GODDAMN! Thats Glam! Ratt - Ratt EP (Independent, 1983)

GODDAMN! Thats Glam! 

Ratt- Ratt (1983), Extended Play

Stephen Pearcy - Singer

Robbin "King" Crosby - Guitar

Warren DeMartini - Guitar

Juan Croucier - Bass

Bobby Blotzer - Drums

Writers: Stephen Pearcy & Robbin Crosby

Producer: Liam Sternberg (Akron, Ohio apparently there was an Akron Sound similar to Minneapolis Sound centered around Devo. He actually wrote "Walk Like An Egyptian", more of a New Wave guy, but he banged out quite the heavy metal record).

I fucking love Ratt. Ratt was one of the first bands that cemented my love of glam metal. Motley Crue was definitely my first favorite and made me want to seek out every glam/LA metal band ever. Pretty much immediately found Ratt and it was love at first listen. I feel so fortunate that I have gotten to see Ratt twice well technically three times. The first time was Bobby Blotzer's band of hired misfits, which was really more of a Ratt cover band with the original drummer. At the end time, Ratt had not toured in years so I jumped at the chance and drove 4 hours round trip to watch them along with Warrant (Robert Mason who looks like Ricky Morton as lead singer) and Bret Michaels playing all your Poison favorites. It was a pretty epic night of hairspray. The next year I saw the crown jewel of Ratt performances. 

I got to see Ratt with Stephen Pearcy, Warren DeMartini, Carlos Cavaso (ex-Quiet Riot) and Juan Crocuier on bass! Outside of seeing Robbin Crosby (who sadly passed away in 2002), this was the best possible lineup. This was the lineup that recorded the killer "Infestation" album in 2011, which smokes, definitely check out "Eat Me Alive" if you have not and check out the whole album if you have time. "Infestation" should have been the follow up to "Invasion of Your Privacy". Pearcy & DeMartini were able to capture the classic Ratt sound and even though they didnt do any Quiet Riot songs, it was cool to say I have seen Cavaso in person. The best part and the number one reason anyone should see Ratt is Juan Croucier on fucking bass. The Dude is a walking riot and totally stole the show. He does so many tricks and funny faces it is incredible. Everyone needs to see it! I had the luck of headbanging next to a hot blonde, Melissa, who was super into it and we both were marking out over Juan Croucier. Unfortunately, she had a boyfriend, who I call "Danzig" because he was wearing a "Danzig" shirt, had his arms folded and looked nonplussed about the whole situation. Ratt fucking rules dude, get your head out of your ass. I ended up running into Melissa & Danzig at Kip Winger doing all your Winger favorites UNPLUGGED, I think at LA Guns (Phil Lewis & Tracii Gunns) and last year at Sebastien Bach. Never have talked to Danzig, seems like wet blanket. But every time, she fucking rocks out hard and we have a great time. This one is for Melissa, hope you are getting through COVID-19 ok and that we will be banging out heads and screaming our lungs out while "Danzig" stands in the background with his arms folded sooner rather than later! 

The most recent time I saw Ratt we lost the axemen of DeMartini and Cavaso but I had such a great time the time before watching Juan Croucier that I went again and had a blast! I think that's the night I accidentally attended Lynnfield High School Class of 1987 reunion. Shannon knew how to rock and fucking roll! One thing I have learned hot, middle-aged babes attend Ratt concerts. Honestly as long as Juan Croucier is on stage and they are playing Ratt, I'd go see them, he puts on a helluva performance. 

As you can tell, I fucking love Ratt. Obviously, I want to write about them, but I dont want to write about the usual suspects like "Out of the Cellar" (probably the greatest Glam Metal album of all time) or "Invasion of your Privacy" (another perfect album). I finally listened to "Detonator" (1990) a couple weeks ago and to my chagrin it was decidedly mediocre and didnt inspire me to want to write. I could write about 1986's "Dancing Undercover", but even though it is less well-known than its predecessors (check out "Looking for Love" for the best under the radar Ratt song), it is still pretty well-known. Then I was listening to one of my favorite Ratt songs and a live staple, "You Think Youre Tough" then it hit me I can write about their debut EP! It flies under the radar and it fucking rocks just as hard as "Out of the Cellar" and "Invasion of Your Privacy". 

Ratt's history is a little confusing to me but my understanding is that Stephen Pearcy had a band called Mickey Ratt in San Diego and moved to LA. He met Robbin Crosby, who joined the band. This became the nucleus of the band. Jake E. Lee was the other original guitarist, but just as Ozzy Osbourne raided fellow LA Glam outfit, Quiet Riot for Randy Rhoads, he snagged Jake E. Lee after Rhoads' tragic death. A very young Warren DeMartini, 18 years old I believe, joined the band what a crazy way to become an adult. Juan Croucier was actually originally in Dokken but departed there and joined Ratt. As much I like to be Rokken with Dokken, Ratt was the better band and the world is a better place for Croucier to be in Ratt. All this is important because there is an important distinction to be made between Ratt EP, Out of the Cellar and Invasion of Your Privacy. 

The Ratt EP is the most metal album released by Ratt. "Tell The World" was originally released on "Metal Massacre" a compilation album that featured underground bands such as Metallica & Bitch. The reason for this sound is this is album where Robbin Crosby had the most influence. I think Out of the Cellar is a nice blend of the DeMartini/Crosby sounds. Invasion of Your Privacy becomes more heavily influenced by DeMartini and his more Van Halen-shred style sound. DeMartini smokes and is a great guitarist but the music became much flashier. Robbin Crosby was a badass, meat & potatoes gritty guitar player. He brought the staccato riffing of Judas Priest to the band. It was this element that made Ratt sound like the most metal of the glam metal bands. 

