Macho Madness: Die Hard Edition

Hey yo bromigoes and bromgias,

Busy day, applying to jobs. Just going to get to it.

The past three reviews have focused on Randy Savage in an unnatural state as a babyface. Don’t get me wrong Randy Savage is a great babyface. However, heel Randy Savage is his work that made him one of the legendary figures in the history of pro wrestling. In July of 1996, the wrestling world was turned upside down when Hulk Hogan, the epitome of good, turned heel and founded the New World Order with Kevin Nash and Scott Hall. This led to greatest wrestling boom in history. Yes, folks, Hulk Hogan can point to the fact that he ushered in two separate wrestling booms in two different decades. The man is very good at what he does.

New-New-New-New World Order. For-For-For-For Life 

Savage after fighting the nWo (I hate autocorrect so much every time I spell out nWo it changes it to now, fuck it) through the winter of ’96. Savage figures if you cant beat ‘em join ‘em.  He became the nWo’s workhorse and picked a fight with a wrestler by the name of “Diamond” Dallas Page (DDP for short) over Kimberly (his wife and total hottie) appearing in Playboy. This is my all-time favorite Savage promo as he manages to imply he had sex with Pamela Anderson and says Liz and Tommy Lee were both cool with it. Then he spray-paints DDP and Liz spray-paints Kimberly. It was deliciously nasty. Of course, DDP, who had been rejecting the nWo’s overtures to join had to fight for his honor and challenged Savage to a No Disqualification match.

Brief background on DDP: he actually started as a scuzz-ball manager for wrestlers not particularly cast as a good one, just a real sleazy one. Think of how band managers are usually portrayed in the movies. He began wrestling late into the 30’s, much later than most. He kept his scumbag from Jersey gimmick, very white trash. Then in 1997 for whatever reason, WCW decided to turn him babyface giving him the gimmick of the common man that is going it along to fight the unstoppable machine known as the New World Order. Page, stood his ground, asking help from no man and proved himself to a true gritty, blue-collar warrior in this nearly year-long feud. 

The Common Man and his Uncommon Wife

“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs “Diamond” Dallas Page in a No Disqualification Match.

Spring Stampede 1997

Savage’s backstage rant was hilariously spectacular. “I’m going to moiderize the bum. Then I am going to to throw a party. Invite a lot of women. Maybe 14 or 22. You got a problem with that, Liz? Not a problem. I LIKE THAT! SLIM JIMS FOR EVERYONE!!!”

Kimberly’s waist is wicked tiny and double damn is she hot. DDP and Kimberly walk to the ring with a purpose and Tony shills that DDP is the common man, a People’s Champion that has a story that resonates with everyone. Savage taunts DDP telling him that this is “his last day on the planet Earth”.  Savage does some stalling tactics, but Page is pissed and he takes to the Macho Man. Page is so pissed he almost kills Savage on a horrible atomic drop. Savage blocks the Diamond Cutter by hooking the ropes. Savage runs over DDP on the outside and almost takes on Kim. They do the usual 1997 tour of the arena with garbage cans and cables.

I have a string of pearls for those girls.

Back to ringside, Savage, the Paragon of Virtue, her is, pulls Kim hides behind DDP’s wife to halt DDP’s momentum. Elizabeth, lookin fineeeeeee, rakes DDP’s back and Savage shoves Kim into DDP and the waffles DDP sandwhiching Kimberly. Kimberly, who was not a fan of wrestling and never seemed very into it, must have hated working with Savage. Macho Man was a terrifying loose cannon that just flew around ringside like a whirlwind really knocking anything over that got in his way. An overzealous fan attempts to spur on DDP with such exhortations as “Look out behind you! He is going after Kimberly!” Alas, Savage is still able to connect with his double axe-handle as DDP was draped over the guardrails. Got to love, marks. Savage sends DDP into the ring steps and he seems oddly deliberate, maybe it is because DDP and him realized that DDP would blow up if they wrestled the usual Savage pace. I like it because it gives a new wrinkle to the Savage formula and it is almost more vicious.

