Macho Madness: Randy Savage Kills Snakes Dead

Hey yo bromigoes and bromigas,

Danny Granger, HOLD MY DICK!

So the Macho Man had turned into a big softie and everything was all unicorns, rainbows and leather-clad midgets brandishing whips. Wait that is not everybody’s fantasy. Needs more Ke$ha. Amen, girlfriend.

Elizabeth accepted the Macho Man’s wedding proposal with the worst “Ooooooo Yeah!” ever and the lovey-dovey couple was set to be married at Summerslam 1991 in the Match Made In Heaven, get it. It would not be a wrestling wedding, unless so one was there to wreak some havoc. Jake the Snake and his buddy The Undertaker were on hand to do just that. Ya see, The Snake thought it would be a good idea to give Liz a real live King Cobra as a wedding gift. What woman doesn’t want a big snake? Smirks.

Roberts and Taker blindside Savage and beat him to a pulp. Roberts fearing no repercussion because Savage has been forcefully retired torments Savage with a promos about him being a man that is not able to protect his woman. Them’s fighting words. So when Savage came marching to the ring, Roberts got Savage tangled in the ropes and then had the King Cobra bite him on the arm. Now obviously in real life, the snake was de-venomed, but also in real life the snake bit Savage for too long and cause deep puncture wounds and visible bleeding. In a funny story, the snake died a couple days later causing Savage to joke that Macho is venom for snakes. Yes people. Randy Savage Kills Snakes Dead.

So after pleading and tons of fans request, the Macho Man was reinstated for a PPV in December of 1991 called Tuesday In Texas to face Jake “The Snake” Roberts”.

“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Jake “The Snake” Roberts.

Macho Man attacks Jake the Snake in aisleway with a hat that just screams. That is it. It just screams.

You dont get the full effect of the hat.

This is an out and out fight, not a wrestling match.  This is what the Savage/Hogan should have been.  All Savage, but the ref tries to hold back Savage, Roberts takes the advantage. Savage’s arm has been bandaged due to the snake attack and The Snake works it over mercilessly.  The Brain reminds us that Jakes is The Devil himself. Macho sells like he has only one arm. The Brain lists the chores that Macho Man could have done at home instead of taking this match. The Snake rips off the bandage like a prick and goes to the hammerlock. Roberts telegraphs a back body drop and misses a short-arm clothesline. Savage charges and eats a knee and disappointing the crowd. Jake connects with his short-arm clothesline and signals for the DDT to a chorus of boo’s. The Brain remarks that “Liz probably wishes she had married Jake” and that gets an “O will you stop it.”

Savage rams Jake into the corner on a DDT attempt, he still has life. Big Elbow finishes it for Savage in a very spirited brawl. The after-match shenanigans are a great piece of wrestling theater. As Savage looks to inflict more punishment with a chair, but the ring announcer pulls it away. SO he gets his trusty ring bell, the same bell the he used to crushed Steamboat’s larynx. MACHO MADNESS IS BACK!!! The ref tries to stop Randy and that gives Jake the opportunity to DDT Savage. Savage struggles to get up and eats another DDT, which Savage is out cold. Jake slithers out of the ring and he pulls under the ring, the bag that contains the SNAKE~! Here comes Liz running out to cover Randy’s body with her own. Jake berates her telling her to beg for his life and asking do you really love him. Stop it, she says, stop it. All the while Jake tease breaking out the snake and Jakes says “Say please”, she obliges and he obliges with a 3^rd DDT and Savage is finished. Beautiful theater, the match is short, but heated and intense. **** for the whole thing.

This video is from Survivor Series 1991 and shows the Screamin Hat in Full Effect.

Savage may have won the match, but it was certainly a Pyrrhic victory, which means there needs to be a blowoff match. Thus they would have a contest at the January 1992 version of Saturday’s Night Main Event.



“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Jake “The Snake” Roberts

January 1992 Saturday Night’s Main Event

 Vince is oddly excited talking about Liz begging for Savage’s health. This video has Savage’s pre-match promo, which is one of his best as he describes the pain and feeling of helplessness the Snakeman has put him through. Savage rushes in and Roberts powders. Savage right out after him sends him into post and tries to tear his face off repeatedly. Here comes the furniture and he chokes Roberts with his boots and the ref has lost control of this melee. An elbow across the Snake’s throat on the apron, Jake bleeds from the nose the hardway I reckon and it is all Macho Man.

Savage jabs in the corner and keeps tearing at his nose.  Jake sends Macho over the top rope and he just comes right back in on the offense. The Macho Man will not be denied. Roberts throws him back over the top rope and Jake takes Savage into the post twice. The second time was unprotected, damn. Savage’s double axe-handle is blocked with a shot to gut and a flash DDT knocks Macho Man unconscious, but Jake’s appetite is not satiated. After a minute, Savage is up and here comes the short-arm clothesline. Jake the Snake taunts the fans and signals for the second DDT. The DDT attempt is blocked with a desperation of back body drop.

Savage has the wherewithal to hit Roberts with a double axe-handle onto the floor driving The Snake’s throat into the guardrail. Savage takes this opportunity to hit the BIG ELBOW and pick up the victory. Refs flood the ring so Savage jumps into their mob and they disperse; he hits another BIG ELBOWS. The refs stop him from driving the ring bell across the throat. Liz jogs down in heels and embraces Savage   to blow off the feud.

This was the beginning of the babyface Savage formula of the 90’s. Start off red-hot, take heat for most of the match then hit two moves for the win. This is the very good version of the formula because Jake the Snake is such an effective heel. I am going a tad lower on the rating because I think Jake desereved more comeuppance than just two elbows. ***1/2

We have one more installment before  my tribute to the Macho Man is done and it is my favorite Savage title victory…

Macho Madness: A Tale of Kings, Warriors and Love

Hey yo bromigoes and bromigas,

Sick as a dog, but the show must go on. My sister is back on American soil and she still speaks English. WAHOO~!

So we have seen the progression of the Macho Man character. This is a key distinction in the wrestling world where there are one-dimensional gimmicks and very realistic characters. Some of the greatest wrestling draws were simple gimmicks. The Road Warriors are arguably the greatest tag team of all-time, but they have the character depth of a puddle. Even Hogan needed a heel reinvention in 1996 to finally become a character rather than a gimmick. Randy Savage was a character with tragic flaws of paranoia and jealous that drove him to fits of rage. Savage was a good guy at heart, but sometimes his emotions just got the best of him and that would turn him heel. After, the Wrestlemania V loss, Savage decided to make a clean break with the past. He dropped the lovely, but meek Elizabeth in favor of the physically capable, sadistic Sensational Sherri, who added a dynamic presence to his act. He dropped the short trunks for long tights.  After years of observing and being told Elizabeth was his greatest weakness, he made the conscious choice to choose the exact opposite female, but still a female, after all he did just have the biggest break-up of his career and you always want to make the ex jealous. The sequined robes and animal-print headbands were turned in for his trademark psychedelic space cowboy outfit. He even changed his nickname from Macho Man to Macho King after defeating “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan for the right to call himself the King of the WWF.

The Macho King and the Sensational Queen

Everything fit into the new character dynamic that after a year of trying to dethrone Hulk Hogan as the WWF World Champ and with the Ultimate Warrior being the anointed successor, he leveraged the Macho King title to delude himself into a fantasy of grandeur where he was the number one wrestler in the company.   The Macho King and the Sensational Queen would be carried to the ring by jabronis and he feuded with “common man” wrestlers such as “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan (HOOOOOOOOOO! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!) and the newly arrived, polka-dot wearing “American Dream” Dusty Rhodes. Why did he pick on these targets? Savage wanted to prove he was extraordinary not among the common class. It is evident by who he dressed, how he talked, who he hung out with and who he fought. Savage had gone from the supremely talented, but insecure young talent trying to talk and cheat his way to the top. Savage let his guard down in late 1987 and allowed Hulk Hogan to befriend him and cement his status as main event start. The paranoia that comes with the title and his over-protection of Elizabeth caused the Megapowers to burn. So he became insular, but as ex-World Champion, he became even more arrogant in his dealings.

In late 1990, Ultimate Warrior had been passed the torch and World title from Hogan at Wrestlemania VI, but was tanking as a draw. Savage tried to step up as a challenger, but was ducked in favor of heel Sgt. Slaughter. Sgt. Slaughter was an ex-Marine, but was turned heel as an Iraqi sympathizer at the height of the Gulf War, yep not one of the most tasteful WWF storylines. Savage got Warrior’s attention by costing him the belt against Slaughter. So it was setup a double main event for Wrestlemania VII: Hogan vs Slaughter for the title and WOYAH~! Vs Macho King in a career vs career match.