Because of this strong influence of Robbin Crosby and his staccato riffing, the album sounds like twisted steel & sex appeal. It is 22 minutes of explosive ferocity that goes for the jugular and never lets up. Crosby's guitar literally sounds like he is bending steel with his fingers and every song is a bonecrusher.  The sex appeal comes from the cocksure swagger of Stephen Pearcy who has never sound better.

The first song "Sweet Cheetah" comes from my favorite hybrid genre glam speed metal. Other classics from this genre from Ratt include "Im Insane" (another Crosby classic, you can tell Im a Crosby classic) and "Body Talks". I don't have much to say about this song besides the fact that I love it as an opener. They come at you guns blazing with speed metal and that riff, which is very Judas Priest, lets you know this a real deal heavy metal band.

The band correctly identified "You Think You're Tough" as the best song on the EP and the one that should be released as a single and make a video for. The music video which features Ozzy Osbourne and Motley Crue's Nikki Sixx & Tommy Lee was retroactive because of the MASSIVE success of Out of the Cellar (3x Platinum) they wanted a fourth single, but instead of digging from that album they went back and pulled from the EP, a wise decision. I love this song this is such a great heavy metal song. It starts off with that perfect Judas Priest-style riff alone and then as soon as the rhythm section kicks in you have to headbang. It is compulsory. I found the perfect word for the riff, menacing. It is a menacing riff. The whole EP has this bounce to the rhythm section which I just love. I would say a similar bounce can be found on "Living After Midnight" by Judas Priest. Another aspect, I really like about this song is they add some interesting wrinkles. LA Metal songs are usually pretty straightforward. It is the same riff from beginning to end, verse-chorus-verse-chorus-solo-chorus and no really tempo/time changes. It is not like thrash or progressive metal. What I like about this song is in the bridge to the chorus they have a cool breakdown and Croucier sings the breakdown on his own. I think they should have done more things like that. The solo is also the best solo on the record and the best Crosby solo. It is explosive at the start, but it doesnt shred, it has a lot of feel and texture to it. Then he leads back into the sort of breakdown that preceded it and then a little squeal before going back to that riff. 

The next two songs, "U Got It" and "Tell The World", I fucking love too and wish they got played live. They both feature that bouncy rhythm section I was talking about. I love how it contrasts with the pummeling power of Crosby's guitar. "U Got It" is not speed metal but at the same time it is very uptempo and I really dig it. There is a great run from DeMartini in this after the first rendition of the chorus where you could tell where the future of Ratt was going. It similar to "Lack of Communication" which is my favorite Ratt in that it is a kickass riff with an uptempo feel and where the solo comes in a weird spot. I feel like Ratt took the Judas Priest blueprint and really did the impossible managed to keep the heavy metal integrity but make the songs filled with hooks. "Tell The World" has a similar vibe to "U Got It" just another kick ass guitar-driven song. A really great driving song. "Tell The World" has some really great guitar fills that I cant tell who it is coming from, but they rip. I will say the weakest aspect of Ratt has always been the lyrics. I love Pearcy's strained vocals it makes it sound like the words are coming out of a blender just like the grind of the guitars, but the lyrics are usually cliche-ridden and just arent really that intelligent. I think the biggest improvement between this EP and Out of the Cellar is Ratt really figured out how to write a chorus. These choruses are just barked out with some gang-shouting behind them. On Out of the Cellar, the choruses become the hook and it is the part people really latch onto. 

The penultimate song is the earlier version of "Back For More" it is the one slight misstep on the EP. They really improved this song on Out of the Cellar which maybe the only reason I noticed a lot of production flaws (there is this weird bass chord thats totally out of place every so often that drives me nuts). They wrap up with a bitchin' cover of Aerosmith's "Walking The Dog" which they have played at the last two live shows I have went to and I think they do a great job metallizing the blues-rock classic with Pearcy staying true to Steven Tyler's vocal rhythm. 

Since Ratt is an EP, on an independent label (they would be signed to Atlantic after the EP, and it comes before the monster of a debut album "Out of the Cellar", the Ratt EP flies under the radar. For those Ratt fans that want a little more of a harsher, metal sounding Ratt or who those Judas Priest fans that wish more Priest songs sound like "Living After Midnight" definitely give this a spin. It is 22 minutes of testosterone-addled metal that will surely leave you feeling SUPERCHARGED! 

  

GODDAMN! Thats Glam! vol. 3 Motley Crue - Theatre of Pain (Elektra, 1985)

GODDAMN! Thats Glam! 

Motley Crue- Theatre of Pain (1985), #6 Billboard Albums Chart, 4x Platinum

Vince Neil – Vocals

Mick Mars – Lead & Rhythm Guitar

Nikki Sixx  - Bass

Tommy Lee  – Drums

Writers: Nikki Sixx on all songs, contributions from other band members throughout

Producer: Tom Werman (Shout At The Devil, Cheap Trick's In Color, Heaven Tonight, Dream Police and Twisted Sister's Stay Hungry. Apparently owns a B&B in Lenox, MA might have to check that out and do a podcast, dude must have great stories!)

EDITOR'S NOTE: Yes, we are only on volume 3 and I am already re-posting stuff from my original Rocktober countdown. This was written in 2011. This is one of my favorite pieces I did as it really details why this is a great album even if the band itself disowns it. Since this piece originally was published The Dirt the movie has come out. This album was pretty much ignored except for one brief scene where they bury the album as trash and as if it was the worst thing they ever produced (Generation Swine anyone?). Funny thing is that they always say the only good thing to come out of this album is Home Sweet Home, which is their best & signature power ballad. What is funny is that song did not chart well at the time. It was actually the cover of Smokin' In The Boys Room that was a Top 40 hit. Home Sweet Home was remastered and re-released on Decade of Decadence in 1991 and that is the version we all know and love. I hope you enjoy this re-post and take some time to revisit this album. It is not as good as Too Fast for Love or Shout At The Devil, but few albums are. This is still a great glam metal album. Enjoy!