Macho Man goes for a cover with his feet on the ropes, but DDP kicks out. Savage accuses the ref of a slow count and Liz thinks the ref needs glasses. Um, ok? Strike One against the ref. Savage jumps out to ringside and intimidates Michael Buffer taking his chair. He smacks DDP across the back with his chair. The ref grabs the chair and removes it. Strike Two against the ref. Savage now pissed. Beat the ever-loving shit out of the ring announcer and tosses the chair into the ring, but that allows the debilitated DDP to get back into the match. The announcers put over DDP’s will to win and defend Kimberly even as Savage is picking him apart. Savage kills DDP with a clothesline. Savage catches DDP’s foot, which leads to the usual DDP spot, where he spins around and hits a desperation clothesline. Even dumb Tony saw it coming making Savage look kind of dumb. 

That dastardly Macho Man. OOOOOHHHHH YEEEAAAAHHHH!!! Dig It!

The move took too much of DDP and Savage regains the advantage with a low-blow, however DDP continues to try to get his feet, really putting over his guts. Savage again intimidates Buffer, this time grabbing his signature weapon: the ring bell. Savage randomly shoves a cameraman. People must hate working Savage matches, such a Wildman. Kimberly snags the ringbell eventually, come on Kim, fuckin up the match. Savage to the top, but DDP gets his boot up and a beautiful sell-job by Savage. He now hit one of Savage’s favorite spot a backslide, which only gets two. Strike Three against the ref, you are outta here. Savage grabs the ref by the chin, paintbrushes him, piledrives him, rips his shirt, takes his belt off, and finally whips him and then whips DDP. HEEL SAVAGE IS THE FUCKIN MAN!!!!

The Brain wonders if the ref will ever walk again because he only has a 12 inch neck. BWHAHAHAHAHA Tony wonders WHAT HAVE WE BECOME????? Riveting, cutting social commentary. Apparently, someone explained to Dusty what playing possum is as he understands what Tony is talking about.

The heel turn resurrected both their careers.

A picture-perfect big elbow drop seriously that may be one of the best one ever by Savage (that was the desktop background for my computer when I was 8 years old for the longest time, could not find the picture). No ref. Evil nWo ref, Nick Patrick is out and embraces Savage. DDP, playing possum,  hits the Diamond Cutter, which WCW did a great job making it into a devastating finisher. Savage sells it well being out for a couple minutes. Patrick ends the drama by making the count giving DDP the win. “Big Sexy” Kevin Nash (nWo member) is incensed as he was observing and sticks Patrick with a powerbomb. Savage finally up goes LOONEY TUNES!!! Grabs Kimberly by the hair and threatens to deck her. This goes too far even for the nWo and Eric Bischoff (nWo president) steps in to calm down and reason with the Macho Man. So Savage shoves Bischoff and then decks him. That is why friends is why I love nWo Savage, totally unpredictable and out of control. You never knew what the hell he would do next. 

DDP is notorious for being a meticulous  pre-match planner. Most wrestlers work out the major spots beforehand, but fill in the gaps based on crowd reactions. Savage acknowledged that DDP couldn’t cut the pace he was accustomed to thus worked a very DDP-style match. Savage was great at adapting to different styles and really showed his versatility. He worked a deliberate pace, but it was still a chaotic Savage match as he was using everyone at ringside as props and ultimately decking his own boss. It is not a great match in  the traditional wrestling-way even as brawl. What it is a great character showcase. The gritty, gutsy common man fighting for his wife’s honor against a loose canon that has totally snapped and is steamrolling everyone. I give it ****.  DUH! I figured out another reason why the match was wrestled so undecidely Savage. They wanted to tell the story that Savage was not taking DDP seriously as in his league because DDP has been a career mid-carder and this is first ever PPV main event. Thus explaining why Savage’s intensity was down early on and why he fucked around with everyone. He took Page a lot more seriously in the following matches. I love it when storytelling becomes apparent.

I bet he is going to say scum or JAAAACCCCKKKKEEEDDDD!

Now that DDP has proved he can hang with the Macho Man. It is time for Savage to take DDP seriously and crush his dreams.

“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs “Diamond” Dallas Page – No DQ Match

Great American Bash 1997

Liz is in quite the sequined, black jumpsuit, Savage is all business and it looks like he finally taking DDP seriously. You know how I can tell he licks his lips like an insane gecko. Tony expects that this fight will go all over the arena and given DDP’s limitations, I agree.  “SELF HI-FIVE” and the Smells Like Jersey Scum plays over the speakers as the sexy as all hell Kimberly gives the Diamond Cutter signal in the entrance-way distracting the Madness. DDP sneak attacks the Macho Man, hell after Savage’s Wildman performance last time, DDP has some big balls just stepping in the ring with this Madman. Page has the infamous taped ribs, which would last approximately  2 years and would give his matches an instant sympathy card, while he looked like a million bucks in the fans’ eyes for fighting through the pain and gutting it out. It was like the reverse Cowboy Bob Orton arm injury. I think it was a good gimmick.

