get 2. Savage chokes him
with his wrist tape and then chokes him out with his bare hands. Worst. Ref.
Evah. Savage up top with the BIG ELBOW! Of course Hogan presses him off like he
is nothing. Hulk-Up. You know the rest of this garbage. Lust Hogan captures the
title for a second time.
Tremendous storyline with a lackluster climax. As a standalone match it is an
above average bout, but the storyline before it enhances the quality. Savage just
was not as enraged as I wanted him to be. Until the bodyslam to the outside the
match was pretty boring and by the
numbers. They should have taken a page out of the their January 1986
encounter and started the match hot with Savage blindsiding him. The finish was
hot and in context of the storyling I give it ***1/2, but watch it in conjunction
with the promo videos.
Next time, we look at my all-time favorite Savage match and the greatest
dramatic segment in the history of wrestling.
I totally forgot today was the ten-year anniversary of the passing of the “British
Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith and figured what the hell lets do a review for him.
Davey Boy was actually from Britain (always a big draw there) and got his big
break as one-half of the British Bulldogs with the Dynamite Kid in Stampede
Wrestling up in Calgary. Dynamite Kid, who was Chris Benoit’s idol, was a
hard-hitting, high-impact wrestler, but on the smaller side. Smith was the
bigger of the two and possessed incredible power, but impressive agility for a
man his size. Stampede Wrestling was run by Stu Hart, patriarch of the famous
Hart clan and it was there the Bulldogs caught the eye of Vince McMahon and the
WWF. However, while up there Davey Boy became smitten with one of the Hart
girls: Diana and ended up marrying her.
In the WWF, The British Bulldogs captured their World Tag Team Titles at
Wrestlemania II and embarked on great feuds with likes of fellow Stampede
alumni, the Hart Foundation, Bret “The Hitman” Hart and Jim “The Anvil”
Neidhart, both of who were his brothers in -law. Bret was Diana’s brother and
the Anvil married another Hart girl by the name of Ellie. The Bulldog
eventually branched off into singles wrestling as the Dynamite Kid, an ornery
son of a bitch, entered a downward spiral of alcohol and drugs.
In my opinion, the British Bulldog was an over-achiever, as he was not not gifted in the promo
department, but he was an exceptional talent in the ring, agile for a man his size. However, the hallmark of
a great wrestler is he can wrestle a great match with anybody. All of the
Bulldog’s great matches occurred against either Bret, Owen Hart (RIP Owen) or
Shawn Michaels. With a week of training, I could have a great match against one
of those three in their primes. Yet Bulldog headlined many PPV’s, but never did
capture the big one. His biggest moment was at Summerslam 1992 at Wembley
Stadium in London, England in front of 80,000 of his countrymen he main evented
his first PPV against his brother in-law, Bret “The Hitman” Hart challenging for
the Intercontinental Championship.
WWF Intercontinental Champion Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs “British Bulldog” Davey
Boy Smith
Summerslam 1992 London, UK
They are hanging from the rafters, Gorilla! A decidedly split reaction for the
ultra-white meat babyface Bret Hart. Tons of Union Jacks in the audience to
support the Bulldog. Diana is shown in the crowd and The Brain immediately
thinks she will support whoever wins. Vince says that Diana must very
conflicted about this confrontation. Vince asserts that Hart is just as popular
as Bulldog, in any country, definitely McMahon. The Brain wonders if Hart is
kissing the championship goodbye as Hart gives out his shades to a lucky kid in
the front row. They stand toe-to-toe and lock eyes. Shove by Bret to establish “Boo
me!” as if the fans needed any help with the Bulldog donning Union Jack tights.
Collar elbow tie-up, Bulldog wins both and grabs a side headlock. They do a
criss-cross spot and huge shoulderblock sends Hart to the outside. Nice bump.