All four people that who will eventually read this blog knew that Motley Crue was going to show up on this countdown sooner rather than later (they had FIVE albums in the 80’s alone). Their first appearance is for their over-looked, under-appreciated glam classic, Theatre of Pain. This album finds the Crue boys re-inventing themselves (as they have a penchant to do on each album) as philosophical glam rocking gypsies.  Philosophical?!?!? Ok as philosophical as a glam band can get. Motley Crue always had a unique sense of self when it came to rebellion and cutting-edge trends. Nikki Sixx led the band to the forefront of American heavy metal with the bitchin album, Shout At The Devil. On Heavy Metal Sunday at the US Festival, a veritable murder’s row of metal killed New Wave dead as Van Halen, Scorpions, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, Quiet Riot and a young, hungry Motley Crue band gathered to melt hundreds of thousands people’s faces. Yes, if you could take a time machine back to 1983-84, it was Motley Crue, not Metallica that was the face of American Heavy Metal (and I am not talking VH1 metal, this is true, blue metal. If you disagree with me, then basically you are calling Ozzy and Priest not metal. Crue was just as metal as those artists in this time period.) Then depending on your vantage point, Nikki and troop threw it all away for mainstream fame and success with the album, Theatre of Pain. My own theory is that Nikki knew he could not top that aggressive, almost violent magnus opus and thus he needed to shift to the other extreme leading to Theatre of Pain being born. Nikki has stated in a couple of interviews that he believes in always re-inventing the image and sound of the band with every album. He did a Satanic, post-Apocalypse album and now he wanted to rebel differently as the Metallica's and SLAYERRRRR's started to pop up. He dropped the leather and added the lace. Thrash was an aggressive, realistic take on metal. Then he was going to create carnival, fantastical atmosphere on his albums. They replaced the heavy songs about Satan with a power ballad about life on the road and songs about the uplifting street-wise rebellion with songs about being tethered to the city.  

Theatre of Pain is Motley Crue’s most challenging release to the point, where the members of the band have mostly dis-owned the album (save for the smash hit, Home Sweet Home) stating that it does not fit with the Crue mold of partying, sex, drugs and rock n roll. For the most part they are right, this album is not a party album, which is pretty weird for a glam metal album. I disagree that quite strongly that this album is the weakest of their 80’s golden years albums (that distinction belongs to the repetitive Girls, Girls, Girls album). The distorted, fuzzy guitar tone of Mars on this album adds a great wrinkle to the 1970’s glam rock (Nikki Sixx’s favorite genre) that is prevalent throughout the album. In fact, the heavy, grinding tone of Mars is the one of the remaining vestiges of Crue’s metal past. While this has been deemed the “glam rock” album, Mick Mars does his best to remind you that is a heavy metal band.  In addition, this was the last time, I feel Vince Neil sang like a heavy metal lead singer rather than a mainstream, overly-produced hard rock lead singer. Neil was still allowed to perform unintelligible screams, which are a hallmark of glam metal and still sang with a high-pitched sneer rather than the fuller voice he “developed” on later albums. My main issue with the album is that the rhythm section especially Tommy’s drums are mixed way too low and sound either muddled or hidden underneath the Neil/Mars tandem.   

However, the circumstances around the album seemed to have distracted Crue from the objective of perfecting this album. The drug problems in the band were reaching a fever pitch. Vince killed the drummer of the “biggest band that never was” Hanoi Rocks in a drunk driving accident and Theatre of Pain is dedicated to Razzle. This led to a very short album (35 minutes) that included a cover among the ten songs not exactly indicative of the peak of creative power. I do hope to unearth some Motley Crue gems that have been lost to the fact that this album is so criminally over-looked.

Theatre of Pain, immediately tells the listener that this is NOT the sequel to Shout At The Devil, but this album for better or worse is very much its own album. City Boy Blues is definitely one of my favorite songs off the album that displays perfectly that dirty, dirty, dirty guitar tone Mars employs on the whole album. The riff is a plodding, pulsating attack of distortion while Vince screams over it about street-life and drugs. Tommy’s drums are actually pretty audible in this one as his constant crashing of the cymbals and drum rolls are on point. Nikki’s lyrics are illustrative that he is the best lyrical force in glam metal even if he was high on five different drugs as the bridge to the solo is a well-crafted set of lyrics setting out to challenge the mainstream belief system of Americans. The solo is one of my favorite of the album and is a relatively short (standard for Mick Mars’ standards) burst of melodic energy.

Next on the album was the lead single and cover of Brownsville Station’s hit, Smokin In The Boys Room. I definitely disagree with using a cover as a lead single as that seems downright lazy to me. However, as I looked over the rest of the album only, Tonight (We Need A Lover), could have been a lead single. I guess you can argue that their hands were tied. I love the music video for this one as this cover made so much sense for Motley Crue and their rebellious, teenage attitude. The imagery of the band was the most extreme at its time until Poison took it to the next level in 1986.  Once again, proving how Motley Crue were the trend-setters of glam metal. A funny personal anecdote, my brother and I always thought the lyrics were “Because everybody knows that smoking in the lounge is cool” because Vince’s phrasing sucks the meat missile. Then my dad who knows the original version told us it is “Because everybody know school aint allowed in school” which makes way more sense.

Next up is one of my personal favorites and a hold-over from the Shout-era, Louder Than Hell. This track is by far the most metal of all the songs on this album. The riffs vacillate between a grinding attack and long, drawn wail. Over the top of this, Vince delivers one of his best vocal performances EVAH~! screaming about sexual domination and things of that ilk. However, I would like the rumbling rhythm section more if I did not have to strain myself to hear it. Check out the difference between this and Hotter Than Hell, which is the original version. On the latter, Tommy’s drums really pound, but I prefer Vince’s vocals on Theatre of Pain, so it is a tough call.   