RAGE!

It all came down to this match, Savage and Warrior, whoever lost would be forced to retire. Savage could attain that moment forever immortalize him by taking the career of newly anointed Ultimate Warrior. On the flip side, Warrior could prove all the doubters and haters wrong by taking down the second greatest WWF superstar of all time up to that point.

A word on the Ultimate Warrior, he made Randy Savage look like a mild-mannered, even-tempered dude. Yep, he was that Looney Tunes. He talked to his hands and fuck it… watch this video:

Convinced? I thought so.

“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs The Ultimate Warrior – Career vs Career

Wrestlemania VII

Bobby The Brain spots Liz in the crowd before the match and posits she is here to watch Savage lose and rub it in. This gets a trademark, “O will you stop” from Gorilla. The Macho King and his Sensational Queen are carried to the ring by some jabronies. Warrior walks to the ring, instead sprinting. Thank God, one of the reasons for his poor conditioning in matches was that he blow up due to sprinting.  Warrior is decked out with Savage and Warrior’s face airbrushed on each of his knee-pads. His tights declare that “This [match] means more than this [WWF World Title]”. Cant say it much better myself.

Warrior is very stoic, while Savage is tweaking out, the crowd is firmly behind Warrior, but there are Savage fans in attendance. Warrior establishes he is the more powerful of the two by winning a lock-up. Savage attempts some early cheating, but that doesn’t phase the WOYAH~! Warrior hits a clothesline, double goozle, two atomic drops, and a final double goozle sends Savage crashing into Sherri. Well it seems like the Macho King is going to have to change his strategy.  Savage gets tangled in the ropes and Warrior goes to work in a match of this magnitude you have to take every advantage you get. When Warrior telegraphs a back body drop, Savage finally gets some offense in with a sitout clothesline. He tries to complete the combination with cross-body off the top, but Warrior catches him mid-air. BUT, he sets him down and paintbrushes him. TORCHED~!

Savage takes a walk and throws a chair in the ring. This is enough distraction to blindside the Warrior, but Warrior still levels him. None of the Macho Man’s usual tricks seem to be working. It turns out it was not a trick to get him the advantage it was Warrior’s overzealousness. Warrior charges into the corner and Macho moves at the last second sending Warrior to crash and burn over the top. Here we go, Sherri, take it to him. Sherri gets in more offense than Savage has at this point with throat thrust, double axe-handle, knee-lift and an eye-rake. This buys Savage some time to recover and then capitalize on his newfound advantage by sending the Warrior into the steel ring post. YOU CAN’T HURT STEEL!!! Here come the Warrior chants, chant all you want, but doesn’t change the fact that your boy is a fuckin nutjob.   The ususal bodyslam/kneedrop combination gets two, but gives Savage the psychological advantage of the first close pinfall. Backslide spot, but Warrior wins for a two count, so much for that advantage.
Both men stand up and stare at each other so Savage, being a defiant prick, spits at him. In a strange spot, Warrior tries to hit a flying shoulderblock on a kneeling Savage only to miss. Savage regains the advantage with a chinlock in the first stoppage of action in this fast-paced match. Sherri is so fuckin loud. Double clothesline and both men are down.  Sherri desperately tries to revive her meal ticket, the Macho King, but then does the next best thing distracts the ref while Warrior has him in a small package. A frustrated Warrior takes the ref to task, but that is when Savage blindsides him with his textbook high-knee. Savage holds Warrior in place to take a spiking from Sherri as she ascends the top, but Sherri connects with her high-heel onto Savage. If this was WCW, Savage would have been blinded for a couple months.

Warrior goes after Sherri, which gives Savage a chance to roll-up him for two and then drives his throat into the top rope as Savage slingshots himself over. Wicked clothesline to the back of the head by Savage gets two.  Savage in complete command knows what he must do. He hits not just one, not just two, not just Three, not just FOUR, BUT FIVE BIG ELBOWS OFF THE TOP onto the prone Warrior, a lesser man would just expired from this world after four and Hogan would have hulked-up after one. Too easy, too easy.

Warrior doesn’t kick out, but barely lifts his shoulder up at two, whipping the crowd into a frenzy. Hogan would have pressed Savage off and no-sold the whole thing. Hogan sucks. Savage’s wide-eyed expression at the Warrior’s kick-out is worth everything. It is a mixture of frustration, shock and fear. Fear that he may not be able to win this match. Savage pounds away on the Warrior, but to no avail as WARRIOR begins to do his rope-shake, we all know what is coming. Three clotheslines, the press slam and now the Warrior splash. He turns Savage over and he kicks out. HOLY SHIT! What a false finish.

Warrior looks down to his hands and then up to the Heavens wondering what he has to do put the Macho King away. Gorilla tries his best to narrate this melodramatic mid-match crisis. Warrior believes this Divine Providence that he is no longer fit to wrestle (I never thought he was that fit anyway) and begins to walk away as the ref pleads with him to reconsider because it will cost him his career. After all this, Savage forces his hand by walloping Warrior and Warrior is out. Sherri hold Warrior in place draped over the guard-rail as Savage ascends his perch looking to hit his double axe-handle onto the outside. However, this time, Warrior shoves Sherri off and Savage crashes and burns chin-first onto the guardrail.

Warrior stands Savage up in the middle of the ring, but he is out on his feet. Flying shoulderblock sends Savage flying out of the ring. Two more of these and Warrior puts his foot on Savage’s chest and the ref counts 1-2-3.

You won’t find many more dramatic matches in the history of wrestling. This is essentially now the blueprint of every Wrestlemania main event. Hit people with your finishers, but they still kick-out and then you have to hit the super-finisher to pick up the win. What I love about this match is that neither man really wins the match. Each time, they got an advantage it was become another’s mistake, it told the tale of two evenly-matched wrestlers. But wait there is more…

Sherri is pissed, I mean ripshit, that Savage lost. She begins kicking him while he is down and berating him. Liz cant stand to see anymore and hops the barricade. (Swarm! Swarm! Swarm! Whoops, she is part of the act.)  Liz in her first physical moment  takes Sherri by the hair and throws her out of the ring. To say the crowd is going wild at this point is an understatement. Remember, Savage and Liz have been separated for exactly two years. When Savage gets up, he almost decks her because he doesn’t realize who is behind him. He teases being pissed at seeing her and the whole crowd just wants that embrace. When they embrace it is not so much a pop, but an extended cheer of joy and a standing ovation. Then Savage hoists her up on his shoulder in one of the most iconic shots in wrestling. The camera pans to all the women crying and even I am moved each time I see this segment. Savage was such an effective bad guy, none of the fans ever wanted to see him go. There it was all these emotions of Savage losing his career, Liz saving him and their reunion, a perfect confluence of wrestling theater. As Liz goes to hold the ropes for Randy, he waves her off and in a true showing of class, holds the ropes for her. This sends the crowd and me into a whole new tizzy. ***** for the whole thing, you can’t beat this shit. May favorite Savage match/moment all wrapped into one. Macho Madness Lives Forever in this moment.   

The Greatest Wrestling Image Ever

Macho Madness: History Beckons The Macho Man

Hey yo bromigoes and bromigas,

The less said about the Heat, the better. Fucking pathetic.

I have a birthday coming up and I love that shirt.  *hint* *hint*

Where we left off, Savage had a rocket strapped to his ass by McMahon and was pushed to the top of the heap. McMahon rewarded Savage for his performance with Hogan with  a run with I-C belt. Savage, in true cowardly heel fashion, stole the title from Tito Santana and now he was out for vengeance. In addition, the loveable George “The Animal” Steele (a violent lunatic in the ‘60s) had become infatuated with Elizabeth drawing the ire of her uber-jealous husband, Randy Savage. Savage was also programmed into a feud with “The Living Legend” Bruno Sammartino. The problem with both these feuds was that Steele and Sammartino were huge stars in 1960s and it was now 1986 so to say they were over the hill is an understatement. Still Savage bumped like a madman for them and parlayed the reign into a highly successful over year long reign. Of course climaxing with the tremendous bout against  Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat at Wrestlemania III.

Interesting note, up until this point I had seen each of the matches I reviewed at least once beforehand. This will not be the case with the following two matches.

ARRIBA!