Early cutter attempt and Savage wisely takes a powder. Pescado over the top onto the floor by DDP wipes out the Macho Man, but Page hurts his ribs. The Brain questions the wisdom of the move given both the ribs and the fact he has never done such a high-risk move. Tony retorts this shows the guts of DDP and just the lengths he will go to hurt Savage. Savage right on the ribs because he smells blood, baby. Savage hides behind Liz, but this brings out DDP’s inner scumbag and tosses Liz out of the way and calls her a bimbo. B.I.M.B.O. B.I.M.B.O. B.I.M.B.O. and Bimbo was her name-o. I am getting a strong John McClane of Die Hard vibe from DDP, I am digging it, which Brain emphasizes that DDP is willing to take on the New World Order by himself and is a double tough man for it. Savage gets the eye-rake like a true Macho Man apparently how the ribs were injured was petite Liz slamming a car door on DDP’s side. Really, Liz was on the one to do that irreparable damage. Fear and adrenaline can do wild things for a woman, as we found out from Desperate Housewives. Now we take the tour of the arena with Savage in command until Page sends him into a brick wall in desperation. Dusty gets excited about the PLUNDAH~! (a crutch) And says that DDP is really rag-tagging him. What??? Savage gains himself a breather by sending DDP crashing ribs first into the ring steps. Then Liz gives Savage a mysterious white substance, *wink* *wink*. Before Savage can ride the white lightning to victory, DDP approaches so Savage tosses his “energy powder” into DDP’s face taking some sort of PLUNDAH from Page and breaking it over his head. Savage exposes the ribs as the announcers discuss the psychological affects, Dusty says now Savage is doing the rag-tagging. Fans chant for the everyone’s favorite recluse, “WE Want Sting!” to put an end to this inhumanity. Personally, I don’t think the Macho Man has even begun. Yep, I was right. Savage has a zero tolerance policy for the ref’s tonight. He spits on this one, decks him, tears his shirt off and piledrives him into next week. If this was Memphis, Savage would be in prison and that ref would be legally dead. DDP is kicking and clawing, even hitting a headbutt, I have never seen DDP do that. Savage tosses a second ref over the top. Story of the match: Savage is not fuckin around. DDP gets another flurry, but this is all Macho Man as he lariats him over the top rope.

Ruh roh, Savage catches sight of Kimberly and grabs her by the hair bringing her over the guardrail. This nearly causes a fuckin riot in the front row. Seriously everyone is yelling obscenities at the Macho Man and at least two guys are thinking about taking a swing at him. Heel Macho Man, everyone, that best in the business. Another ref and this one calms him down before anything he regrets happen. Classic Macho high-knee to DDP’s back as Page was trying to create separation up the ramp. They end up finding a gimmicked BBQ picnic area that some VIP fans are sitting at. DDP takes advantage of all this PLUNDAH~! Really turning the tide with it. Dusty desperately wants him to use the grill and pops like mad when it happens. I love Big Dust. DDP leads Savage back to the ring by choking him with his own shirt. Once back, he sets up Savage to go balls-first into the ringpost. Signals for the Cutter, so Savage hits the jawbreaker, he really should stop signaling for it. Savage removes the protective mats off the floor and looks to maim DDP by piledriving him on the exposed concrete. When the ref tries to stop him, Savage decks him. ZERO TOLERANCE. Savage, being an uber-dick, decides to physically intimidate a photographer at ringside. I have watched wrestling for 15 years and 99% of everything you see is choreographed. But when Savage goes on his rampages of attacking cameramen and other ringside attendants you just don’t know. I love that of feeling chaos.

This gives DDP enough time to get hold of a chair and waffle Savage. Savage counters with a low-blow. Page reverses a suplex attempt into the DIAMOND CUTTER~! WCW did such a good job putting over that finisher as deadly. Savage does his job and sells it like a champ.  But the is NO REF, Tony. The crowd is going apeshit. Here comes Scott Hall (nWo member) with the WCW Tag Team title in tow. He is ineffective at first, but the numbers game catch up to DDP as Savage clobbers him with the belt from behind. Outsider Edge (Crucifix Powerbomb) by Hall on Page that almost ends up getting fucked up, but it was one of the better ones I have seen. Hall tells Savage to go up top and hit him with elbow. Savage, ever-present of trying to get just that much more heat from the crowd, goes to a different corner. Why? So he can kick the unconscious ref. It is the little things that make Savage the greatest. Big elbow and the pin is academic.

