Macho Madness: History Beckons The Macho Man

Hey yo bromigoes and bromigas,

The less said about the Heat, the better. Fucking pathetic.

I have a birthday coming up and I love that shirt.  *hint* *hint*

Where we left off, Savage had a rocket strapped to his ass by McMahon and was pushed to the top of the heap. McMahon rewarded Savage for his performance with Hogan with  a run with I-C belt. Savage, in true cowardly heel fashion, stole the title from Tito Santana and now he was out for vengeance. In addition, the loveable George “The Animal” Steele (a violent lunatic in the ‘60s) had become infatuated with Elizabeth drawing the ire of her uber-jealous husband, Randy Savage. Savage was also programmed into a feud with “The Living Legend” Bruno Sammartino. The problem with both these feuds was that Steele and Sammartino were huge stars in 1960s and it was now 1986 so to say they were over the hill is an understatement. Still Savage bumped like a madman for them and parlayed the reign into a highly successful over year long reign. Of course climaxing with the tremendous bout against  Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat at Wrestlemania III.

Interesting note, up until this point I had seen each of the matches I reviewed at least once beforehand. This will not be the case with the following two matches.

ARRIBA!

WWF Intercontinental Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Tito Santana – No DQ

May 1986 Maple Leaf Gardens

I was trying to find the No DQ match from MSG, but youtube did not have it. This probably the “same match” anyways. Savage’s robe is the coolest fuckin one I have ever seen as it is adorned with red & gold dragons with a matching gold head band and Savage written in white sequins with a red trim on a black base, a true beauty. Also, there is Liz. Just kidding Liz, looking beautiful and elegant as always. Gorilla takes a potshot at Savage and says Bobby The Brain will be broadcast colleague. Gorilla and The Brain are widely considered the greatest commentary team in history. Savage begins with some trash talking stalling as it announced a No Disqualification match. Liz attempts to the hold ropes open and Savage yells at her to get in the ring so he can hide behind her. Smart strategy it impedes Santana from blindsiding him. I am digging Liz’s dress and damn Liz almost becomes collateral damage to Savage’s madman antics. Savage with his shades and bandana still on ascends the top, but Tito catches him with a right as he comes down. Savage attempts to crawl on his hands and knees away, but Tito catches him and rams his head into the top turnbuckle. Santana goes for an early Figure 4 and Savage skedaddles. Tito follows him outside and hits with chairs and sends him into the guardrail. Santana is fired up!!! Way more intensity in this match than the last one, Santana is all over the Macho Man. Huge “Ti-to” chants, but Savage gets a thumb to the eye and sends Tito crashing over the top to the floor. The Brain gets a potshot in on Hogan. Same corner knee spot from the Boston Garden keeps Tito in control. First double axe-handle of the match knocks out Tito. Savage chokes Tito with the rope and then a brutal knee drop right across the throat, but Tito kicks out. Nice sitout clothesline by Macho Man gets another two count.

Bodyslam by Savage, but this time misses the kneedrop, which should setup Santana’s figure 4 nicely. I like how the match has been laid out so far. Tito started early with a lot of heat being pissed that had been screwed out of the title, but Macho took over some cheating, but finally got frustrated at not putting Santana away thus Tito has openings like a small package and Savage’s knee getting messed up. Savage goes in for the kill and hits a double axe-handle off the top rope onto the floor, but Macho man is still favoring the knee. Unwisely, Savage sneaks around and connects with a high-knee. Savage jumps over the guardrail and steals an usher’s chair , but whiffs and connects with the ringpost. Tito is able get a gut punch as Savage tries another double axe-handle off the top. Now Tito is just bashing Savage’s head off everything as Savage tries to stagger up the ramp. LIZ DO SOMETHING!!! Back in the ring, Tito signals for the Figure 4, but eye-rake saves Macho Man’s belt. Huge “Ti-to” chants! Back outside, Santana maintains the upper-hand. Savage blades off a steel ringpost shot, Liz is in tears. This is not looking good for the Master of Madness. Both men are selling extreme exhaustion (alliteration rulez). Slugfest, Savage finishes it with a eye-rake, but as Savage pulls back for another jab, down goes the ref. So we hit endgame.