WWF Intercontinental Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Tito Santana – No DQ

May 1986 Maple Leaf Gardens

I was trying to find the No DQ match from MSG, but youtube did not have it. This probably the “same match” anyways. Savage’s robe is the coolest fuckin one I have ever seen as it is adorned with red & gold dragons with a matching gold head band and Savage written in white sequins with a red trim on a black base, a true beauty. Also, there is Liz. Just kidding Liz, looking beautiful and elegant as always. Gorilla takes a potshot at Savage and says Bobby The Brain will be broadcast colleague. Gorilla and The Brain are widely considered the greatest commentary team in history. Savage begins with some trash talking stalling as it announced a No Disqualification match. Liz attempts to the hold ropes open and Savage yells at her to get in the ring so he can hide behind her. Smart strategy it impedes Santana from blindsiding him. I am digging Liz’s dress and damn Liz almost becomes collateral damage to Savage’s madman antics. Savage with his shades and bandana still on ascends the top, but Tito catches him with a right as he comes down. Savage attempts to crawl on his hands and knees away, but Tito catches him and rams his head into the top turnbuckle. Santana goes for an early Figure 4 and Savage skedaddles. Tito follows him outside and hits with chairs and sends him into the guardrail. Santana is fired up!!! Way more intensity in this match than the last one, Santana is all over the Macho Man. Huge “Ti-to” chants, but Savage gets a thumb to the eye and sends Tito crashing over the top to the floor. The Brain gets a potshot in on Hogan. Same corner knee spot from the Boston Garden keeps Tito in control. First double axe-handle of the match knocks out Tito. Savage chokes Tito with the rope and then a brutal knee drop right across the throat, but Tito kicks out. Nice sitout clothesline by Macho Man gets another two count.

Bodyslam by Savage, but this time misses the kneedrop, which should setup Santana’s figure 4 nicely. I like how the match has been laid out so far. Tito started early with a lot of heat being pissed that had been screwed out of the title, but Macho took over some cheating, but finally got frustrated at not putting Santana away thus Tito has openings like a small package and Savage’s knee getting messed up. Savage goes in for the kill and hits a double axe-handle off the top rope onto the floor, but Macho man is still favoring the knee. Unwisely, Savage sneaks around and connects with a high-knee. Savage jumps over the guardrail and steals an usher’s chair , but whiffs and connects with the ringpost. Tito is able get a gut punch as Savage tries another double axe-handle off the top. Now Tito is just bashing Savage’s head off everything as Savage tries to stagger up the ramp. LIZ DO SOMETHING!!! Back in the ring, Tito signals for the Figure 4, but eye-rake saves Macho Man’s belt. Huge “Ti-to” chants! Back outside, Santana maintains the upper-hand. Savage blades off a steel ringpost shot, Liz is in tears. This is not looking good for the Master of Madness. Both men are selling extreme exhaustion (alliteration rulez). Slugfest, Savage finishes it with a eye-rake, but as Savage pulls back for another jab, down goes the ref. So we hit endgame.

Tito hits the Flying Burrito (flying forearm) and Santana is on top of Macho Man. BUT NO REF! Oooooooo Drama! Now Tito with another cover after a bodyslam, but still no referee. Savage with a knee into Tito’s kidney, but Tito applies the victory roll, however Savage reverses and grabs a handful of tights for leverage giving Savage the three-count. Macho bloodied and bruised escapes with the title. The Brain sings “La Cucaracha” to mock Tito and celebrate Savage’s victory. Wonderful.

Great, intense brawl from these two as I have not seen many Santana matches, this one has convinced me to seek out more. I would call this one slightly better than the title change in Boston, giving it **** and becoming Savage’s first **** match in the WWF.

Like I mentioned earlier Savage got programmed into some lame feuds with over the hill legends like Bruno Sammartino and George “The Animal” Steel. However, the next match is doubly intriguing not just because it is against another prolific wrestler in his prime, Jake The Snake Roberts, but it is a very rare heel vs heel match. Savage was the insane Wildman that cheated at all times and was borderline abusive towards Elizabeth. Roberts was cerebral, diabolical villain that in his own words was supposed to be the personification of the Devil, himself. Would the fans side with Satan or wild Savage, tune into find out on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Hail Satan!

WWF Intercontinental Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Jake “the Snake” Roberts

November 1986 Saturday Night’s Main Event

Mean Gene attempts to Liz’s feelings on snakes, but Savage says “Hey, Intercontinental Champ over here”. Mean Gene inquires if he is scared of snakes and Savages says he is going to skin Jake, himself and make him into a belt and boots. McMahon, on commentary, reminds us why he is called the genetic jackhammer as he creepily leers at Elizabeth. Savage licks his lips like a lizard and Jake sits in the corner brooding while the snake crawls around him. It is an impressive sight. In a rare occurrence, Liz and Savage don’t match. Jake with some pre-match shenanigans approaches Liz with the snake in hand. The fans are actually chanting “D-D-T!”, the name of Jake’s finisher, so that answers that question.  McMahon on the other hand finds Roberts transgressions reprehensible and roots for Savage to protect his woman, but Savage true to form hides behind Liz, runs from Damien (the python). McMahon must have been pissed at the crowd reaction then. Liz is rocking what can only be described as a rainbow sherbet dress.      

McMahon gets on my nerves by repeating the word, “sensational”. He wonders who will be the fan favorite in this match. Ventura declares that these are the two most hated villains in all of the WWE and he is interested in seeing the crowd dynamics. Savage is selling the snake so well, plenty of head games. McMahon picks Savage. Both establish they are heels by pulling each other’s hair. Roberts is a big dude, I always forget that, both are just going after each other’s hair. McMahon makes a bald joke at Jesse’s expense. Roberts is wrestling more babyface being on the attack early and Savage showing fear of snakes is not endearing the Macho Man to the crowd.  Failed DDT attempt gets the crowd to pop. Savage catches Roberts with a huge knee in the corner only gets a 2 and Ventura does not think Savage has worn Jake down enough. Jesse says we are going to get some “Good down-home cheating.” And McMahon is incredulous. Savage controls the matches with an assortment of strikes, but can only get 2 counts and starts to choke Jake on the top rope. Savage’s assault has  been relentless, but nothing big and that is Ventura’s correct criticism. Jake the Snake is tied up in the ropes and Savage grabs the snake in the bag and hides it under the ring to help his mental sanity. Jake The Snake breaks free and catches Savage with a knee to the head.    Jake the Snake with his patented short-arm clothesline, but Savage gets his foot on the ropes. The fans are chanting “D-D-T!”, Roberts feigns the DDT and delivers a front suplex, which McMahon and Ventura don’t know the name of, amateur hour. Hands of stone are displayed by Jake The Snake and he blocks a Savage right. Roberts goes for the DDT and Savage hooks the ropes before it can be delivered. Macho Man hides behind LIZ and when Roberts goes for Damien, he blindsides him with a high-knee. Savage hits it in combination with a double axe-handle out of the ring. Savage with another one, but he gets greedy and Jake the Snake reverses.  Just out and out fight as neither man can get the advantage. Savage vents his frustration by shoving the ref away.  Roberts takes advantage of the situation, but when the ref tries to restore order  Jake the Snake shoves him outta the ring. Macho Man throws some furniture into the ring and the ref calls the match a double disqualification. Jake the Snake grabs his snake and rubs it all over the Macho Man. Everyone high-tails it.

What a track meet, goddamn I am out of breath just watching this. The match was all about teasing the DDT and Savage doing everything in his power to escape it. Yet McMahon and Ventura wonder why Roberts was the fan favorite. He was the aggressor that was not backing down. Savage was the one hiding behind women and cheating. Interesting dynamic and definitely worth a  watch, but it is not a clean, decisive finish. The match is a bit short and would have benefited from 10 more minutes, I have seen as high as ****. I give it ***1/2.

The Lord and Master of The Ring

In contrast to the previous two unseen matches, I could probably recite from memory the blow-by-blow account of the next match between Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat vs “Macho Man” Randy Savage. To say it is an excellent ***** match is an understatement. This may be the single greatest match in Wrestlemania history and in wrestling history. While shooting hoops in the backyard, I compiled a list of ***** matches in the history of Wrestlemania:

WWF I-Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Ricky “the Dragon” Steamboat – WM III
Career vs Career: “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs The Ultimate Warrior – WM VII
Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs Owen Hart – WM X
WWF I-C Champion Razor Ramon vs Shawn Michaels Ladder Match – WM X
Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs “Stone Cold” Steve Austin Submission Match WMXIII
World Heavyweight Champion Triple H vs Chris Beniot vs Shawn Michaels WM XX
Shawn Michaels vs Kurt Angle WM XXI
Shawn Michaels vs Undertaker WM XV

So by my count over the course of 28 Wrestlemanias (which have between 8-10 matches/card), there have only been 8 perfect ***** matches. (There is a reason Shawn Michaels is dubbed Mr. Wrestlemania).  However, the first perfect match was a contest between the Macho Man and the Dragon one that many current superstars point to the reason they are wrestlers (Chris Jericho has specifically said this).  The match has everything a classic wrestling match needs two tremendous workers, a heated feud, some romance, and a whole lot of ass-kicking.