The Brain wonders why Davey Boy lets Whoopi Goldberg do his hair. Smith has his
hair braids with red, white, and blue beads in them. Smith’s power game has been established. Hart
proves he is the superior chain wrestler grabbing a side-headlock. Hart escapes
the press slam and a series of flash near-falls for Bret. He slows down Bulldog
with a side-headlock. The Brain posits
that they are on an equal footing because neither is too bright. Smith escapes
smoothly into a hammerlock and drives the knees into Hart’s exposed arm. Hart
regains his vertical base and applies a standing armbar. Very smooth and
well-executed by both men so far as it is power vs technique. Smith uses his
agility to escape the armbar and grab his own. Criss-cross spot and Davey boy
catches him and catapults Hart into the corner. Back onto the arm, nice leverage
moves by Smith as he lifts Hart by one arm. The fans are chanting Bulldog. Nice
crucifix pin by Bulldog gets two and its right back on the armbar as Diana
looks on concerned. Hart tries to get out of the armbar by slamming the
Bulldog, but Bulldog hangs onto the hold. Davey Boy is relentless on the arm.
Reviewing things help notice new things, Bret sets up a lot of spots in this
match by running the ropes. British crowd has airhorns to rev up and
co-ordinate the chant for Bulldogs while Bulldog is in the chinlock. Atomic
drop as the fans are hot for the Bulldog; Bret blocks the crucifix pin with a slam
and we go back to the chinlock. Another criss-cross pot, this time British
Bulldog wins with a monkey flip. Bulldog connects with a headbutt. When Bret
gets his foot up in the corner to stop the charging Bulldog, the crowd boos
like mad. Bret sets him up for the first of his FIVE MOVES OF DOOM: the bulldog
out of the corner.
In a move out of the Flair playbook, Bulldog press slams
Bret off the top rope, but Bret moves out of the way of a high-risk move by the
Bulldog. In 1992, Vince was already describing Bret a wily veteran. Good Bret
spot is when it looks like the opponent is going to get a victory roll and he
slides down sending his opponent to crash and burn on the outside. The crowd
HATES Bret. Bret with a nasty pescado on the Bulldog by hooking his neck on the
way down. He picks up the Bulldog an drams his back first into the steel
ringpost. Bret has chosen his body part.
Bret sends Bulldog hard into the turnbuckles, now a headbutt to the small of
the back. Side Russian Legsweep, the second of the Five Moves of Doom gets a
two-count. Davey Boy may be out on his feet as Bret is pummeling him with
Europen uppercuts finally gets his off his feet with a dropkick. Big back body
drop only gets two for Bret. This actually some really good heel work for Bret
as he is working the crowd into a frenzy, Bulldog should get some credit for
selling. Crowd is rabid for the Bulldog, one of the hottest crowds ever. Nice
snap suplex only gets two, which is the third Move of Doom. Bulldog reverses a
European uppercut into a backslide popping the crowd. Backbreaker and in combination
with a second rope elbow completes the Five Moves of Doom and still the Bulldog
kicks out at two. Hart, now goes into a full-on dick heel mode, pulling up Bulldog
by his braids drawing the ire of the partisan British crowd. The Brain notes
you could never do that to Bret because his hair is coated with oil slicks. HA!
Bret is clearly frustrated now so he goes back to the chinlock. Wild swing by
the Bulldog is reversed into a sleeper by the Hitman. Vince, annoyingly,
declares it is over which means it isn’t. Vince sucked on commentary. Bulldog
gets to the ropes and Bret breaks at 4. Off the ropes they go and Bret slaps on
another sleeper. They do the “three arm” drops spot and Bulldog powers out at
two. Bulldog breaks the hold by ramming Bret into the turnbuckle. Slugfest,
baby! In a spot I think that went awry, Bulldog goes for a press slam and drops
Bret into the ropes and Bret gets all tangled. Huge clothesline by the Bulldog
on Bret out of the corner as the crowd comes alive for Smith. Only gets two for
Davey Boy, who now hits a press slam for two count. Smith is in disbelief and
goes for a delayed vertical suplex. That
is one of the Bulldog’s best spots, but only gets two. Bret takes the Bret bump
into the turnbuckles, but that only gets a two. Bulldog signals for the Running
Powerslam and I notice there is a Confederate flag in the crowd. WTF?!?!