Some fun, fluffy filler is on tap next, Keep Your Eye On The Money, which I do not know completely why it was included on the album.

Now for the main event of the album and the reason this bad boy went quadruple platinum, the massive hit single, Home Sweet Home. The song that sent Motley Crue from top-flight heavy metal band to mainstream rock stars across America. Sometimes it is hard to reconcile that the same band performs Shout At the Devil and Home Sweet Home, but that is one of the reasons to love Crue. There is no Crue formula and there is no such thing as quintessential Crue as everything sounds so different.  This is THE power ballad to pretty much end all power ballads. Crue would never top this power ballad and this power ballad that started them all. Once again, Motley Crue are the trend-setters in glam metal. The piano intro, Vince’s crooning, the heavy attack of Mars’ guitar and the HUGE chorus make this a must-hear off the album. Mars’ guitar during the chorus is what sets this apart from so many other power ballads because it is such a heavy, distorted that swoops in like a locomotive. Then the solo, HOLY SHIT, what a solo as it just blares with great continuity between each of his guitar acrobatics. On the music video front, WHAT THE FUCK happened to Vince's hair. His hair was totally butchered into a mullet and is probably one of the reasons why the uninformed associate mullets with glam metal. Ugh, his hair has looked so much better.  I love the beginning of the video, when each member is found in their respective environments. It really hallmarks how much of a MOTLEY crew, Motley Crue actually was. It was this diversity of talents and backgrounds that led them to be the glam juggernauts that they were and are. Without further aideu, the number one MTV video of 1985:

Following that monster is the song that should have been the lead single, Tonight (We Need A Lover), which is also a very metallic song for the album with a pounding rhythm section from Tommy and an elongated wailing riff during verses that transforms into a pulsating, head-banging attack on the chorus. My favorite part of the song is when the band sings “Tonight” in harmony higher and higher pitch. Only for Vince to swoop in with a low-pitch snarl of “Oooooo Tonight”.

The token speed metal track comes up next as the riff from Livewire is transformed into the new Motley Crue song. I like the vocal delivery and melodies more than anything else. The hook on this song for me is when Vince sings “JFK Marilyn Monroe//Street-Walking Gypsy//Margaret Throdeau”. All in  all not essential Crue, but a fun song to come back to when you have played the hits to death.

I don’t think anybody on this planet agrees with me, but I believe Save Our Souls is the masterpiece of Nikki Sixx and Motley Crue’s career (Danger and Shout AT The Devil make it a tight race) and it is unfortunate that only Crue die-hards have ever heard it. The song is characterized by a HEAVY, GRINDING DIRGE of a riff that is punctuated by the DELIBERATE drum pounding of Tommy Lee. Vince screams and wails about the sleazy underbelly of the streets, which climaxes with the melancholy gang-shout of “Save Our Souls//For the Heavens//Save Our Souls//For the Promised Land”. This song is probably the closest thing to have ever heard to glam-doom metal and it sounds so fuckin cool.

That is one tough act to follow and Raise Your Hands to Rock sees Crue experimenting once again, but this type failing to reach my high expectations. The song begins with an acoustic guitar and then the muddled rhythm section kicks in. It is like a cross between I Wanna Rock and a feel-good, summer heart-land rock song. I think they were going for a big anthem and they fell short of it as there just were not enough hooks.

The final song used to be my least favorite song on the album, Fight For Your Right, until incidentally I was writing this blog. Don’t get me wrong, I still think the lyrics are way too self-serious and sound like an absolute joke when being sung by Vince Neil of all people. However, the only reason I used to listen to this song is that one of the lyrics include “Martin Luther” (It is clearly intended to be Martin Luther King, but the boys in Crue are not Rhodes Scholars) and so I used to like to hear Vince sing my name. I still hate the bridge, which does nothing for me and the chorus is pretty lame. However, I have newfound appreciation for the riff, which I am actually digging a whole lot now. God, I LOVE Mick Mars.

Is this the best Motley Crue album? Of course not. It needs to be made known that Motley Crue on their off-day is still better than 90% of glam metal bands out there. Is this an album that I want to listen to when I went to rejuvenate myself or “party”? No, not at all. This album is very different than a conventional glam metal album and when I find myself tired of the usual big hooks and high-powered riffs I find this album really takes glam metal into an interesting territory of grinding riffs and rumbling rhythm sections. I hope that maybe, just maybe, I proved my point that Theatre of Pain is a lost gem in the catalog of glam metal.        

GODDAMN! Thats Glam! vol. 1 Vince Neil - Exposed (1993)

GODDAMN! Thats Glam! 

Vince Neil - Exposed (1993), #13 Billboard Album Chart

Band Members

Vince Neil - Lead and backing vocals

Steve Stevens - all guitars & Bass

Vikki Foxx - Drums

Writers: Vince Neil, Steve Stevens (Billy Idol), Jack Blades (Night Ranger, Damn Yankees), Tommy Shaw (Styx, Damn Yankees), Phil Soussan (Ozzy Osbourne)

Producer: Rod Nevison (Ozzy Osbourne, Damn Yankees, KISS, Heart among others)

I have been tossing around ideas in my head to start a blog that is focused on music for quite some time. I took a brief stab at it last year writing three articles for the Place To Be Nation (placetobe.com) on various artists such as Taylor Swift, Whitesnake and Guns N Roses under the title "Vivid Technicolor Radio", but then I was finding it hard to make time to keep writing. Well, COVID-19 sure has given me plenty of time. About two months ago, I started a spreadsheet of all the major hard rock and heavy metal albums of the Golden Age of 1978-1991 (Van Halen I to Nirvana's Nevermind). I have amassed a list of 350 albums that I want to give a listen and have been using a  random number generator to keep me on my toes. I could not decide what I wanted to do with the project whether it would be for my own amusement or if I would start writing about music. Then last night, I threw on one of my all-time favorites, Vince Neil's solo endeavor, Exposed and I was like GODDAMN! That's Glam! :p So I knew I needed to write and specifically I need to write about under-the-radar, obscure glam/hair/sleaze/pop metal that has been lost to the sands of time. 