Steamboat had befriended the zany, loveable George The Animal, but Macho Man saw him as another threat to his reign. So Savage put Steamboat out of wrestling for good by collapsing Steamboat’s voicebox with the ring bell. Or so he thought, McMahon ran a bunch of vignettes of Steamboat trying to relearn how to speak climaxing with challenging Savage to a title bout at the biggest show in the history of wrestling: Wrestlemania III at the sold-out Pontiac Silverdome in front of 93,000+ fans, an indoor attendance record for North America in terms of any event until broken by I think a Papal visit by Pope John Paul II (GO CATHOLICS!!!). The reason for the sell-out was the Match of the Century as WWF World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan was taking on the undefeated, unstoppable Andre The Giant. However, McMahon always savvy knew that would be a lumbering contest and worked to put together one of the most athletic contests by pitting Savage and Steamboat together. So as Savage so eloquently states in his pre-match promo for this match: HISTORY BECKONS THE MACHO MAN!!! It is this match among others why Randy Savage has not died and will never die in our minds and hearts. Rest in Peace, Randy.

WWF Intercontinental Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Ricky “the Dragon” Steamboat

Wrestlemania III

Goosebumps. Just immediate goosebumps knowing what I am about to witness. Savage threatens to put Steamboat out of action for good because he is the “Lord and Master of the Ring”. They have the motorized carts to get down the ridiculous rampway, which was actually for Andre’s poor health condition. Liz is in a lovely shade of pink and Savage in a brilliant crimson and blue robe. Stemaboat, who I have met and is incredibly nice guy, but kinda sucks at promos, which was the only thing holding him back from being the greatest wrestler in history. Steamboat is accompanied by George “The Animal” Steele and Gorilla and Jesse The Body are on commentary. Savage is wearing his iconic pink tights with yellow boots with white stars. Savage with some early stalling moves Liz to the “proper” corner away from The Animal. Awwwwww how sweet and totally un-neurotically controlling. The Dragon begins the match with deep arm-drags and picks up Savage by the throat with double-goozle. He breaks on four and Jesse The Body is right on the apparent good guy for breaking the rules flagrantly. Savage takes a powder. In his defense, Macho did crush his larynx, I would be pissed too.

Savage plays cat and mouse and gains the advantage. Jesse declares he is best talent in the wrestling world today and Gorilla begrudgingly agrees. Since leverage wristlock by Steamboat and then wrings the arm over the top rope. Savage stops the arm work by pulling the hair in combination with a reverse elbow. Then he sends Steamboat over the top. Both men are on point with selling Savage his arm and Steamboat having his hard. Gorilla says to look at the back of the cranium of The Animal which is nasty and wrinkled and Jesse echoes those sentiments by saying it is disgusting. Savage impedes Steamboat from getting in with a kick, but lets him in on his own terms by pulling him up by the hair.  The Macho Man always looking to lend a helping hand.

Big elbow right to the injured throat of the Steamboat and the crowd is getting pissed as Savage is in firm control. Macho Man pulls him up by the hair, snapmares him in and gets a two count off a standing elbow. Big kneedrop gets two and the crowd gets hot as Steamboat makes his first comeback with big karate chops. Savage is tied up in the ropes and Jesse immediately takes Steamboat to task for not breaking. Gorilla points out that Savage forfeited that courtesy when he tried to maim Steamboat. Just a brilliant story of the usually well-mannered Steamboat getting revved up because of Savage’s mean streak and ability to get under one’s skin. High cross-body by Steamboat gets two, shoulder blocks get two, they are cutting such a tremendous pace by fuckin fingers cant keep up with them. GO! GO! GO!

Macho Man breaks his momentum with a classic high-knee to the back. Savage thinks he sends him out but Steamboat skins the cat as the crowd pops. Savage clothesline him out to finish the job. The crowd is red-hot for such a large stadium crowd.

“You got to get up pretty early in the morning to outsmart the Macho Man” Jesse The Body. I am stealing that, don’t mind if I do.

The Animal goes to aid his incapacitated companion and Ventura has this quip, “There is the Animal, the Rhodes Scholar that he is, giving advice.” Jesse is on fiy-ah. Savage sneak attacks Steamboat with a huge high-knee that sends Steamboat over the guardrail. Jesse goes on a hilarious rant about the incompetence of the ref and the hypocrisy of Gorilla supporting the Animal’s help of the Dragon.  The Animal carries Steamboat back into the ring to avoid the countout. Savage sends him back to the outside to hit his double axe-handle on the outside. Savage breaks the count, then brings Stemaboat back in for a double axe-handle and a pin attempt. Gorilla says he snuck out the back door as Savage follows that up by dropping Steamboat throat first across the top rope. What a dastardly heel he is and Steamboat’s sell is beautiful. Gets a two. Atomic drop gets a two. Macho Man is throwing everything at him. Textbook suplex says Jesse gets only two. Gorilla says Steamboat’s resilience is “guts personified”. Savage hits a gutwrench suplex, my favorite type of suplex always looks nasty, and only gets two. Is Savage pulling a LeBrick? Yep still pissed. Jesse thinks it a slow-count. Steamboat gets a breather with a big back body drop that takes Macho Man to the outside. Well-executed rope a dope strategy by the Steamer here as Savage is exhausted from all the offense he has hit and Stemaboat is peaking at right time. Steamboat connects with a flying karate chop inside the ring on the Macho Man. It only gets two as Savage barley gets his foot on the ropes. I will be honest, the first time I watched this they got me with that false finish and by the sound of the crowd response they got about a 1/3 of the crowd too. False finishes are super sexy; I am a total sucker for them.

Now Steamboat is a house of fire with karate chops getting a series of two counts. What a pace!!! Sunset flip by Steamboat only gets two, Savage wildly misses and a Steamboat rollup gets two. A single sweep gets two, small package gets two, but crowd pops for it like a win. Good false finish. Catapult inot the corner, another jackknife pin gets two. Savage misses wildly again, victory roll by Steamboat, Savage reverses with a handful of tights, shades of the Tito match, GREAT FALSE FINISH! I knew the first time I watched already, who won, but had I not known it would have gotten me.  Savage with a great leverage move sends Steamboat crashing into the corner. Savage is a warrior. A reversal of Irish whips sends Steamboat crashing into the ref. Sitout clothesline and the BIG ELBOW~! BUT THERE IS NO REF!!! Savage tries to revive the ref. Then he is like fuck it, might as well grab the ring bell and really end this muthafucka’s career, but The Animal puts a stop to that by grabbing the bell. So Savage kicks him in the back of the head, which gives the Animal just cause to push Savage off the top and I think Savage’s head was supposed to ram the ring bell, but it didn’t look good. As Savage goes for a bodyslam, Steamboat had recovered enough to reverse it into a small package and the CROWD POPS!!!!

What else is there that needs to be said. It is an ultimate classic of wrestling canon. ***** Just go watch it.

Well, our hero does not take this lying down as he would move onto bigger and better things. OOOOOOOHHHHHH YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Macho Madness: The Macho Beginnings

Hey yo bromigoes and bromigas,

Goddamnit, Miami. Here I am preaching your Good Word and you make me look like a tool. Come on, Bron Bron and D-Wade, time to prove Love does conquer all, right? Right? RIGHT?

Bcuz we are just Too SWEEEEEET!

This one will be a bit shorter due to my other obligations as we hit the way-back machine all the way back to late 1985. Randy Savage is actually a second-generation wrestler as he is the son of Angelo Poffo, who has a brother, Lanny Poffo best known for his run as The Genius in the WWF. Poffo ran an outlaw territory in Tennessee that conflicted with the Lawler/Jarrett enterprise in Memphis. These promotions took bitter swipes at one another in what many believe to be a shoot. Savage, being the top dog in the ICW, actually would publically call out Jerry “The King Lawler (top star in the rival promotion) with some scathing remarks. In 1983, the Poffo promotion closed up shop and Savage was greeted with some unexpected good news, Lawler and Jarrett were willing to take him in and setup him as a top heel. Memphis Wrestling was one of the premiere promotions in the country at this point (this is before McMahon created the idea of the national promotion).