Running Powerslam only gets two and is a tremendous false finish. Hart is
selling like a champ by using the ropes to hold him up and Smith just nudges
his head and he collapses.
Hart reverses a vertical suplex into bridging German suplex for only a two
count and the crowd is bonkers and I am coughing up a storm due to all this
excitement. Bret hooks him for a suplex, but Bulldog sets him up on the top
rope. Huge superplex by Smith and he drapes the arm over Hart and only gets
two. Double clothesline and both men are
out. Even though they had some restspots we are near the 25 minute mark and
this had been a pace that kills. From their backs, Hart is attempting to apply the
Sharpshooter, his finishing subsmission hold. The crowd is nervous as their
hero seems doomed for defeat. Full applied and Vince declares it to be all
over. Vince is ultimate negative nelly. But Bulldog gets to the ropes and Bret
sends him off the ropes. Bulldog sits down on a sunset flip attempt and gets a
three count and the INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP. The pop is HUGE and it lasts
for minutes as the stadium is RAUCOUS! The Bret teases exiting as the crowd
boos before they finally embrace to huge cheers as The Brain suggests he waffle
him.
A stellar contest for the Intercontinental title as it was the Bret show. A
brilliant performance by him on offense and then bumping to make the Bulldog
look like a million bucks that is heralded as one the most impressive singular performances.
Bulldog hit his spots well and together they wrestled a damn near perfect
match. *****
The British Bulldog would go on to main PPV’s against Bret, Diesel and Shawn
for the WWF title and win the tag team titles with brother in-law, Owen, one of
the most terrific tag teams of the 90s. Davey Boy passed in 2002. His greatest achievement will be that one summer night in Wembley when he set London ablaze with his Intercontinental title victory. Rest In Peace, Davey Boy.
The less said about the Heat, the better. Fucking pathetic.
I have a birthday coming up and I love that shirt. *hint* *hint*
Where we left off, Savage had a rocket strapped to his ass by McMahon and was
pushed to the top of the heap. McMahon rewarded Savage for his performance
with Hogan with a run with I-C belt.
Savage, in true cowardly heel fashion, stole the title from Tito Santana and
now he was out for vengeance. In addition, the loveable George “The Animal”
Steele (a violent lunatic in the ‘60s) had become infatuated with Elizabeth drawing
the ire of her uber-jealous husband, Randy Savage. Savage was also programmed
into a feud with “The Living Legend” Bruno Sammartino. The problem with both
these feuds was that Steele and Sammartino were huge stars in 1960s and it was
now 1986 so to say they were over the hill is an understatement. Still Savage bumped
like a madman for them and parlayed the reign into a highly successful over
year long reign. Of course climaxing with the tremendous bout against Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat at Wrestlemania
III.
Interesting note, up until this point I had seen each of the matches I reviewed
at least once beforehand. This will not be the case with the following two
matches.
ARRIBA!
WWF Intercontinental Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs
Tito Santana – No DQ
May 1986 Maple Leaf Gardens
I was trying to find the No DQ match from MSG, but youtube did not have it.
This probably the “same match” anyways. Savage’s robe is the coolest fuckin one
I have ever seen as it is adorned with red & gold dragons with a matching
gold head band and Savage written in white sequins with a red trim on a black
base, a true beauty. Also, there is Liz. Just kidding Liz, looking beautiful
and elegant as always. Gorilla takes a potshot at Savage and says Bobby The
Brain will be broadcast colleague. Gorilla and The Brain are widely considered
the greatest commentary team in history. Savage begins with some trash talking
stalling as it announced a No Disqualification match. Liz attempts to the hold
ropes open and Savage yells at her to get in the ring so he can hide behind
her. Smart strategy it impedes Santana from blindsiding him. I am digging Liz’s
dress and damn Liz almost becomes collateral damage to Savage’s madman antics.