Funnily enough this blog (ridingspacemountain.blogspot.com) started as a music blog as I counted down the Top 31 Glam Metal albums of all time during the Rocktober of 2011. I never finished and I really should revise the list. I 100% knew about this album and how badass it is and somehow I didnt list it. Also, I didnt put Tigertailz's Bezerk or Babylon AD's Eponymous debut on the list, but I did put cult classic Vain's No Respect on so it was not bashful about choosing oddball picks. Vince Neil's Exposed definitely would make my Top 31 glam metal albums of all time.   

So some background, the shit hit the fan really hard in 1991-1992 for the heavy metal scene. Now on one hand, you have the rise of grunge with the big four Seattle band, but on the other you had a ton of massive breakups. Motley Crue, Guns N Roses, Poison, and Whitesnake all had major personnel problems that led them to not producing albums after 1991 either at all or without key members. In the case of Motley Crue, it was that the temperamental Vince Neil had gotten too big for his britches and decided to fly solo. Motley Crue would record one album with John Corabi in 1994, which I have never heard. I am a huge Cruehead and I could never bring myself to listen it even though it has gotten rave reviews so I really should listen to it. However, the story of Vince Neil going solo is only half the story. 

You see the real key to this album being so shockingly amazing is that it was also a solo album for guitarist, Steve Stevens. Stevens was the guitarist for Billy Idol and was stuck playing pop punk/new wave dance guitar and he did a phenomenal job at that, but it is not necessarily a genre you can just go balls out and shred. Steve Stevens absolutely lets it fucking rip on this album. This is just one long extended 52 minute orgasm on guitar. If you love 80s metal-style guitar, you need to listen to this album pronto. There are a ton of guitar tracks on each song and all of sudden when you least expect it another one will come out of nowhere and kick you in the ass. The production and arrangement of every song is impeccable and it is all owed to Stevens. Go listen to the single version of Youre Invited, But Your Friend Cant Come and then go listen to the album version. It is night and day. The album version smokes the single version. The difference is that Stevens was not in the band when the promotional single was released and he insisted it be re-recorded with him for the album. Every blistering solo leaves your face totally melted. Every riff is a monster (Look In Her Eyes, Living Is A Luxury) and wicked catchy (Fine, Fine Wine & Edge). This is a guitar album through and through. It may say Vince Neil - Exposed on the marquee, but it should read Steve Stevens - Shreds. 

There are two reasons this album reminds me of Ozzy Osbourne album. Every good Ozzy album is really a guitar album. Randy, Jake E and Zakk are all monsters on the axe and Ozzy really lets them shine. Typically when a solo album is released the solo artist is way too high up in the mix. A lot of guitarist solo albums, the singer and vocals are afterthoughts buried in the mix. When a singer goes out on his own more often than not he wants to front and center and the guitar gets buried in the mix. Ozzy & Sharon were both smart enough to understand the music landscape of the 80s and that the guitar was king so it was mixed equitably. This album is also mixed equitably. The vocals and guitar coalesce and work together to make the song great. It is song-oriented production rather than instrument-oriented. The other reason it reminds me of an Ozzy album because Steve Stevens is giving Zakk Wylde a run for his money on guitar. This sounds like the follow-up to No More Tears. It is not all hooks, there are some serious chops and it is a similar shred style on display here. This brings me to my last overarching point about this album is that this a significant departure from Motley Crue. 

To the layperson, the sound of this album and a Motley Crue album and pretty much any 80s heavy metal album is probably indistinguishable. To someone who lives and breather glam/hair/sleaze/pop metal, this sounds radically different. The songs are way longer and way more complex.  I love Mick Mars; he is one of my favorite guitarists and is the highlight of seeing Motley Crue live. He is simple, but he is so raw, nasty, dirty, noisy and trashy. Mars is not there is compete with Van Halen, he is there to capture sleaze aesthetic of the 80s Sunset Strip. So when I say the songs are more complex thats not a diss but just an observation. The music found on Vince Neil's album is closer to Scorpions or Ozzy Osbourne than it is with Motley Crue's mixture of Sweet, Sex Pistols and Aerosmith. Coincidentally, Vince Neil does cover a Sweet song ("Set Me Free", that harmonized solo is fucking amazing and the best one on the album of a ton of great solos), which is so badass and love that he pays homage to one of his key influences. That's the thing that really made Motley Crue so unique is they actually are a GLAM metal in the truest sense of the word in that the band members (besides maybe Mick) really loved 70s glam rock. This albums strips away the glam and just leaves a real metal sheen that is more similar to Van Halen, Scorpions or Ozzy Osbourne. 

I will leave you with some commentary on the individual songs. "Look In Her Eyes" is such an insane song. It sounds like a maelstrom of sex & violence, the choppy riff, the Aldo Nova part, the blaring lead. Vince Neil sounds really inspired on this album. He is more full-throated here compared to when he was shrieking like a banshee on Shout At The Devil. He keeps up well with the complexity of Stevens, which is is surprising because these are not simple vocal melodies. He is being asked to sing through the music rather than with it. I currently have the song in my ear and the way Neil is singing it reminds me a lot of Dio. It is a very cool song and it is a real statement song. We are here to rock your balls off, melt your face and we are NOT Motley Fucking Crue. The solo in this song is a tornado of notes and effects that you just have to listen to appreciate.   