Tito hits the Flying Burrito (flying forearm) and Santana is on top of Macho Man. BUT NO REF! Oooooooo Drama! Now Tito with another cover after a bodyslam, but still no referee. Savage with a knee into Tito’s kidney, but Tito applies the victory roll, however Savage reverses and grabs a handful of tights for leverage giving Savage the three-count. Macho bloodied and bruised escapes with the title. The Brain sings “La Cucaracha” to mock Tito and celebrate Savage’s victory. Wonderful.

Great, intense brawl from these two as I have not seen many Santana matches, this one has convinced me to seek out more. I would call this one slightly better than the title change in Boston, giving it **** and becoming Savage’s first **** match in the WWF.

Like I mentioned earlier Savage got programmed into some lame feuds with over the hill legends like Bruno Sammartino and George “The Animal” Steel. However, the next match is doubly intriguing not just because it is against another prolific wrestler in his prime, Jake The Snake Roberts, but it is a very rare heel vs heel match. Savage was the insane Wildman that cheated at all times and was borderline abusive towards Elizabeth. Roberts was cerebral, diabolical villain that in his own words was supposed to be the personification of the Devil, himself. Would the fans side with Satan or wild Savage, tune into find out on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Hail Satan!

WWF Intercontinental Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Jake “the Snake” Roberts

November 1986 Saturday Night’s Main Event

Mean Gene attempts to Liz’s feelings on snakes, but Savage says “Hey, Intercontinental Champ over here”. Mean Gene inquires if he is scared of snakes and Savages says he is going to skin Jake, himself and make him into a belt and boots. McMahon, on commentary, reminds us why he is called the genetic jackhammer as he creepily leers at Elizabeth. Savage licks his lips like a lizard and Jake sits in the corner brooding while the snake crawls around him. It is an impressive sight. In a rare occurrence, Liz and Savage don’t match. Jake with some pre-match shenanigans approaches Liz with the snake in hand. The fans are actually chanting “D-D-T!”, the name of Jake’s finisher, so that answers that question.  McMahon on the other hand finds Roberts transgressions reprehensible and roots for Savage to protect his woman, but Savage true to form hides behind Liz, runs from Damien (the python). McMahon must have been pissed at the crowd reaction then. Liz is rocking what can only be described as a rainbow sherbet dress.      

McMahon gets on my nerves by repeating the word, “sensational”. He wonders who will be the fan favorite in this match. Ventura declares that these are the two most hated villains in all of the WWE and he is interested in seeing the crowd dynamics. Savage is selling the snake so well, plenty of head games. McMahon picks Savage. Both establish they are heels by pulling each other’s hair. Roberts is a big dude, I always forget that, both are just going after each other’s hair. McMahon makes a bald joke at Jesse’s expense. Roberts is wrestling more babyface being on the attack early and Savage showing fear of snakes is not endearing the Macho Man to the crowd.  Failed DDT attempt gets the crowd to pop. Savage catches Roberts with a huge knee in the corner only gets a 2 and Ventura does not think Savage has worn Jake down enough. Jesse says we are going to get some “Good down-home cheating.” And McMahon is incredulous. Savage controls the matches with an assortment of strikes, but can only get 2 counts and starts to choke Jake on the top rope. Savage’s assault has  been relentless, but nothing big and that is Ventura’s correct criticism. Jake the Snake is tied up in the ropes and Savage grabs the snake in the bag and hides it under the ring to help his mental sanity. Jake The Snake breaks free and catches Savage with a knee to the head.    Jake the Snake with his patented short-arm clothesline, but Savage gets his foot on the ropes. The fans are chanting “D-D-T!”, Roberts feigns the DDT and delivers a front suplex, which McMahon and Ventura don’t know the name of, amateur hour. Hands of stone are displayed by Jake The Snake and he blocks a Savage right. Roberts goes for the DDT and Savage hooks the ropes before it can be delivered. Macho Man hides behind LIZ and when Roberts goes for Damien, he blindsides him with a high-knee. Savage hits it in combination with a double axe-handle out of the ring. Savage with another one, but he gets greedy and Jake the Snake reverses.  Just out and out fight as neither man can get the advantage. Savage vents his frustration by shoving the ref away.  Roberts takes advantage of the situation, but when the ref tries to restore order  Jake the Snake shoves him outta the ring. Macho Man throws some furniture into the ring and the ref calls the match a double disqualification. Jake the Snake grabs his snake and rubs it all over the Macho Man. Everyone high-tails it.