Savage with his shades and bandana still on ascends the top, but Tito catches
him with a right as he comes down. Savage attempts to crawl on his hands and
knees away, but Tito catches him and rams his head into the top turnbuckle.
Santana goes for an early Figure 4 and Savage skedaddles. Tito follows him
outside and hits with chairs and sends him into the guardrail. Santana is fired
up!!! Way more intensity in this match than the last one, Santana is all over
the Macho Man. Huge “Ti-to” chants, but Savage gets a thumb to the eye and sends
Tito crashing over the top to the floor. The Brain gets a potshot in on Hogan.
Same corner knee spot from the Boston Garden keeps Tito in control. First
double axe-handle of the match knocks out Tito. Savage chokes Tito with the
rope and then a brutal knee drop right across the throat, but Tito kicks out.
Nice sitout clothesline by Macho Man gets another two count.
Bodyslam by Savage, but this time misses the kneedrop, which should setup
Santana’s figure 4 nicely. I like how the match has been laid out so far. Tito
started early with a lot of heat being pissed that had been screwed out of the
title, but Macho took over some cheating, but finally got frustrated at not
putting Santana away thus Tito has openings like a small package and Savage’s
knee getting messed up. Savage goes in for the kill and hits a double
axe-handle off the top rope onto the floor, but Macho man is still favoring the
knee. Unwisely, Savage sneaks around and connects with a high-knee. Savage
jumps over the guardrail and steals an usher’s chair , but whiffs and connects
with the ringpost. Tito is able get a gut punch as Savage tries another double
axe-handle off the top. Now Tito is just bashing Savage’s head off everything
as Savage tries to stagger up the ramp. LIZ DO SOMETHING!!! Back in the ring,
Tito signals for the Figure 4, but eye-rake saves Macho Man’s belt. Huge “Ti-to”
chants! Back outside, Santana maintains the upper-hand. Savage blades off a
steel ringpost shot, Liz is in tears. This is not looking good for the Master
of Madness. Both men are selling extreme exhaustion (alliteration rulez).
Slugfest, Savage finishes it with a eye-rake, but as Savage pulls back for
another jab, down goes the ref. So we hit endgame.
Tito hits the Flying Burrito (flying forearm) and Santana is on top of Macho Man.
BUT NO REF! Oooooooo Drama! Now Tito with another cover after a bodyslam, but
still no referee. Savage with a knee into Tito’s kidney, but Tito applies the
victory roll, however Savage reverses and grabs a handful of tights for
leverage giving Savage the three-count. Macho bloodied and bruised escapes with
the title. The Brain sings “La Cucaracha” to mock Tito and celebrate Savage’s
victory. Wonderful.
Great, intense brawl from these two as I have not seen many Santana matches,
this one has convinced me to seek out more. I would call this one slightly
better than the title change in Boston, giving it **** and becoming Savage’s
first **** match in the WWF.
Like I mentioned earlier Savage got programmed into some lame feuds with over
the hill legends like Bruno Sammartino and George “The Animal” Steel. However,
the next match is doubly intriguing not just because it is against another prolific
wrestler in his prime, Jake The Snake Roberts, but it is a very rare heel vs
heel match. Savage was the insane Wildman that cheated at all times and was
borderline abusive towards Elizabeth. Roberts was cerebral, diabolical villain
that in his own words was supposed to be the personification of the Devil,
himself. Would the fans side with Satan or wild Savage, tune into find out on
Saturday Night’s Main Event.
Hail Satan!
WWF Intercontinental Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Jake “the Snake”
Roberts
November 1986 Saturday Night’s Main Event
Mean Gene attempts to Liz’s feelings on snakes, but Savage says “Hey,
Intercontinental Champ over here”. Mean Gene inquires if he is scared of snakes
and Savages says he is going to skin Jake, himself and make him into a belt and
boots. McMahon, on commentary, reminds us why he is called the genetic
jackhammer as he creepily leers at Elizabeth. Savage licks his lips like a
lizard and Jake sits in the corner brooding while the snake crawls around him.