Savage was instantly programmed into a hot feud with top babyface, Jerry “the King” Lawler and the fans were out for his blood. The Macho Man and The King battled inside a steel cage in a match rated as highly as ****3/4, but I have only seen clipped version. Only in Memphis would a cage match end in DQ as another heel (Josh Le Duc) scaled this rickety cage to attack Lawler. Savage would team up with his brother Lanny to feud with the good ‘ol Southern boys, the Rock N Roll Express. Savage, apparently got nuclear heat when he piledrove the loveable Ricky Morton through a table. This was in 1984 and was among the first table spots and it was before people thought to pre-cut tables. Savage turned face at some point and feuded with likes of Rick Rude, before he was ravishing. By the time, summer of 1985 came around, Mr. McMahon came knocking at his doorstep to make him a top superstar in his great nationalization project for his WWF. Savage, again a heel, lost a Loser Leaves Town match against Lawler with a thrilling finish (they feigned a Savage victory and the place went nuclear).  Savage’s Wildman character-work was recognized quickly by McMahon as ground-breaking and within 6 months he was programmed to work with biggest superstar in the history of wrestling: Hulk Hogan.

Yes, explosion of the Mega-Powers and the love triangle with Elizabeth is the most memorable chapter of wrestling’s greatest frenemies, but 1985 marked the beginning. The Mecca of the WWF has always been Madison Square Garden (the WWF started off as the Northeast territory) and Hogan worked all the big names in the main event. For two years, McMahon plucked the greatest wrestlers across the world and fed them to his indestructible hero, The Immortal One. Savage proved an interesting threat to the reign of the Hulkster smaller than Big John Studd, King Kong Bundy, bigger than the incendiary “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, crazier than “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff, and more aerial than fellow crazy fucker Terry Funk. Plus he had someone in his corner that none of these competitors as he had the charming, lovely Miss Elizabeth. The incredible, volatile, yet productive relationship between these two revolutionized pro wrestling as Elizabeth essentially created a niche for women personalities in the product. So with that introduction we take a look at the first trilogy between the Macho Man and the Hulkster.

Look at those million dollar smiles

WWF World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan vs Macho Man Randy Savage

December 1985 Madison Square Garden

Savage and Elizabeth are in matching blue and white sequins, but Savage throws it off with a pair of yellow shield sunglasses. I guess that foreshadows his wacky color combinations in the mid-90s. Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes are on commentary. Real American hits and the crowd goes bananas. Hogan is the epitome of the 80s so cheesy, so shameless, just fun. This version of the WWF title looks like just another title, McMahon would a better job making his main title look unique on all iteration. Yes that is my nice way of complimenting the stupid-ass spinner belt. Savage jaws at Hogan because he is MACHO and FEARS NO MAN! Savage with an early posedown and Lord Alfred doesn’t get humor. Early establishment that Hogan is stronger than Savage. He blows a kiss at Liz. LOOK AT THOSE EYES AND SEE HOW THEY LUST!!!!

Savage in full Memphis heel mode looks to stall early on with lots of powdering out to the floor. Savage throws some furniture in the ring looking to psych out Hogan, but Lord Alfred doesn’t grasp this bit of psychology because he sucks. Savage gets his first bit of offense thanks to a thumb to the eye, but he misses a straddle on the ropes. Hogan pummels Savage with some power moves, an atomic drops catapults Savage out to the floor. Macho Man, living up to his name, hides behind Elizabeth and Hogan being the Paragon of Virtue he is returns to the ring. Hogan catches Savage off the top rop in mid-air and Lord Alfred is besides himself. Backbreaker and Savage goes back to the tried and true strategy of hiding behind Elizabeth. Savage gets caught jawing with a fan and Hogan attacks him from behind, but Savage gains control with a pair of double axe-handles, one onto the floor.  Savage now has total control using hit and run tactics. Savage, in Memphis heel form, plays a lot to the crowd. Hogan presses Savage off him and here comes the HULK-UP!!! HE FEELS NO PAIN!!! Big boot and Savage takes a powder, smart move. Hogan picks up Elizabeth and gently puts her down to get at the Macho Man. Hogan telegraphs the back body drop and Savage gets the adavantage to hit the big elbow. Macho Man is pissed because he got a close two. Hogan runs over the ref by accident and a high-knee to the back of Hogan’s head sends him crashing to the outside. So Savage gets the World Title and climbs to the top and smashes it over Hogan’s head. He revives the ref and helps him countout Hogan. The commentary team brow-beat the listener that Savage has not won the title because it a victory by countout. Savage decks the ref for trying to take belt from him. So he leaves the Garden with Hogan’s belt and Elizabeth over his shoulder like a true Macho Man.

This by the way is one of the ultra-rare Savage victories over the Hulkster as he would never beat Hogan by pinfall or submission. I liked this match a lot as an 80s match with lots of classic heap heel work by Savage. Hogan played his role well as the powerful champion trying to contend with Savage’s distractions and cheap-shots. Not enough action to make it a must-watch, but it is the first match between these two legends so I would give it a look-see. ***1/2

Classsic Picture of the Hulkster from 1986.

WWF World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan vs “Macho Man” Randy Savage

January 1986 Madison Square Garden

We hit the ground running as soon as Hogan slides into the ring Savage is on the attack laying the boots on him. Hidden highlight, Savage keeps on his impressive, blue sequined robe so as not to telegraph it to the Hulkster. Little things, people. A much smarter start to the match for Savage than the cocky posedown start, O God he is learning.  Mean Gene believes that Savage is Hogan’s toughest opponent yet. O THANK THE COMMENTATING GODS!!! JESSE THE BODY VENTURA IS HERE! After listening to Lord Alfred’s vapid musings this will be like water to my ears having spent a night in the desert.

Savage clobbers Hogan with a double axe-handle. Hogan still has belt on and Savage still has his shades on. Savage chokes Hogan with his own shirt, and now has the belt and beating the living hell out of Hogan. Gorilla and I are amazed at the incompetence of the ref, while Ventura is wringing his hands at the prospect of Hogan losing. Liz thinks Savage is going overboard, which causes him to measure her with his hand on her chin. The crowd has been bonkers. Hogan gets his energy back and takes over on Savage with power moves and a “sucker-puncher” according to Jesse. Hogan is now wearing the Macho Man’s shades and mocking Savage’s crazy antics to the delight of the crowd.  After an oversell of the atomic drop onto the outside, Hogan rams Savage head-first into the steel ring post and Jesse demands a disqualification. Savage is busted wide open.  Gorilla points out the earlier leniency of the ref and now he should be fair. Gorilla and Jesse were so good together plus I love how Jesse says “Gorilla”. All Hulkster with punches on the outside to the Macho Man and throws him back in. Savage’s selling is a thing of beauty. His bumping for Hogan makes Hogan look like a Superman. We have a five-alarm bladejob as Savage’s blood is all over Hogan’s chest. Ventura is pissy about Hogan’s choking. Elizabeth distracts Hogan long enough for Savage to take control. He sends Hogan shoulder first into the ringpost and then comes off the top onto Hogan with a double axe-handle. Now another but inside the ring and follows it up with a big elbow. RUH ROH!!! HULK-UP!!!! HE FEELS NO PAIN!!!! Hogan clobbers Savage with a huge clothesline in the corner and Savage is on spaghetti legs. BIG BOOT! Ventura wants a ref stoppage and Gorilla notes that this ref blows because he has not insomuch as checked on Savage’s cut.

Hogan hoists Savage up onto his shoulder to attempt another head-first ram into the steel ring post. This time Elizabeth is there to stop him from doing. He turns around and Liz makes haste to the other post. Savage is able to slide down his back and send him into the post. Savage beats out the ref’s count and declares Macho Man the winner, which was confusing because this was the suckiest ref ever and no one heard or saw a count.

Hogan, a sore loser, attacks Savage after the match with a bear-hug slam. Ventura points out the hypocrisy of Hogan abusing Savage after the bell. While the wrestlers are separating the, Savage gets a cheap-shot in, which Ventura rightfully defends. Ventura points out this is two victories in a row for the Macho Man albeit by countout, which just demonstrates that Hogan has a yellow-streak a mile wide and was afraid of losing his title to Savage. Loved this match, a bit on the short side. Savage’s bladejob was brutal and his bumping made Hogan look like a million bucks No wonder Hogan preferred working with him rather than the immobile Bundy. Hogan had his working boots on tonight, too short to be truly spectacular. ***1/2.
Next up is the big blowoff match between the Hulkster and the Macho Man at Madison Square Garden for the WWF World Title in a lumberjack match. Hogan you will have nowhere to run and hide now. In the meantime, Savage has won the Intercontinental Championship from Tito Santana more on that later.

See always told everyone that animal-print is MACHO~! Haters bite me!

