Lorde: Next C*bain?

A 16 year old Kiwi, named Lorde, has taken aim at the Throne with a massive artillery shelling in the form of "Royals". This anti-materialistic anthem revels in the ordinary and glorifies the everyday while taking the worshipers of hedonism to the task for their seemingly vapid, inane ideals. This rabble-rouser is riding a groundswell of support from those disenchanted with the current financial system that seems to be rigged against them. There is no better way to throw it in their gluttonous faces then by declaring they can be happy without money. There is freedom in the intensely intimate connections of everyday life so she declares. However, she does not call out the Bankers of Wall Street, but yet the Hustlers & Starlets of the Music Industry.

Lorde is not a politician and from all accounts she does not claim to be one . She is not here to reform the global socio-economic situation. She is a musician that is on a crusade to reform music. In her mind as a "serious" musician there is no bigger blight on popular music that those who espouse the trite desire for fame and fortune. She is in it for the art. They are in for the money. She is real. They are artificial. She states quite powerfully, "Pop music does not have to be stupid" in an MTV interview. This leads one to believe her music is not stupid. In her song, she derides the common tropes of rap/hip-hop songs, if I could paraphrase "You can have all that shit, I will take real life any day of the week". The key phrase before she does her list is "It is all...". As if to state that her radio is a whitewash of superstars prattling incessantly about materialism and sex. She is lashing out against the status quo. She is breaking down the Wall of Shallow with Depth Torpedos. (This CNN article says everything I want to about how un-racist this song is http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/09/showbiz/lorde-royals-racism-spat/index.html)

In one song, she clearly states what she thinks music should be and draw a line in the sand on who the enemy is. It would have been one thing for her to take position that reality is just as satisfying as fantasy, but to call out those "impure" artists displays a great deal of gumption. This is what I appreciate the most about Lorde is that she is taking a stand. However, I am a staunch proponent of that other side of the wall. I believe music and all entertainment should be wish fulfillment. I have no desire to be reminded how boring real life could be by listening to someone's else boring life. Anyone who knows me knows that I would loathe pretty much everything about this song. From the elevator music arrangement, to the pretentious lyrics, to her arrogant stance as a "serious" musician all just make me want to crank Tigertailz and Faster Pussycat to 11 to drown out this drivel. Christ sake, the genre is called Chillwave. Is there anything more vomit-inducing? I do not want to belabor my opinions on the song because I am more excited about the idea of Lorde than what I believe to be the ephemeral implications of the song.

I love a good feud. There is nothing more disappointing than when two artists pussy-foot around the issue. Put all your cards on the table, no more platitudes that give verisimilitude that you two are all buddy and buddy. You call me fake. I call you boring. Let the audience decide who is right. In 1991, Kurt C*bain led a power trio known as Nirvana in a highly successful revolt against the excess of glam metal much to my chagrin. After an eight year reign of dominance in hard rock and heavy metal music, glam metal vanished without a trace by 1993. I was not alive for such a seismic shift in the rock landscape, but times of transition have always piqued my interest. You get that real sense of "us versus them" that has always appealed to me. In the end Captain Buzzkill much like the Prophet Amos, lowered the boom "Party's over. Get ready for exile." While the ending is disappointing for me, the ride is very interesting as '91 and '92 are very interesting times for heavy metal.

Unfortunately, I do not think this level of buzz will be sustained and not because I am expecting Lorde to flop. Quite the opposite, I think no one will fight back. The status quo will take a non-violent stance of integration. The Backstreet Boys have already extended feelers to collaborate. This clearly reeks of desperation on their part to become relevant again, but this is a clear example of jumping on board the Lorde Express. I predict you will see some less entrenched pop stars (think Selena Gomez who has covered "Royals" live) conform to this image to extend their ow shelf life.  I predict you will see other big name pop stars declare "her music is so chill, I would love to collaborate with her". At that point, she will be welcomed to the pop sisterhood and the buzz is dead. She will just be another pop star albeit with another gimmick. Katy is the adorable one, Miley is the crazy one, and Lourde is the nerd. What set her apart was not that she was "real", but that she was contentious. She just went in the bar and she punched the baddest muthafucker in the mouth and now they are besties?!?!?! http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/lorde-finds-a-fan-in-kanye-west-20131011

So while I am pulling for a Ke$ha diss track, the better half of me knows that Ke$ha probably digs that song. She will commend the song for "authenticity". Just like that you can see Lorde blend into the boundless sea of pop stars.

Regardless, I love the headlines like "Lorde talks about Pizza and Saving Pop Music". I love that she said "I don't know if I can write something "pure" enough for the Backstreet Boys". I love that she fashions herself a "serious, authentic" artist. I want to fight even if it only exists in my own mind. I found someone to fight for in Ke$ha and now I have found someone to fight against in Lorde even if it is just in my own mind. In that way, Lourde has fulfilled my wish.

This one is for you, Lorde!