This time the New World Order and Savage don’t fuck around. There is no deliberate attacks from Savage and a true nWo member comes out to make sure that Savage gets the duke. I don’t feel this match is quite up to snuff of the other two, but I don’t feel like splitting hairs and using quarter stars. This is a very good match and tells a great story. ***1/2

The Bad Guy

With that tainted finish, DDP finally realized he needed some reinforcements, which lead him to bring in Curt Hennig (Mr. Perfect in WWF) as his tag partner to combat the nWo of Randy Savage and Scott Hall. After some miscommunication between those two, he recruited, our old friend the “Total Package” Lex Luger to team against Savage and Hall. Finally at Halloween Havoc, the big blowoff to the feud would take place in a Death Match. Don’t worry, while Savage may have threatened to murder Page back in April, the outcome of this match is not that the loser dies. Rather, you win by incapacitating your opponent so they can not answer a ten count. This match has been re-branded a Last Man Standing match in modern times for obvious reason.

“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs “Diamond” Dallas Page – Death Match

Halloween Havoc 1997

     

Liz is rocking sexy leather short shorts. HAVE MERCY!!! OOOOHHHH YEEEEEAAAAHHHH!! Savage’s promo before this is a thing of beauty. “Slim Jim’s Halloween Havoc. Snap Into It! Check it out! Party Time. Las Vegas. It’s a gamble. But we like to gamble, don’t we? YES WE DO!!!!” DDP is in jeans because this is not a wrestling match, scumbag (DDP had a real penchant for using the word scumbag). This is a FIGHT~! Savage is choosing instead to rep his Slim Jim’s deal on his jacket, well Savage is fuckin BATSHIT so he doesn’t need jeans to convey he is in for a FIGHT~! The infamous ribs are still taped.  No Kimberly.

“Savage will drive you nuts” – The Brain, perfect.

They start outside, obviously, with Savage gaining the early advantage by working over the ribs. Page with nasty biel using Savage’s own shirt. Page hesitates allows Savage to hotshot DDP across the top rope. Macho Man is using combination of jabs and chokes to maintain control in the corner. Brief flurry of offense from DDP ends with both men colliding in a double clothesline. Dusty takes him to time define a double clothesline, which renders colleagues speechless that he spent time to explain something so self-explanatory.  I LOVE BIG DUST! Failed Diamond Cutter attempt leads to Page performing his pescado onto Macho Man on the floor. Dusty wonders why they are not using the “Utensils and PLUNDAH~!” Savage clobbers DDP with a double axe-handle as he was draped across the guardrail. Savage then connects with a nasty axe-handle off the guardrail onto a prone Page in the crowd. Sick spot. When Savage shouts “Move out of the way!” you move the fuck out of the way because he will run your bitch-ass over. Dusty is excited as the prospect of PLUNDAH~! Instead of a BBQ picnic, there is a prop cemetery setup with prop tombstones that Page uses to regain advantage and then hits Savage with some sort of object, which prompts the Dream to go into hysterics just shouting “HE WAFFLE-LEGGED HIM!” His colleagues try to continue commentating, but Dusty has gone into a trance just repeating that. Say it with me, I love Big Dust. Dusty informed me it is a “waitress tray” and Tony basically says “What the fuck?”Savage’s continuous work on the ribs is affecting DDP’s ability to string together offense, good selling and psychology from Page. Savage finally breaks his momentum sending him ribs first into the steel guardrail, but DDP semi-blocks it. DDP is left to crawl away, while Savage regains his wits, I mean he did he just get WAFFLE-LEGGED. Most people don’t recover from getting WAFFLE-LEGGED!!! You know why Savage is able to? BECAUSE HE IS MACHO~! The Power of Slim Jims Compels!