WWF World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan vs “Macho Man” Randy Savage – Lumberjack Match

February 1986 Madison Square Garden
The quality sucks a bit on this one, but beggars cant be choosers. Savage and Liz are celebrating Halloween early with matching orange and black outfits. Fuck. Lord Alfred is on commentary. Gorilla mentions he stole the title from Tito. Hogan busts out his alternate blue/white uniform for this special blowoff match. The commenters mention that Bundy had injured his ribs the previous week. This time around, Hogan is the one who attack from behind. We get a slugfest to start and Hogan wins. Now he is cracking the belt over the Savage’s head blatantly in front of the ref, this time not drawing the ire of Gorilla. Hypocrite. Hogan goes for the usual atomic drop spot, but surprises me with a belly-to-back suplex. You are a sly bear, Hulkster. Hogan sends Savage to be among the lumberjacks.  Hogan goes out to beat on Savage running the point of the match. Now Hogan lifts him up by the throat choking him and now we hit the bearhug. He sends him crashing into the corner. It has been all Hogan and we get the atomic drop. A heel trips Hogan and he goes out there and gives them the business. The commentators puts over his guts going into the lion’s den.  This affords Savage the opportunity to recover and a double axe-handle onto the ribs garners Macho Man a two-count. Savage wisely sends Hogan to the wolves and they attack Hogan punctuated by Bundy crushing Hogan against the steel ring post. Savage is like fuck it, why don’t you guys just finish him. Bundy does it again for Savage with pleasure. Macho Man connects with another double axe-handle on the ribs and a sitout clothesline by Savage. However, Macho Man can only get two-counts. Now, Savage exposes the ribs and hits him with another double axe-handle and another two-count. The crowd is coming alive for Hogan as they sense his desperate situation. Yet another double axe-handle onto the exposed ribs and Savage cant control Hogan to gain the pinfall. THE BIG ELBOW~! HIUGE KICK-OUT!!! THE COCAINE IS KICKING IN NOW!!! HULK-UP!!! Hogan no-sells an eye-rake. A fucking douchebag babyface (that idiot George "The Animal" Steele) trips Savage into the leg drop and Hogan gets the win. Hogan was such a spaz.

Great match again, but instead of a violent bloody brawl, they did an excellent Hogan match where he had to overcome tremendous odd. However, Savage needed to vary his offense and do more interesting character work on his heat segment.  I am going with ***.

Sorry HonkyTonk Man, this guy was a greater I-C Champion. 

While Savage lost his big blowoff, he did win the Intercontinental title (the secondary title in the WWF, a sort of stepping stone to the World Title) from Tito Santana at the Boston Garden (hometown pop). Here we go:

WWF Intercontinental Champion Tito Santana vs “Macho Man” Randy Savage
February 1986 Boston Garden

DVD Quality and Jesse Ventura on commentary, I am halfway to Heaven. I love the old-school setup on the parquet floor with no paddings. Savage and Liz are met by catcalls and boos. Santana was pretty over with the Boston crowd. Tito, who had been pissed at Savage, throws his shirt at the Macho Man. Savage does have an amazing ability to get under someone’s skin. Ventura says he would pay to see this match. I have watched this many a time and I do love it. Away we go as Savage designates where Liz should stand.

Tito wins the first lock-up. The collar elbow tie-up is a stalemate. They do some standing amateur wrestling, Savage gets to the ropes and do some cheap heat tactics with the front row. Gorilla puts over Savage’s character as a jealous boyfriend. Savage gets the first strike in on Tito, Gorilla suspects a thumb to the eye. Savage jaws with some more fans and Chico (Jesse’s name for Tito) seeks out Savage. Big shot off the top for Santana, Savage turns it into a track meet, but as Chico gives chase, Savage has the opportunity to waffle him.  Big atomic drop for Tito, but Savage’s foot was in the ropes. Eye-rake gives Savage the advantage and Gorilla reminds us that Savage has to beat Tito. Sitout clothesline gets only a two-count and Savage is shocked and frustrated. Savage perched up high connects with a double axe-handle. Gorilla critiques Savage’s cover and the fans gets behind Santana with Tito chants.  Savage delivers a double axe-handle onto the floor onto Santana. Ventura is worried that Savage may turn to get himself intentionally disqualified to preserve his belt. Santana takes advantage with strikes and gets his a second-rope flying elbow to the head of Macho Man. Savage’s foot was on the rope. Ventura sends “Unbelievable”, which always makes me giggle. Seriously when he says “Unbelievable “ it is the coolest thing ever. I tweeted about it once.  No retweets. Bo. *tear*

Tito runs into a knee into the corner and Savage only gets a two-count, but he presses Savage onto the ref. Santana gets a small package on Savage, but the ref is groggy.  Savage wrecks his knee on a missed knee-drop. Chico is going after the leg like a shark says Jesse and Tito slaps on the figure 4 leglock in the center of the ring. Savage reverses the pressure and makes the ropes. Gorilla commends Savage on his intestinal fortitude. Savage looks for something in his tights, but Chico suplexes him back into the ring. Santana looks for the Figure 4, but Macho Man kicks him off. Savage back on the apron fishes in his tights for a foreign object. He swings and misses and as Chico belly-to-back suplexes into the ring, Savage WAFFLE-LEGS HIM!!! The pin is academic and Savage is your NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!!!

“You gotta call it brilliant, Gorilla” – Jesse. Great, athletic encounter from two of the workhorses of this era. I think more near falls for Tito would have helped the drama of this match, maybe more work on Savage’s leg. I never really popped out of my seat thinking “Oh damn, I thought for sure that was the finish.” Add some false finishes and a better heat segment and you have a classic. As it stands, ***1/2.

Next we look at the matches that made the Macho Man one of the greatest I-C Champions of all-time during his over one-year title reign. The climax will of course be against Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat at Wrestlemania III in front of 93,000 people in what some herald as the greatest match in history.







  

Macho Madness: Die Hard Edition

Hey yo bromigoes and bromgias,

Busy day, applying to jobs. Just going to get to it.

The past three reviews have focused on Randy Savage in an unnatural state as a babyface. Don’t get me wrong Randy Savage is a great babyface. However, heel Randy Savage is his work that made him one of the legendary figures in the history of pro wrestling. In July of 1996, the wrestling world was turned upside down when Hulk Hogan, the epitome of good, turned heel and founded the New World Order with Kevin Nash and Scott Hall. This led to greatest wrestling boom in history. Yes, folks, Hulk Hogan can point to the fact that he ushered in two separate wrestling booms in two different decades. The man is very good at what he does.

New-New-New-New World Order. For-For-For-For Life 

Savage after fighting the nWo (I hate autocorrect so much every time I spell out nWo it changes it to now, fuck it) through the winter of ’96. Savage figures if you cant beat ‘em join ‘em.  He became the nWo’s workhorse and picked a fight with a wrestler by the name of “Diamond” Dallas Page (DDP for short) over Kimberly (his wife and total hottie) appearing in Playboy. This is my all-time favorite Savage promo as he manages to imply he had sex with Pamela Anderson and says Liz and Tommy Lee were both cool with it. Then he spray-paints DDP and Liz spray-paints Kimberly. It was deliciously nasty. Of course, DDP, who had been rejecting the nWo’s overtures to join had to fight for his honor and challenged Savage to a No Disqualification match.

Brief background on DDP: he actually started as a scuzz-ball manager for wrestlers not particularly cast as a good one, just a real sleazy one. Think of how band managers are usually portrayed in the movies. He began wrestling late into the 30’s, much later than most. He kept his scumbag from Jersey gimmick, very white trash. Then in 1997 for whatever reason, WCW decided to turn him babyface giving him the gimmick of the common man that is going it along to fight the unstoppable machine known as the New World Order. Page, stood his ground, asking help from no man and proved himself to a true gritty, blue-collar warrior in this nearly year-long feud. 

The Common Man and his Uncommon Wife

“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs “Diamond” Dallas Page in a No Disqualification Match.

Spring Stampede 1997

Savage’s backstage rant was hilariously spectacular. “I’m going to moiderize the bum. Then I am going to to throw a party. Invite a lot of women. Maybe 14 or 22. You got a problem with that, Liz? Not a problem. I LIKE THAT! SLIM JIMS FOR EVERYONE!!!”

Kimberly’s waist is wicked tiny and double damn is she hot. DDP and Kimberly walk to the ring with a purpose and Tony shills that DDP is the common man, a People’s Champion that has a story that resonates with everyone. Savage taunts DDP telling him that this is “his last day on the planet Earth”.  Savage does some stalling tactics, but Page is pissed and he takes to the Macho Man. Page is so pissed he almost kills Savage on a horrible atomic drop. Savage blocks the Diamond Cutter by hooking the ropes. Savage runs over DDP on the outside and almost takes on Kim. They do the usual 1997 tour of the arena with garbage cans and cables.

I have a string of pearls for those girls.