Skipping over "Sister of Pain" it has never done much for me, we go to another single "Cant Have Your Cake". I love how speedy this song is. It is typical metal riff, but it is one of those riffs you just love to rock out to. Stevens throws in a ton of fills and lead tracks from out of nowhere to keep you interested. Vince Neil does a great job on vocals. He is fun and you enjoy listening to him. Here's my one complaint on this album is that chorus are way too fucking long. "Cant Have Your Cake And Eat It Too" or the more painful "Youre Invited, But Your Friend Cant Come", who is chanting that? Nikki would have murdered him for having such bad choruses. All the songs sound really fun or badass, but the choruses are lacking. They do a great job making the choruses feel big and Vince is multi-tracked and harmonized well, but the words are so lame that it robs the song of some of its exuberance. 

I love "Fine, Fine Wine" that riff is just so good. I love how Vince launches into the song full force. The lyrics about describing each part of this woman's anatomy being a total knock out is great. I also think this is their best chorus. It is the most glammy, it short, sweet and sexual. The solo is so fucking awesome and comes back to multi-tracked Vince with no music singing the chorus. The arrangements on this album are so killer.  This is a really strong glam metal album cut. 

I really enjoy the ballad "You Cant Change Me" you can tell Jack Blades and Tommy Shaw had their hands on this one because this is right in their wheelhouse. It is fun and you really want to sing along with it. This is not one of those heavy power ballads about love lost. It is a song of defiance and independence. "You Cant Change Me" absolutely crushes the banal, trite power ballad at the end, "Forever".

There are two songs on this album that Motley Crue and no 80s heavy metal band would ever play those are "Edge" and "Living Is A Luxury". These are the songs that really make this album stand out more than a really, really great party album. On the "Edge", Steve Steven goes fucking crazy, there are Spanish Guitars, classical guitar, a MONSTER riff then this wild lead that plays over the riff. Vince sings this song about "glory" and "demons" which he would never sing in Crue.  There are so many crazy fills and guitar tracks. The solo is insane it goes from beautiful Flamenco guitars to blistering solo because Steve Stevens is a genius. "Living Is A Luxury" is also a wild song it sort of this fun, jazzy, dare I say Broadway number. I actually think this could be Vince Neil's best vocal performance since Theatre of Pain. He actually had to show some emotion and create a character with a little bit of sass on this song. The loud-soft dynamics are great and the addition of the horns in the middle song are exactly perfect for that part. The softness of the verses where Neil is allowed to shine and explain how dangerous it is out there and then they kick it in with big metal riff is great. The solo is my second favorite after the one on "Set Me Free" as it sounds like a harmonized Megadeth solo from the Rust In Peace era. 

There is a lot of reasons why this album is forgotten and why it should have sucked. It came out in 1993 and was already outdated and passe. It is the solo album by the second most famous member of Motley Crue. It is Vince Neil who is a drunk asshole and seems like he is about as dumb as a fucking rock. This album should have been a disaster, but instead it is fucking amazing. Vince gives a great performance on every single song, really putting his all into it and also working with some really challenging material. The real reason this album is a wild success is because of Steve Stevens. He did an excellent job arranging the music and really providing some unique sounds. Ultimately, this was a chance for Stevens to go balls to the wall and he delivers with a guitar-album that just smokes. If you love 1980s metal, you owe it to yourself to give this album a spin, you wont regret it. 

KISS & Motley Crue Concert: Why I am a Carny and Proud of It

Hey yo,

The first two offensive plays of Michigan Football I saw this season were an amazing run by Denard and then an interception. I think that sums up Michigan’s offense for the past 5 years now.

Im willing to bet $20 this throw ended up being an interception.

In true Carny fashion, my next blog will not as promised include Hulk Hogan. It will instead be a comparison between Rey Mysterio, Dean Malenko and Ultimo Dragon from WCW crusierweight division hey-day.  It is about time I learned the difference between a plancha and a tope. 

I attended the Motley Crue & KISS concert this past Sunday and I am glad to report that Carny bullshit is still alive and well. In a corporatized, watered-down world, Crue and KISS still fly their Carny Freak Flag High. (pun fully intended though apparently Gene Simmons is a life-long Straight Edger) I am not upset one iota.  As a total Carny mark, I am glad that there are still metal bands with gimmicks. Crue and KISS were just that good at this dying breed of art. The Treatment, a British sleeze band, opened them and sounded surprisingly really friggin good. There were a couple of songs I thought would have been hits in 1987 or so. Their closing song, “Shake The Mountain” gave Nate and me plenty of material for jokes through the night describing a girl’s ass as a mountain is hilarious to me at least. Motley Crue is the first band that I have seen for a second time live and I have to say they totally outdid themselves.

I had to have some hot babes...O wait that is Motley Crue. Damnit Conned again!!!! Damn you CRUE!!!!

The big difference seemed to be a much healthier Mick Mars, who plays some of the most low-down, nastiest guitar licks ever and live they seem just that much more filthy. Mars is one of the best live guitarists because he never plays the songs as an exact replica from the studio album. I have heard the studio album before a million times and I do not need to hear it again. Mars adds a lot more value to the experience by changing his tone and adding flares to his work. His guitar solos were a personal highlight as it felt like Eddie Van Halen meets New York Dolls just wicked buzzsaw guitars. Tommy Lee made his mark by not just bringing back his 360 Drumcoaster, but also playing a dubstep-flared drum solo that grooved like no other. That’s the exact thing, I have heralded about Crue, is their desire to always evolve with the times, but never lose the Crue sound and edge. Was Vince spotty and at times did he sound like a chipmunk? Sure, but that is part of the rawness and edge of the concert. I am a much bigger Crue fan than I am a KISS fan so I was worried that KISS just would not live up to the hype.