Savage sends his ribs and then his “noggin” into steel ringsteps. But Page just keeps on coming because he has guts. Savage frustrated, smacks around a cameraman, steals camera. DDP blocks his close-up with two feet sending the camera right into the Macho Man’s face. As both men are out, Liz somehow has found Dusty’s phantom waitress, stolen her tray and proceeds to WAFFLE-LEG the referee. Immediately, Dusty is rubbing it in his colleagues faces that no one believed him about the waitress tray and for the second time, Dusty has rendered his partners silent. Holy Fuck, Liz is choking DDP with a cable, (“Extension Cord” according to Dusty). Kim comes out to put a stop that nonsense. She is all like “I am the only woman who can choke my husband for sexual pleasure, you vixen” Liz is all like “Why did Randy say I would do this spot. He doesn’t even invite me to his parties anymore.” Dusty is all like “CATFIGHT!  CATFIGHT!  CATFIGHT!  CATFIGHT!  CATFIGHT! “ Finally they get the waffle-legged referee out of there, Kimberly drags Liz to back by the hair. Savage is up and there is a new ref for him to deck.  Page hulks-up gets his typical combination of atomic drop and pancake. Savage hooks the ropes to block the Diamon Cutter. Savage selling fatigue like a champ, nearly falls off the top and then delivers an exhausted big elbow that lands on the ribs. Savage is on spaghetti-legs barley can lift Page for a bodyslam. Savage struggles to hit a big elbow, which gets him a 9-count. Savage’s selling is amazing as he is struggling just to stand. Ref bump as DDP’s leg whacks the ref’s head, but DDP reverses into the DIAMOND CUTTER!!! All three men down. 7-Count. 

Diamond cutter attempt reversed into a backslide with a low-blow kick by Savage on DDP. As Page rolls to the outside, Hogan dressed as Sting, WAFFLE-LEGS DDP in the ribs with a bat. The ref is forced to count out DDP. Savage celebrates his victory looking as if he lost, but to make him feel better he WAFFLE-LEGS a ref and takes a shot at DDP’s ribs. The commentators out over DDP’s hearts and guts and that it took two men and a woman to beat a man with busted ribs. 

I think this is one of rare instances when a wrestler wins by losing. DDP is one of the very few wrestlers that made it out of the WCW mid-card mire because he was one of the few that was well-booked, but the big help came from Savage’s selflessness. Hogan and Nash are notorious for burying people to make themselves look good and to hold them down. Savage was not afraid to lose to DDP in Page’s first PPV main event. Savage was a true professional and sold like a champ for DDP. They should show this selling performance at the end of this match to every kid that wants to be a wrestler it was that good. The story of DDP is that he is a fighter. Like John McClane of Die Hard, just a everyday blue collar guy, not afraid to get his hands dirty and get his ass-kicked while standing up for what’s right. DDP actually won by losing and a true credit to Savage to put him over and the booking team.

Killer picture, Macho Man, The Bad Guy, Hollywood Hogan, Big Sexy

This match and the Spring Stampede matches are toss-ups for me. I feel that both matches have long spells where the offense could be more varied. Basically it comes down to the character showcase for Savage’s Wildman persona at Spring Stampede vs. Savage’s incredible selling at Halloween Havoc. I give the edge to Stampede by a bit, but I call them both ****.

There you have folks, Savage’s greatest feud in WCW creates a new star and proves to be one of great selfless acts in wrestling. This is the greatest feud of the nWo era and the only close feud in 1997 was the Hart Foundation vs Stone Cold. I am a Savage mark so I would argue for this one, but most people would give the nod to Austin/Harts. But Savage did not make a name for himself in WCW. He wrestled in his prime for Vince McMahon in the WWF and it is time to venture to Savage’s most famous moments.

Macho Madness: A Son's Revenge

Hey yo bromigoes and bromigas,

Is the Cult actually relevant in 2012? No fucking way. Digging the hell out of their lead single, “For The Animals”.

Let’s not waste time, since I can never get enough Flair/Savage, lets review the early part of their series from 1995. It all began with the tag team main event between Flair and “The Mastodon” Vader against the Mega-Powers (Hogan and Savage).

The idea is simple here let’s get the four biggest names in WCW (save for Sting) in a tag team match to sell a PPV based on their name value. Vader and Flair had both unsuccessfully attempted to wrest the World Title from Hulk Hogan. Vader is one of my top 5 favorite wrestlers and is who I consider to be the greatest big man in the history of wrestling. I toss around “All-Man” sometimes, but VADER IS ALL FUCKIN MAN! The idea should have been simple have the Monster VADER BEAT Hogan for the title and then have Hogan chase and slay the monster. Hogan’s egotism got in the way. Savage had joined WCW in late 1994 and had been aimless until this match.

ITS VADER TIME!!!!