Back to ringside, Savage, the Paragon of Virtue, her is, pulls Kim hides behind DDP’s wife to halt DDP’s momentum. Elizabeth, lookin fineeeeeee, rakes DDP’s back and Savage shoves Kim into DDP and the waffles DDP sandwhiching Kimberly. Kimberly, who was not a fan of wrestling and never seemed very into it, must have hated working with Savage. Macho Man was a terrifying loose cannon that just flew around ringside like a whirlwind really knocking anything over that got in his way. An overzealous fan attempts to spur on DDP with such exhortations as “Look out behind you! He is going after Kimberly!” Alas, Savage is still able to connect with his double axe-handle as DDP was draped over the guardrails. Got to love, marks. Savage sends DDP into the ring steps and he seems oddly deliberate, maybe it is because DDP and him realized that DDP would blow up if they wrestled the usual Savage pace. I like it because it gives a new wrinkle to the Savage formula and it is almost more vicious.

Macho Man goes for a cover with his feet on the ropes, but DDP kicks out. Savage accuses the ref of a slow count and Liz thinks the ref needs glasses. Um, ok? Strike One against the ref. Savage jumps out to ringside and intimidates Michael Buffer taking his chair. He smacks DDP across the back with his chair. The ref grabs the chair and removes it. Strike Two against the ref. Savage now pissed. Beat the ever-loving shit out of the ring announcer and tosses the chair into the ring, but that allows the debilitated DDP to get back into the match. The announcers put over DDP’s will to win and defend Kimberly even as Savage is picking him apart. Savage kills DDP with a clothesline. Savage catches DDP’s foot, which leads to the usual DDP spot, where he spins around and hits a desperation clothesline. Even dumb Tony saw it coming making Savage look kind of dumb. 

That dastardly Macho Man. OOOOOHHHHH YEEEAAAAHHHH!!! Dig It!

The move took too much of DDP and Savage regains the advantage with a low-blow, however DDP continues to try to get his feet, really putting over his guts. Savage again intimidates Buffer, this time grabbing his signature weapon: the ring bell. Savage randomly shoves a cameraman. People must hate working Savage matches, such a Wildman. Kimberly snags the ringbell eventually, come on Kim, fuckin up the match. Savage to the top, but DDP gets his boot up and a beautiful sell-job by Savage. He now hit one of Savage’s favorite spot a backslide, which only gets two. Strike Three against the ref, you are outta here. Savage grabs the ref by the chin, paintbrushes him, piledrives him, rips his shirt, takes his belt off, and finally whips him and then whips DDP. HEEL SAVAGE IS THE FUCKIN MAN!!!!

The Brain wonders if the ref will ever walk again because he only has a 12 inch neck. BWHAHAHAHAHA Tony wonders WHAT HAVE WE BECOME????? Riveting, cutting social commentary. Apparently, someone explained to Dusty what playing possum is as he understands what Tony is talking about.

The heel turn resurrected both their careers.

A picture-perfect big elbow drop seriously that may be one of the best one ever by Savage (that was the desktop background for my computer when I was 8 years old for the longest time, could not find the picture). No ref. Evil nWo ref, Nick Patrick is out and embraces Savage. DDP, playing possum,  hits the Diamond Cutter, which WCW did a great job making it into a devastating finisher. Savage sells it well being out for a couple minutes. Patrick ends the drama by making the count giving DDP the win. “Big Sexy” Kevin Nash (nWo member) is incensed as he was observing and sticks Patrick with a powerbomb. Savage finally up goes LOONEY TUNES!!! Grabs Kimberly by the hair and threatens to deck her. This goes too far even for the nWo and Eric Bischoff (nWo president) steps in to calm down and reason with the Macho Man. So Savage shoves Bischoff and then decks him. That is why friends is why I love nWo Savage, totally unpredictable and out of control. You never knew what the hell he would do next. 

DDP is notorious for being a meticulous  pre-match planner. Most wrestlers work out the major spots beforehand, but fill in the gaps based on crowd reactions. Savage acknowledged that DDP couldn’t cut the pace he was accustomed to thus worked a very DDP-style match. Savage was great at adapting to different styles and really showed his versatility. He worked a deliberate pace, but it was still a chaotic Savage match as he was using everyone at ringside as props and ultimately decking his own boss. It is not a great match in  the traditional wrestling-way even as brawl. What it is a great character showcase. The gritty, gutsy common man fighting for his wife’s honor against a loose canon that has totally snapped and is steamrolling everyone. I give it ****.  DUH! I figured out another reason why the match was wrestled so undecidely Savage. They wanted to tell the story that Savage was not taking DDP seriously as in his league because DDP has been a career mid-carder and this is first ever PPV main event. Thus explaining why Savage’s intensity was down early on and why he fucked around with everyone. He took Page a lot more seriously in the following matches. I love it when storytelling becomes apparent.

I bet he is going to say scum or JAAAACCCCKKKKEEEDDDD!

Now that DDP has proved he can hang with the Macho Man. It is time for Savage to take DDP seriously and crush his dreams.

“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs “Diamond” Dallas Page – No DQ Match

Great American Bash 1997

Liz is in quite the sequined, black jumpsuit, Savage is all business and it looks like he finally taking DDP seriously. You know how I can tell he licks his lips like an insane gecko. Tony expects that this fight will go all over the arena and given DDP’s limitations, I agree.  “SELF HI-FIVE” and the Smells Like Jersey Scum plays over the speakers as the sexy as all hell Kimberly gives the Diamond Cutter signal in the entrance-way distracting the Madness. DDP sneak attacks the Macho Man, hell after Savage’s Wildman performance last time, DDP has some big balls just stepping in the ring with this Madman. Page has the infamous taped ribs, which would last approximately  2 years and would give his matches an instant sympathy card, while he looked like a million bucks in the fans’ eyes for fighting through the pain and gutting it out. It was like the reverse Cowboy Bob Orton arm injury. I think it was a good gimmick.

Early cutter attempt and Savage wisely takes a powder. Pescado over the top onto the floor by DDP wipes out the Macho Man, but Page hurts his ribs. The Brain questions the wisdom of the move given both the ribs and the fact he has never done such a high-risk move. Tony retorts this shows the guts of DDP and just the lengths he will go to hurt Savage. Savage right on the ribs because he smells blood, baby. Savage hides behind Liz, but this brings out DDP’s inner scumbag and tosses Liz out of the way and calls her a bimbo. B.I.M.B.O. B.I.M.B.O. B.I.M.B.O. and Bimbo was her name-o. I am getting a strong John McClane of Die Hard vibe from DDP, I am digging it, which Brain emphasizes that DDP is willing to take on the New World Order by himself and is a double tough man for it. Savage gets the eye-rake like a true Macho Man apparently how the ribs were injured was petite Liz slamming a car door on DDP’s side. Really, Liz was on the one to do that irreparable damage. Fear and adrenaline can do wild things for a woman, as we found out from Desperate Housewives. Now we take the tour of the arena with Savage in command until Page sends him into a brick wall in desperation. Dusty gets excited about the PLUNDAH~! (a crutch) And says that DDP is really rag-tagging him. What??? Savage gains himself a breather by sending DDP crashing ribs first into the ring steps. Then Liz gives Savage a mysterious white substance, *wink* *wink*. Before Savage can ride the white lightning to victory, DDP approaches so Savage tosses his “energy powder” into DDP’s face taking some sort of PLUNDAH from Page and breaking it over his head. Savage exposes the ribs as the announcers discuss the psychological affects, Dusty says now Savage is doing the rag-tagging. Fans chant for the everyone’s favorite recluse, “WE Want Sting!” to put an end to this inhumanity. Personally, I don’t think the Macho Man has even begun. Yep, I was right. Savage has a zero tolerance policy for the ref’s tonight. He spits on this one, decks him, tears his shirt off and piledrives him into next week. If this was Memphis, Savage would be in prison and that ref would be legally dead. DDP is kicking and clawing, even hitting a headbutt, I have never seen DDP do that. Savage tosses a second ref over the top. Story of the match: Savage is not fuckin around. DDP gets another flurry, but this is all Macho Man as he lariats him over the top rope.

Ruh roh, Savage catches sight of Kimberly and grabs her by the hair bringing her over the guardrail. This nearly causes a fuckin riot in the front row. Seriously everyone is yelling obscenities at the Macho Man and at least two guys are thinking about taking a swing at him. Heel Macho Man, everyone, that best in the business. Another ref and this one calms him down before anything he regrets happen. Classic Macho high-knee to DDP’s back as Page was trying to create separation up the ramp. They end up finding a gimmicked BBQ picnic area that some VIP fans are sitting at. DDP takes advantage of all this PLUNDAH~! Really turning the tide with it. Dusty desperately wants him to use the grill and pops like mad when it happens. I love Big Dust. DDP leads Savage back to the ring by choking him with his own shirt. Once back, he sets up Savage to go balls-first into the ringpost. Signals for the Cutter, so Savage hits the jawbreaker, he really should stop signaling for it. Savage removes the protective mats off the floor and looks to maim DDP by piledriving him on the exposed concrete. When the ref tries to stop him, Savage decks him. ZERO TOLERANCE. Savage, being an uber-dick, decides to physically intimidate a photographer at ringside. I have watched wrestling for 15 years and 99% of everything you see is choreographed. But when Savage goes on his rampages of attacking cameramen and other ringside attendants you just don’t know. I love that of feeling chaos.