What a track meet, goddamn I am out of breath just watching this. The match was all about teasing the DDT and Savage doing everything in his power to escape it. Yet McMahon and Ventura wonder why Roberts was the fan favorite. He was the aggressor that was not backing down. Savage was the one hiding behind women and cheating. Interesting dynamic and definitely worth a  watch, but it is not a clean, decisive finish. The match is a bit short and would have benefited from 10 more minutes, I have seen as high as ****. I give it ***1/2.

The Lord and Master of The Ring

In contrast to the previous two unseen matches, I could probably recite from memory the blow-by-blow account of the next match between Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat vs “Macho Man” Randy Savage. To say it is an excellent ***** match is an understatement. This may be the single greatest match in Wrestlemania history and in wrestling history. While shooting hoops in the backyard, I compiled a list of ***** matches in the history of Wrestlemania:

WWF I-Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Ricky “the Dragon” Steamboat – WM III
Career vs Career: “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs The Ultimate Warrior – WM VII
Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs Owen Hart – WM X
WWF I-C Champion Razor Ramon vs Shawn Michaels Ladder Match – WM X
Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs “Stone Cold” Steve Austin Submission Match WMXIII
World Heavyweight Champion Triple H vs Chris Beniot vs Shawn Michaels WM XX
Shawn Michaels vs Kurt Angle WM XXI
Shawn Michaels vs Undertaker WM XV

So by my count over the course of 28 Wrestlemanias (which have between 8-10 matches/card), there have only been 8 perfect ***** matches. (There is a reason Shawn Michaels is dubbed Mr. Wrestlemania).  However, the first perfect match was a contest between the Macho Man and the Dragon one that many current superstars point to the reason they are wrestlers (Chris Jericho has specifically said this).  The match has everything a classic wrestling match needs two tremendous workers, a heated feud, some romance, and a whole lot of ass-kicking.

Steamboat had befriended the zany, loveable George The Animal, but Macho Man saw him as another threat to his reign. So Savage put Steamboat out of wrestling for good by collapsing Steamboat’s voicebox with the ring bell. Or so he thought, McMahon ran a bunch of vignettes of Steamboat trying to relearn how to speak climaxing with challenging Savage to a title bout at the biggest show in the history of wrestling: Wrestlemania III at the sold-out Pontiac Silverdome in front of 93,000+ fans, an indoor attendance record for North America in terms of any event until broken by I think a Papal visit by Pope John Paul II (GO CATHOLICS!!!). The reason for the sell-out was the Match of the Century as WWF World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan was taking on the undefeated, unstoppable Andre The Giant. However, McMahon always savvy knew that would be a lumbering contest and worked to put together one of the most athletic contests by pitting Savage and Steamboat together. So as Savage so eloquently states in his pre-match promo for this match: HISTORY BECKONS THE MACHO MAN!!! It is this match among others why Randy Savage has not died and will never die in our minds and hearts. Rest in Peace, Randy.

WWF Intercontinental Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs Ricky “the Dragon” Steamboat

Wrestlemania III

Goosebumps. Just immediate goosebumps knowing what I am about to witness. Savage threatens to put Steamboat out of action for good because he is the “Lord and Master of the Ring”. They have the motorized carts to get down the ridiculous rampway, which was actually for Andre’s poor health condition. Liz is in a lovely shade of pink and Savage in a brilliant crimson and blue robe. Stemaboat, who I have met and is incredibly nice guy, but kinda sucks at promos, which was the only thing holding him back from being the greatest wrestler in history. Steamboat is accompanied by George “The Animal” Steele and Gorilla and Jesse The Body are on commentary. Savage is wearing his iconic pink tights with yellow boots with white stars. Savage with some early stalling moves Liz to the “proper” corner away from The Animal. Awwwwww how sweet and totally un-neurotically controlling. The Dragon begins the match with deep arm-drags and picks up Savage by the throat with double-goozle. He breaks on four and Jesse The Body is right on the apparent good guy for breaking the rules flagrantly. Savage takes a powder. In his defense, Macho did crush his larynx, I would be pissed too.

Savage plays cat and mouse and gains the advantage. Jesse declares he is best talent in the wrestling world today and Gorilla begrudgingly agrees. Since leverage wristlock by Steamboat and then wrings the arm over the top rope. Savage stops the arm work by pulling the hair in combination with a reverse elbow. Then he sends Steamboat over the top. Both men are on point with selling Savage his arm and Steamboat having his hard. Gorilla says to look at the back of the cranium of The Animal which is nasty and wrinkled and Jesse echoes those sentiments by saying it is disgusting. Savage impedes Steamboat from getting in with a kick, but lets him in on his own terms by pulling him up by the hair.  The Macho Man always looking to lend a helping hand.