The Mega-Powers (WCW World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan & “Macho Man” Randy Savage) vs  “Nature Boy” Ric Flair & Vader.

Slamboree 1995

Since the Mega-Powers was possibly owned by the WWF, they have re-branded themselves as the Monster Maniacs, bwhahhahaha. I refuse to call them that, on the principle that I am not a tool. The faces have a cheap Ultimate Warrior rip-off with them dubbed the Renegade and the heels have Flair’s trusty side-kick, Arn Anderson.  Savage and Hogan are out in matching yellow and red. Vader and Flair don’t have quite the same co-ordination and I fear for their ability act cohesively. Renegade, who is a spaz to put it lightly, puts the fear of God in Double A, who will defend his Television Championship against the Renegade at the next PPV. One last pre-match note, Savage’s father, Angelo Poffo is at ringside for the match, having been inducted in the short-lived WCW Hall of Fame that very night.

Vader/Hogan to start. VADER FEARS NO MAN!!! AND FEELS NO PAIN!!!!  Still waiting for this match to start, come on, Hogan. Vader bumps for Hogan’s clothesline and Savage’s double axe-handle and is being treated like a jabroni. No wonder Hogan/Vader never drew. Vader takes both of the Mega-Powers out with a clothesline. Was there a tag? Flair and Savage kind of just decided enough of this snore-fest lets go. Flair Flip leads to a Hogan boot on the apron then a Flair Flop. Flair and Vader are bumping like madmen for the Megapowers. Savage invites Vader in because he is Looney Tunes.

Test of strength offered by Savage gives Flair their chance to hit a thumb to the eye. Savage is able to make the tag to Hogan. Jimmy Hart’s high-pitched whine into the mega-phone is particularly annoying tonight. Flair takes control with what else a thumb to the eye and loses control how else by going to the top and getting slammed off. Hogan adds insult to injury by slapping on a horrible looking Figure 4. This match needs more Vader. In an odd moment, Anderson comes in and gets cradled by Hogan. Ummm dude, he is not even in the match. Flair is able to clip the knee and tag in VADER~!

Vader puts on a step-over toe-hold not exactly the most eye-popping spot. The Giant makes his debut tonight by looking on, he would later join the Dungeon of Doom. Hogan no-sells a vertical suplex and lays into Vader. Why I love Vader? Instead of kicking Hogan in the face for telegraphing a back-body drop, he just runs him the fuck over. I love it. Flair chokes Hogan while Vader manhandles the ref.  Big Vader splash on Hogan in the corner. VADERBOMB~! Watching Vader dismantle the Hulkster while Flair struts is chicken soup for my soul.
Hogan moves out of the way of a second Vaderbomb. Flair strolls over allowing Hogan to tag. Savage is a house of fire, o fuck yes. Over-aggressive takes a reverse elbow from Flair. Flair gets press slammed off the top this time by Flair. BIG ELBOW~! Double A pulls Savage out, which allows Vader to chest bump Savage so hard that he goes down like a pile of bricks. Thank God, Savage is the face in peril. SAVAGE TAKES A VADERSAULT!!!!! SAVAGE IS ALL FUCKIN MAN!!! He then kicks out. Way to kill that finish. Jesus, just put a foot on the ropes. Jimmy Hart, shut the fuck up.  Flair back in with shotgun chops.

Both men are down after Savage hits a desperation lariat on Flair.  Savage makes the tag and Flair begs off into corner. Yep, 10 count punches. Hogan gouges Vader’s eyes before the big bodyslam. There is your role model, folks. Hogan’s knee gives out and a Vader splash and things look  bleak for our heroes. Savage goes after Vader, not smart. HULKING UP~! False Hulk-Up, but heel miscommunication between Flair and AA leads to Hogan dropping the leg on Flair.

Randy Savage and his father Angelo Poffo

The post-match is what is important: Flair and Anderson take it to Savage, but Randy’s dad tries to save his son only to get a beatdown from the Horseman punctuated by a Figure 4. Hogan runs them off having been detained by Vader. Thus leads to a year-long feud between Flair and Savage.

The tag match was standard Hogan fare. Vader made it fun, Flair seemed bored, Savage didn’t get enough time. Hogan didn’t want to deviate from his formula. Average match **1/2. The beatdown was too abbreviated.

Of course the next PPV, Great American Bash, would be headlined by the grudge match between the Macho Man and the Nature Boy. Finally this gives Savage his own storyling having been relegated to Hogan’s lackey for the beginning of 1995.