It is an impressive sight. In a rare occurrence, Liz and Savage don’t match.
Jake with some pre-match shenanigans approaches Liz with the snake in hand. The
fans are actually chanting “D-D-T!”, the name of Jake’s finisher, so that
answers that question. McMahon on the
other hand finds Roberts transgressions reprehensible and roots for Savage to
protect his woman, but Savage true to form hides behind Liz, runs from Damien
(the python). McMahon must have been pissed at the crowd reaction then. Liz is
rocking what can only be described as a rainbow sherbet dress.
McMahon gets on my nerves by repeating the word, “sensational”. He wonders who
will be the fan favorite in this match. Ventura declares that these are the two
most hated villains in all of the WWE and he is interested in seeing the crowd
dynamics. Savage is selling the snake so well, plenty of head games. McMahon
picks Savage. Both establish they are heels by pulling each other’s hair.
Roberts is a big dude, I always forget that, both are just going after each
other’s hair. McMahon makes a bald joke at Jesse’s expense. Roberts is
wrestling more babyface being on the attack early and Savage showing fear of
snakes is not endearing the Macho Man to the crowd. Failed DDT attempt gets the crowd to pop.
Savage catches Roberts with a huge knee in the corner only gets a 2 and Ventura
does not think Savage has worn Jake down enough. Jesse says we are going to get
some “Good down-home cheating.” And McMahon is incredulous. Savage controls the
matches with an assortment of strikes, but can only get 2 counts and starts to
choke Jake on the top rope. Savage’s assault has been relentless, but nothing big and that is
Ventura’s correct criticism. Jake the Snake is tied up in the ropes and Savage
grabs the snake in the bag and hides it under the ring to help his mental
sanity. Jake The Snake breaks free and catches Savage with a knee to the head. Jake the Snake with his patented short-arm
clothesline, but Savage gets his foot on the ropes. The fans are chanting “D-D-T!”,
Roberts feigns the DDT and delivers a front suplex, which McMahon and Ventura don’t
know the name of, amateur hour. Hands of stone are displayed by Jake The Snake
and he blocks a Savage right. Roberts goes for the DDT and Savage hooks the
ropes before it can be delivered. Macho Man hides behind LIZ and when Roberts
goes for Damien, he blindsides him with a high-knee. Savage hits it in
combination with a double axe-handle out of the ring. Savage with another one,
but he gets greedy and Jake the Snake reverses.
Just out and out fight as neither man can get the advantage. Savage vents
his frustration by shoving the ref away.
Roberts takes advantage of the situation, but when the ref tries to restore
order Jake the Snake shoves him outta
the ring. Macho Man throws some furniture into the ring and the ref calls the
match a double disqualification. Jake the Snake grabs his snake and rubs it all
over the Macho Man. Everyone high-tails it.
What a track meet, goddamn I am out of breath just watching this. The match was
all about teasing the DDT and Savage doing everything in his power to escape
it. Yet McMahon and Ventura wonder why Roberts was the fan favorite. He was the
aggressor that was not backing down. Savage was the one hiding behind women and
cheating. Interesting dynamic and definitely worth a watch, but it is not a clean, decisive
finish. The match is a bit short and would have benefited from 10 more minutes,
I have seen as high as ****. I give it ***1/2.
The Lord and Master of The Ring
In contrast to the previous two unseen matches, I could
probably recite from memory the blow-by-blow account of the next match between
Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat vs “Macho Man” Randy Savage. To say it is an
excellent ***** match is an understatement. This may be the single greatest
match in Wrestlemania history and in wrestling history. While shooting hoops in
the backyard, I compiled a list of ***** matches in the history of
Wrestlemania:
WWF I-Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Ricky “the Dragon” Steamboat – WM III
Career vs Career: “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs The Ultimate Warrior – WM VII
Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs Owen Hart – WM X
WWF I-C Champion Razor Ramon vs Shawn Michaels Ladder Match – WM X
Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs “Stone Cold” Steve Austin Submission Match WMXIII
World Heavyweight Champion Triple H vs Chris Beniot vs Shawn Michaels WM XX
Shawn Michaels vs Kurt Angle WM XXI
Shawn Michaels vs Undertaker WM XV
So by my count over the course of 28 Wrestlemanias (which have between 8-10
matches/card), there have only been 8 perfect ***** matches. (There is a reason
Shawn Michaels is dubbed Mr. Wrestlemania).