Boy, was I wrong. The best part of KISS was that they did every tried and true gimmick from the 70s in 2012. I can understand if you are my Dad’s age and had seen this repeatedly and it bores you. However as a fan in 2012, who is seeing KISS for the first time, I was so excited to see all the cool gimmicks live. Gene breathing fire during Firehouse, drooling blood and ascending to the heavens for God of Thunder, the ending of Black Diamond, all made it seemed like you were watching an authentic KISS show from 1976, it just happened to be in 2012. The most unintentionally hilarious part was Paul Stanley’s speaking voice, which sounds like Jewish Grandma from Brooklyn. Such quotes as “Good people! Good People of the Congregation I want to sing you with me!” and “I want everyone to get real crazy right now because I want to take a picture with all” were enhanced by the fact it sounded like somebody’s grandmother was in KISS.

Chief Purveyors of Carny Bullshit

The best part of the whole, combined shows was the carny attitude both bands maintain. I am not just talking the whole incredible production of dancers on stilts, a drumcoaster, fire-breathing, a shit ton of pyro, flames, raised platform, enough make-up to make most hookers feel underdress, I am talking about how the band carried itself and how they talked. When Paul Stanley said, “I just bought this song on iTunes, today. I am in the KISS army. I support the band” I loved it and not just because it sounded hilarious. It was absurdly disingenuous. You know he has been saying that from day one of the Tour, but he is still up there hocking the shit at you. It is terrific Carny BS. Or when Paul made sure to include Providence, RI or made sure he noted “To all you way in the back, I can hear you and feel you.” The cynical may think “Sheesh yeah right”, but deep down that Carny Bullshit has a semblance of truth because it does take all of us to sell-out and a packed arena makes him feel just as young as the fans who need the KISS show to feel young again. Without that packed arena, KISS is just like a bunch of other washed-up rock bands. So for Paul to say that to us is the verbal recognition of the truth that he does need everyone of us. It is one of the great mutualistic symbiotic relationships. KISS, Crue and the fans teleport each other to 1983 and a true escape of mortality can be achieved. That is Carny Bullshit transcends all Carny Bullshit because the Con becomes the mark for his own con. Wait, didn’t I pay $72 for this concert? O yeah, I am still the mark.

Every carny has to have his gimmick. Mine are just BIGGER!

I will never be able to fully describe it, but I like a slight bit of disingenuousness, I like gimmicks, I like larger than life, outrageous characters. Of my own generation, I have to say I am probably in the minority when it comes to these things. Part of it is that people want to relate to characters rather to aspire to be characters. Part of it, I have reasoned that it is most people simply do not like to be duped. Part of it is that they do not like the idea of their entertainment being smarter than they are. The ultimate reason that has rendered Carny Bullshit as a dying art is that people HATE disingenuousness. People want to be sitting with their metaphorical “dick in their hand” wondering is what I saw real or fake? Am I laughing with him or at him? Should I feel stupid or stupefied? However, once that question has been answered and the con exposed, most people turn violently on the con.  Why feel stupid when instead you can mock the Carny from your Pedestal of Enlighment? “You like that?!?!?!? Don’t you know it is fake!!!!” laughing all the way home in their moment of superiority. That is the key, they hate the slight disingenuousness of it being passed off as real. Me, that is what I love.

People think if you pay money to the con that you are the mark, you are gullible and that is a weakness. I rather evaluate the Carny on the merits of whether his gimmick entertains me rather than its validity.  So all you Carny haters, you can have your self-righteous smugness, instead I am going to keep my ear-to-ear smile. KISS and Motley Crue was the most fun I had at a concert because they delivered the one half of two most important human essentials: Circus.

As for the Bread, I have always been amazed by the amount of FAITH atheists have.

#4 Motley Crue - Too Fast For Love: Birth of Glam Metal

ROCKTOBERFEST: A Countdown of the 31 Most Bitchin Glam Metal Albums

#4 Motley Crue - Too Fast For Love (Released 1981) Platinum #77 Billboard 200

Ode to Sticky Fingers. You can actually like Vince Neil's Crotch on Facebook. I have. Have you?

Vince Neil (Egg-Burrito Crotch) - Vocals

Mick Mars (P.I.M.P.) - Guitars

Nikki Sixx (What's a shower) - Bass

Tommy Lee (Fat Chick Thrilla)

The year was 1981 and a ragtag bunch of 3 Sunset Strip miscreants and their older, hired gun axe-slinger recorded the album that changed the world of music. Not many bands can say they created a whole genre of music, but Motley Crue can claim to hold that distinction. With the release of Too Fast For Love, Motley Crue took glam rock, punk rock and heavy metal and mixed it into the complex, filthy genre of glam metal. But first for this all to be realized someone had to die. That person was a guy named Frankie. Born from this man’s death was Nikki Sixx, the true persona of Frankie. You just got to love glam and their flair for the dramatic. So lets begin with the Ballad of Nikki’s alter ego and his death. On with the show…

The riffs are so heavy, distorted and raw. The bass is fuzzy. The drums are loud and driving. The vocals alternate between sneering and screaming. The mix is unpolished. There is nothing pretty about this album and that is the point that the pop metal albums missed. Yet there is something irresistible of the Dirt shoveled by this band. It is the earnestness of living on the streets. The album is a true snapshot of 1980-81 Hollywood. On all the other albums, Motley Crue plays characters and because of who I am I see the beauty and magic in that artificial construct.  If something had to be real in order to offer the world value, economists, fiction authors and anything involving theoretical models would be out of jobs. But for this one album, the Crue are who they are. A struggling, crude band that don’t really know how to play their instruments, but God fuckin Damn all the haters because they are making it and they are dragging everyone kicking and screaming to the streets. That is what I care about. Show me some damn heart and I will love you. Fuck the chops where is the heart.

Or as the members of Crue would say where are the HUGE TITS!!! What Does everybody want? HEAD! HEAD! HEAD! What else? CRUE! CRUE! CRUE! CRUE!