This gives DDP enough time to get hold of a chair and waffle Savage. Savage counters with a low-blow. Page reverses a suplex attempt into the DIAMOND CUTTER~! WCW did such a good job putting over that finisher as deadly. Savage does his job and sells it like a champ.  But the is NO REF, Tony. The crowd is going apeshit. Here comes Scott Hall (nWo member) with the WCW Tag Team title in tow. He is ineffective at first, but the numbers game catch up to DDP as Savage clobbers him with the belt from behind. Outsider Edge (Crucifix Powerbomb) by Hall on Page that almost ends up getting fucked up, but it was one of the better ones I have seen. Hall tells Savage to go up top and hit him with elbow. Savage, ever-present of trying to get just that much more heat from the crowd, goes to a different corner. Why? So he can kick the unconscious ref. It is the little things that make Savage the greatest. Big elbow and the pin is academic.

This time the New World Order and Savage don’t fuck around. There is no deliberate attacks from Savage and a true nWo member comes out to make sure that Savage gets the duke. I don’t feel this match is quite up to snuff of the other two, but I don’t feel like splitting hairs and using quarter stars. This is a very good match and tells a great story. ***1/2

The Bad Guy

With that tainted finish, DDP finally realized he needed some reinforcements, which lead him to bring in Curt Hennig (Mr. Perfect in WWF) as his tag partner to combat the nWo of Randy Savage and Scott Hall. After some miscommunication between those two, he recruited, our old friend the “Total Package” Lex Luger to team against Savage and Hall. Finally at Halloween Havoc, the big blowoff to the feud would take place in a Death Match. Don’t worry, while Savage may have threatened to murder Page back in April, the outcome of this match is not that the loser dies. Rather, you win by incapacitating your opponent so they can not answer a ten count. This match has been re-branded a Last Man Standing match in modern times for obvious reason.

“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs “Diamond” Dallas Page – Death Match

Halloween Havoc 1997

     

Liz is rocking sexy leather short shorts. HAVE MERCY!!! OOOOHHHH YEEEEEAAAAHHHH!! Savage’s promo before this is a thing of beauty. “Slim Jim’s Halloween Havoc. Snap Into It! Check it out! Party Time. Las Vegas. It’s a gamble. But we like to gamble, don’t we? YES WE DO!!!!” DDP is in jeans because this is not a wrestling match, scumbag (DDP had a real penchant for using the word scumbag). This is a FIGHT~! Savage is choosing instead to rep his Slim Jim’s deal on his jacket, well Savage is fuckin BATSHIT so he doesn’t need jeans to convey he is in for a FIGHT~! The infamous ribs are still taped.  No Kimberly.

“Savage will drive you nuts” – The Brain, perfect.

They start outside, obviously, with Savage gaining the early advantage by working over the ribs. Page with nasty biel using Savage’s own shirt. Page hesitates allows Savage to hotshot DDP across the top rope. Macho Man is using combination of jabs and chokes to maintain control in the corner. Brief flurry of offense from DDP ends with both men colliding in a double clothesline. Dusty takes him to time define a double clothesline, which renders colleagues speechless that he spent time to explain something so self-explanatory.  I LOVE BIG DUST! Failed Diamond Cutter attempt leads to Page performing his pescado onto Macho Man on the floor. Dusty wonders why they are not using the “Utensils and PLUNDAH~!” Savage clobbers DDP with a double axe-handle as he was draped across the guardrail. Savage then connects with a nasty axe-handle off the guardrail onto a prone Page in the crowd. Sick spot. When Savage shouts “Move out of the way!” you move the fuck out of the way because he will run your bitch-ass over. Dusty is excited as the prospect of PLUNDAH~! Instead of a BBQ picnic, there is a prop cemetery setup with prop tombstones that Page uses to regain advantage and then hits Savage with some sort of object, which prompts the Dream to go into hysterics just shouting “HE WAFFLE-LEGGED HIM!” His colleagues try to continue commentating, but Dusty has gone into a trance just repeating that. Say it with me, I love Big Dust. Dusty informed me it is a “waitress tray” and Tony basically says “What the fuck?”Savage’s continuous work on the ribs is affecting DDP’s ability to string together offense, good selling and psychology from Page. Savage finally breaks his momentum sending him ribs first into the steel guardrail, but DDP semi-blocks it. DDP is left to crawl away, while Savage regains his wits, I mean he did he just get WAFFLE-LEGGED. Most people don’t recover from getting WAFFLE-LEGGED!!! You know why Savage is able to? BECAUSE HE IS MACHO~! The Power of Slim Jims Compels!



Savage sends his ribs and then his “noggin” into steel ringsteps. But Page just keeps on coming because he has guts. Savage frustrated, smacks around a cameraman, steals camera. DDP blocks his close-up with two feet sending the camera right into the Macho Man’s face. As both men are out, Liz somehow has found Dusty’s phantom waitress, stolen her tray and proceeds to WAFFLE-LEG the referee. Immediately, Dusty is rubbing it in his colleagues faces that no one believed him about the waitress tray and for the second time, Dusty has rendered his partners silent. Holy Fuck, Liz is choking DDP with a cable, (“Extension Cord” according to Dusty). Kim comes out to put a stop that nonsense. She is all like “I am the only woman who can choke my husband for sexual pleasure, you vixen” Liz is all like “Why did Randy say I would do this spot. He doesn’t even invite me to his parties anymore.” Dusty is all like “CATFIGHT!  CATFIGHT!  CATFIGHT!  CATFIGHT!  CATFIGHT! “ Finally they get the waffle-legged referee out of there, Kimberly drags Liz to back by the hair. Savage is up and there is a new ref for him to deck.  Page hulks-up gets his typical combination of atomic drop and pancake. Savage hooks the ropes to block the Diamon Cutter. Savage selling fatigue like a champ, nearly falls off the top and then delivers an exhausted big elbow that lands on the ribs. Savage is on spaghetti-legs barley can lift Page for a bodyslam. Savage struggles to hit a big elbow, which gets him a 9-count. Savage’s selling is amazing as he is struggling just to stand. Ref bump as DDP’s leg whacks the ref’s head, but DDP reverses into the DIAMOND CUTTER!!! All three men down. 7-Count. 

Diamond cutter attempt reversed into a backslide with a low-blow kick by Savage on DDP. As Page rolls to the outside, Hogan dressed as Sting, WAFFLE-LEGS DDP in the ribs with a bat. The ref is forced to count out DDP. Savage celebrates his victory looking as if he lost, but to make him feel better he WAFFLE-LEGS a ref and takes a shot at DDP’s ribs. The commentators out over DDP’s hearts and guts and that it took two men and a woman to beat a man with busted ribs. 

I think this is one of rare instances when a wrestler wins by losing. DDP is one of the very few wrestlers that made it out of the WCW mid-card mire because he was one of the few that was well-booked, but the big help came from Savage’s selflessness. Hogan and Nash are notorious for burying people to make themselves look good and to hold them down. Savage was not afraid to lose to DDP in Page’s first PPV main event. Savage was a true professional and sold like a champ for DDP. They should show this selling performance at the end of this match to every kid that wants to be a wrestler it was that good. The story of DDP is that he is a fighter. Like John McClane of Die Hard, just a everyday blue collar guy, not afraid to get his hands dirty and get his ass-kicked while standing up for what’s right. DDP actually won by losing and a true credit to Savage to put him over and the booking team.

Killer picture, Macho Man, The Bad Guy, Hollywood Hogan, Big Sexy

This match and the Spring Stampede matches are toss-ups for me. I feel that both matches have long spells where the offense could be more varied. Basically it comes down to the character showcase for Savage’s Wildman persona at Spring Stampede vs. Savage’s incredible selling at Halloween Havoc. I give the edge to Stampede by a bit, but I call them both ****.

There you have folks, Savage’s greatest feud in WCW creates a new star and proves to be one of great selfless acts in wrestling. This is the greatest feud of the nWo era and the only close feud in 1997 was the Hart Foundation vs Stone Cold. I am a Savage mark so I would argue for this one, but most people would give the nod to Austin/Harts. But Savage did not make a name for himself in WCW. He wrestled in his prime for Vince McMahon in the WWF and it is time to venture to Savage’s most famous moments.