However, the first perfect match was a contest between the Macho Man and
the Dragon one that many current superstars point to the reason they are
wrestlers (Chris Jericho has specifically said this). The match has everything a classic wrestling
match needs two tremendous workers, a heated feud, some romance, and a whole
lot of ass-kicking.
Steamboat had befriended the zany, loveable George The Animal, but Macho Man
saw him as another threat to his reign. So Savage put Steamboat out of wrestling
for good by collapsing Steamboat’s voicebox with the ring bell. Or so he
thought, McMahon ran a bunch of vignettes of Steamboat trying to relearn how to
speak climaxing with challenging Savage to a title bout at the biggest show in
the history of wrestling: Wrestlemania III at the sold-out Pontiac Silverdome
in front of 93,000+ fans, an indoor attendance record for North America in
terms of any event until broken by I think a Papal visit by Pope John Paul II
(GO CATHOLICS!!!). The reason for the sell-out was the Match of the Century as
WWF World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan was taking on the undefeated,
unstoppable Andre The Giant. However, McMahon always savvy knew that would be a
lumbering contest and worked to put together one of the most athletic contests
by pitting Savage and Steamboat together. So as Savage so eloquently states in
his pre-match promo for this match: HISTORY BECKONS THE MACHO MAN!!! It is this
match among others why Randy Savage has not died and will never die in our
minds and hearts. Rest in Peace, Randy.
WWF Intercontinental Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Ricky “the Dragon”
Steamboat
Wrestlemania III
Goosebumps. Just immediate goosebumps knowing what I am about to witness.
Savage threatens to put Steamboat out of action for good because he is the “Lord
and Master of the Ring”. They have the motorized carts to get down the ridiculous
rampway, which was actually for Andre’s poor health condition. Liz is in a
lovely shade of pink and Savage in a brilliant crimson and blue robe.
Stemaboat, who I have met and is incredibly nice guy, but kinda sucks at
promos, which was the only thing holding him back from being the greatest
wrestler in history. Steamboat is accompanied by George “The Animal” Steele and
Gorilla and Jesse The Body are on commentary. Savage is wearing his iconic pink
tights with yellow boots with white stars. Savage with some early stalling
moves Liz to the “proper” corner away from The Animal. Awwwwww how sweet and
totally un-neurotically controlling. The Dragon begins the match with deep
arm-drags and picks up Savage by the throat with double-goozle. He breaks on
four and Jesse The Body is right on the apparent good guy for breaking the
rules flagrantly. Savage takes a powder. In his defense, Macho did crush his
larynx, I would be pissed too.
Savage plays cat and mouse and gains the advantage. Jesse declares he is best
talent in the wrestling world today and Gorilla begrudgingly agrees. Since
leverage wristlock by Steamboat and then wrings the arm over the top rope.
Savage stops the arm work by pulling the hair in combination with a reverse
elbow. Then he sends Steamboat over the top. Both men are on point with selling
Savage his arm and Steamboat having his hard. Gorilla says to look at the back
of the cranium of The Animal which is nasty and wrinkled and Jesse echoes those
sentiments by saying it is disgusting. Savage impedes Steamboat from getting in
with a kick, but lets him in on his own terms by pulling him up by the hair. The Macho Man always looking to lend a helping
hand.