Big elbow right to the injured throat of the Steamboat and the crowd is getting pissed as Savage is in firm control. Macho Man pulls him up by the hair, snapmares him in and gets a two count off a standing elbow. Big kneedrop gets two and the crowd gets hot as Steamboat makes his first comeback with big karate chops. Savage is tied up in the ropes and Jesse immediately takes Steamboat to task for not breaking. Gorilla points out that Savage forfeited that courtesy when he tried to maim Steamboat. Just a brilliant story of the usually well-mannered Steamboat getting revved up because of Savage’s mean streak and ability to get under one’s skin. High cross-body by Steamboat gets two, shoulder blocks get two, they are cutting such a tremendous pace by fuckin fingers cant keep up with them. GO! GO! GO!

Macho Man breaks his momentum with a classic high-knee to the back. Savage thinks he sends him out but Steamboat skins the cat as the crowd pops. Savage clothesline him out to finish the job. The crowd is red-hot for such a large stadium crowd.

“You got to get up pretty early in the morning to outsmart the Macho Man” Jesse The Body. I am stealing that, don’t mind if I do.

The Animal goes to aid his incapacitated companion and Ventura has this quip, “There is the Animal, the Rhodes Scholar that he is, giving advice.” Jesse is on fiy-ah. Savage sneak attacks Steamboat with a huge high-knee that sends Steamboat over the guardrail. Jesse goes on a hilarious rant about the incompetence of the ref and the hypocrisy of Gorilla supporting the Animal’s help of the Dragon.  The Animal carries Steamboat back into the ring to avoid the countout. Savage sends him back to the outside to hit his double axe-handle on the outside. Savage breaks the count, then brings Stemaboat back in for a double axe-handle and a pin attempt. Gorilla says he snuck out the back door as Savage follows that up by dropping Steamboat throat first across the top rope. What a dastardly heel he is and Steamboat’s sell is beautiful. Gets a two. Atomic drop gets a two. Macho Man is throwing everything at him. Textbook suplex says Jesse gets only two. Gorilla says Steamboat’s resilience is “guts personified”. Savage hits a gutwrench suplex, my favorite type of suplex always looks nasty, and only gets two. Is Savage pulling a LeBrick? Yep still pissed. Jesse thinks it a slow-count. Steamboat gets a breather with a big back body drop that takes Macho Man to the outside. Well-executed rope a dope strategy by the Steamer here as Savage is exhausted from all the offense he has hit and Stemaboat is peaking at right time. Steamboat connects with a flying karate chop inside the ring on the Macho Man. It only gets two as Savage barley gets his foot on the ropes. I will be honest, the first time I watched this they got me with that false finish and by the sound of the crowd response they got about a 1/3 of the crowd too. False finishes are super sexy; I am a total sucker for them.

Now Steamboat is a house of fire with karate chops getting a series of two counts. What a pace!!! Sunset flip by Steamboat only gets two, Savage wildly misses and a Steamboat rollup gets two. A single sweep gets two, small package gets two, but crowd pops for it like a win. Good false finish. Catapult inot the corner, another jackknife pin gets two. Savage misses wildly again, victory roll by Steamboat, Savage reverses with a handful of tights, shades of the Tito match, GREAT FALSE FINISH! I knew the first time I watched already, who won, but had I not known it would have gotten me.  Savage with a great leverage move sends Steamboat crashing into the corner. Savage is a warrior. A reversal of Irish whips sends Steamboat crashing into the ref. Sitout clothesline and the BIG ELBOW~! BUT THERE IS NO REF!!! Savage tries to revive the ref. Then he is like fuck it, might as well grab the ring bell and really end this muthafucka’s career, but The Animal puts a stop to that by grabbing the bell. So Savage kicks him in the back of the head, which gives the Animal just cause to push Savage off the top and I think Savage’s head was supposed to ram the ring bell, but it didn’t look good. As Savage goes for a bodyslam, Steamboat had recovered enough to reverse it into a small package and the CROWD POPS!!!!

What else is there that needs to be said. It is an ultimate classic of wrestling canon. ***** Just go watch it.

Well, our hero does not take this lying down as he would move onto bigger and better things. OOOOOOOHHHHHH YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!