Shut up, Martin! The Boys in the Crue dont care about waxin philosophic! Show Your Tits!

I speak a lot of urgency when writing these reviews and that is what so many “rock” bands miss from today’s music. Their music isn’t urgent. The band members aren’t conveying the idea that you need to listen to this NOW because if you don’t you are missing something cool. On the Crue album, you have no idea what will happen next. Is Vince going to start just showing off his screamin ability like in “Come On and Dance”.

Seriously listen to Vince go during the last minute or so. Jesus, why couldn’t I get to see that live. 

What riff will Mick Mars play next (Take Me To The Top) or in his whirlwind solo in Piece of Action? What interesting subject will Nikki Sixx pen next (Merry Go-Round)? How will Tommy Lee take over songs (Piece of Action)? When is the last time you listened to an album and were taken on a roller coaster ride? That is what Too Fast For Love offers a wild, unbridled and dynamic look at life on the sordid streets of Hollywood. I like formulae as much as the next human because I like consistency and safety. This is an album of individualism that was a man’s vision, who brought along three other men to create an album about the human condition. This album represents a triumph for individualism against the forces of stagnation. Now Take Me To The Top, Mick…

The first song off the album was penned specifically for Vince Neil’s unique delivery. Besides singing for Crue, Neil was destined to fuck, drink and sing Sweet and Cheap Trick covers. Sixx, a huge fan of these bands, crafted Livewire for this preening, reedy voice. Livewire pre-dates Thrash metal by a good two years, but it would stand to be the fastest, heaviest, thrashiest song LA would produce until Metallica and Slayerrrrr would arrive on the scene. This Motorhead meets Cheap Trick track is infectious. It begins with that speed metal riff that smokes and sounds exactly like the song title, a Livewire. When Vince screams “SHOUT!” we are off the races with a killer double-bass attack. Vince screams like his life is dependent on it. The song introduces the idea that is consistent through every Crue song, Nikki writes the song so that everyone knows exactly what the song is called so Livewire is the most common lyric. The breakdown (there is no solo as this was supposedly a punk song) is awesome lyrically as Neil cocky as ever proclaims “You better lock your door because I am on the PROWL tonight.” Before we hit the big finish complete with plenty of cow-bell and high-wattage riffage. 

There is only one video from this album and it is for Livewire and it illustrates every trick from the Crue playbook at the time. Right off the bat, there is a skull with a pentagram on it. Immediately, there is an edge to it. You are NOT supposed to watch it. Then that speed metal riff hits. With the exception of Motorhead, just the idea of that riff was so completely foreign to the human mind. It is so loud and aggressive. Then all the theatrics. Mick drooling blood. Nikki setting his pants on fire. Vince bradnshing a flaming sword. Tommy being chained to a chair in S&M fashion. The black and red leather, the chains, the ghoulish make-up, the candles, skulls, the pentagrams on the bass drums. All these come together to create the total Crue package. Glam metal never was an audio genre. A glam metal can be excellent by itself, but glam metal is truly an audio-visual genre. It is like Shakespeare. You can read Shakespeare and enjoy it and capture value from it. But to truly appreciate it you must see it unfold before your eyes and it is exactly the same way with glam metal. Hey Shakespeare was crafted for the masses too with its tawdry jokes and so when the Crue is singing about women’s legs in the air they are just continuing the tradition. Sorry girls these four men are Too Fast For Love (very Cheap Trick)…    

The next song, I am picking and this is like picking between my children is Public Enemy No. 1. The riff is melodic as it is raw. This is a perfect example of a British glam rock song taken distorted and injected with sleaze and made into a glam metal song. There is of course the requisite cowbell. I love a song when the lead riff is the same melody as the vocal melody. I am such a sucker for that. I also love the lyric, “Coming home as fast as the speed of sound”. I love how the pre-chorus crescendos cogently into the chorus of “Public Enemy No. 1”. The solo features Mars’ distinctive dirty playing. There is no finger-tapping, no technical flare. Mars actually a student of Hendrix, Beck and many blues-rock guitarists brought a very different style to Southern California then the Van Halen, Rhoads, and speed metal guitarists had. This combined with Sixx’s love for glam led to this unique sound.

Let’s slow it down with what I think is Crue’s most beautiful song, Starry Eyes. I don’t what it is early glam, but they had a knack for making hypnotic choruses.  The gong just goes off and I am in a trance. Vince’s voice just drips with emotion and vulnerability. The Crue are often the cocky braggarts that cannot be beaten, but when Nikki shows that vulnerability, it can truly be beautiful. The rhythm section just keeps that pounding in time. The riff is a buzzsaw, but is hypnotic itself just going up and down. While, Vince repeats Starry Eyes over and over again, but even in itself simplicity there is elegance because of his delivery. 

Finally we end this lengthy review with the song that single-handedly crafted the genre of sleaze rock. The lyric “use you up and throw you away” will forever be the sleaziest lyric of all-time. The riff just builds and builds. Vince begins in a preening, seductive whispering. Then he goes into his falsetto, while the tension builds in the music. Then Tommy just lets it all out and music just lets out in the climax while Vince screams “Get a piece of your action! Uh huh!” I love how he lets out on “uh huh”. The solo on this one is absolute roller-coaster that ends in a really cool climax that I do not want to ruin so just go listen to the song. This one is definitely in my top 5 of all-time favorite Motley Crue songs. 

After the verbal blowjob, I just gave Crue what they fuck could top this album. Let me say that this is definitely one of my favorite albums of all-time in any genre. I firmly think if you ever want to pass real judgment on  glam metal, you have to listen to this album once.  LONG LIVE THE CRUE! CRUE! CRUE! CRUE! CRUE!

  

To play us out is a song about a man that got too much, too soon and wound up at the Merry Go-Round.