Big elbow right to the injured throat of the Steamboat and the crowd is getting
pissed as Savage is in firm control. Macho Man pulls him up by the hair,
snapmares him in and gets a two count off a standing elbow. Big kneedrop gets
two and the crowd gets hot as Steamboat makes his first comeback with big
karate chops. Savage is tied up in the ropes and Jesse immediately takes Steamboat
to task for not breaking. Gorilla points out that Savage forfeited that
courtesy when he tried to maim Steamboat. Just a brilliant story of the usually
well-mannered Steamboat getting revved up because of Savage’s mean streak and
ability to get under one’s skin. High cross-body by Steamboat gets two,
shoulder blocks get two, they are cutting such a tremendous pace by fuckin
fingers cant keep up with them. GO! GO! GO!
Macho Man breaks his momentum with a classic high-knee to the back. Savage
thinks he sends him out but Steamboat skins the cat as the crowd pops. Savage
clothesline him out to finish the job. The crowd is red-hot for such a large stadium
crowd.
“You got to get up pretty early in the morning to outsmart the Macho Man” Jesse
The Body. I am stealing that, don’t mind if I do.
The Animal goes to aid his incapacitated companion and Ventura has this quip, “There
is the Animal, the Rhodes Scholar that he is, giving advice.” Jesse is on
fiy-ah. Savage sneak attacks Steamboat with a huge high-knee that sends
Steamboat over the guardrail. Jesse goes on a hilarious rant about the incompetence
of the ref and the hypocrisy of Gorilla supporting the Animal’s help of the
Dragon. The Animal carries Steamboat
back into the ring to avoid the countout. Savage sends him back to the outside
to hit his double axe-handle on the outside. Savage breaks the count, then
brings Stemaboat back in for a double axe-handle and a pin attempt. Gorilla
says he snuck out the back door as Savage follows that up by dropping Steamboat
throat first across the top rope. What a dastardly heel he is and Steamboat’s
sell is beautiful. Gets a two. Atomic drop gets a two. Macho Man is throwing
everything at him. Textbook suplex says Jesse gets only two. Gorilla says
Steamboat’s resilience is “guts personified”. Savage hits a gutwrench suplex,
my favorite type of suplex always looks nasty, and only gets two. Is Savage
pulling a LeBrick? Yep still pissed. Jesse thinks it a slow-count. Steamboat
gets a breather with a big back body drop that takes Macho Man to the outside.
Well-executed rope a dope strategy by the Steamer here as Savage is exhausted
from all the offense he has hit and Stemaboat is peaking at right time.
Steamboat connects with a flying karate chop inside the ring on the Macho Man.
It only gets two as Savage barley gets his foot on the ropes. I will be honest,
the first time I watched this they got me with that false finish and by the
sound of the crowd response they got about a 1/3 of the crowd too. False
finishes are super sexy; I am a total sucker for them.
Now Steamboat is a house of fire with karate chops getting a series of two
counts. What a pace!!! Sunset flip by Steamboat only gets two, Savage wildly
misses and a Steamboat rollup gets two. A single sweep gets two, small package
gets two, but crowd pops for it like a win. Good false finish. Catapult inot the
corner, another jackknife pin gets two. Savage misses wildly again, victory
roll by Steamboat, Savage reverses with a handful of tights, shades of the Tito
match, GREAT FALSE FINISH! I knew the first time I watched already, who won,
but had I not known it would have gotten me.
Savage with a great leverage move sends Steamboat crashing into the
corner. Savage is a warrior. A reversal of Irish whips sends Steamboat crashing
into the ref. Sitout clothesline and the BIG ELBOW~! BUT THERE IS NO REF!!!
Savage tries to revive the ref. Then he is like fuck it, might as well grab the
ring bell and really end this muthafucka’s career, but The Animal puts a stop
to that by grabbing the bell. So Savage kicks him in the back of the head,
which gives the Animal just cause to push Savage off the top and I think Savage’s
head was supposed to ram the ring bell, but it didn’t look good. As Savage goes
for a bodyslam, Steamboat had recovered enough to reverse it into a small
package and the CROWD POPS!!!!
What else is there that needs to be said. It is an ultimate classic of
wrestling canon. ***** Just go watch it.
Well, our hero does not take this lying down as he would move onto bigger and
better things. OOOOOOOHHHHHH YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