“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs “Nature Boy” Ric Flair
Great American Bash 1995

This may be my favorite match of all time. My two favorite wrestlers competing one of the greatest hate-filled, relentless, fight to survive matches I have ever seen. I remember being so excited to finally see Savage vs Flair, my two favorites of all time, when I finally started searching youtube 2006 and immediately it was the Wrestlemania VII match that I wanted to see it. It is a great match and a great moment in the culmination of the overarching Randy Savage Wrestlemania story arc dating back to Wrestlemania III. Something was missing. It was missing that truly out of control feel and energy that Flair and Savage can bring. Watching this match in shitty quality on dailymotion in 2008, I was transfixed. Savage was a relentless ball of fury. Lunging at Flair at ever turn. There were just these little things that made it feel like a shoot. Savage attacking Flair from behind in such a way that was scary. Or Savage just suffocating Flair even on the begging off section. There just was not the customary time. The selling was selling of exhaustion of a fight. Savage's selling of the knee was spot on and why he was one of the greatest of all time. While Savage gives a truly special performance, it would be an amazing match without Flair. Flair sells the match as a fight to survive. He is blasting the fuck out of Savage and he dives onto Savage from behind, which is another wicked bump. The way he sells. He is in pain and fatigued, but if he even takes one moment to breathe, he may not last. So he just keeps fighting. I can not say how much I love this match.

My video includes opening remarks from Savage with the interview being conducted by “Mean” Gene Okerlund. He vows revenge against Flair and the momentum is on his side. Incidentally, today is Father’s Day and a happy accident for this storyline He finishes with one of my favorite lines from him: “Too hot to handle, too cold to hold”. Flair is adorned in a black and white sequined robe decorated with Monarch Butterflies in white diamonds. Savage is also donning the black and white and HE IS NOT ALONE. His father, Angelo Poffo, is with him after the attack from the Horsemen, but with the aide of a cane. This is NOT FAIR TO FLAIR. DOUBLE A! DOUBLE A! Where art thou?

Once Poffo is settled in, Savage hits the ring and Flair heads for the hills. Savage gives chase.  Savage wants to kill Flair and any offense Flair can muster is because Savage is overzealous. Savage is hitting hard tonight. This aint a wrestling match. THIS IS A FIGHT~! Flair stops Savage’s momentum by sending him into the steel ringpost and then the guardrail. Flair with an uncharacteristic axe-handle off the apron to the back of Savage. The bump Savage takes was just violent and gripping to watch. I love it, Flair knows that Savage wants to kill so he adapts by pulling out all the stops. Angelo Poffo gets out of the chair with a look of concern as Flair is taking Savage apart with his trademark moveset of chops and kneedrops.  Savage connects with a flurry of jabs and in a fit of  rage chokes Flair and grabs at his nose. Flair takes the Bret-bump into the corner more choking. Flair tries to powder out, but Savage nails him from behind wicked hard. These are the moments that make it feel like a shoot. Flair takes his usual bump off the top rope. How does he not have crippling back injuries? Flair flip now onto the outside and now he goes after daddy. The Brain and I share the same sentiment as us that was fuckin dumb. Flair is smarter than both of us because he suckered Savage into checking on his Daddy and then clipping the knee. What follows is a shinbreaker across the guardrail, which is another crazy bump. The Brain wonders if “Did Daddy bring two canes because his son is going to need one.” The Brain continues to the tell story well, “Flair was smart he knew he was going to be able to slug it out with Savage, a man possessed. So he went to take a body part out. Flair has a plan.”

Savage throws punches from his back in a show of valor and courage. Kicking and clawing at Flair with whatever he can muster and Flair like the prick he is just keeps going back to knee. This is masterful psychology. Savage is killing it right now with his selling. NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL!!! Flair of course gets to the ropes for that additional leverage. Savage is fighting only for his father and in a truly moving spot, Mr. Poffo attempts to get the ref’s attention that Flair is cheating. This is one of the most emotional matches I have ever had the pleasure of watching. SAVAGE REVERSE THE PRESSURE!!!

Savage hops on one leg only to dive on Flair and keep punching. Flair and Savage are just laying it all on the line. Flair flip for a second time, runs down the apron but Savage hits him in the gut as he comes done. SAVAGE HITS HIM WITH BIG ELBOW!!!! He pins Flair, but pulls him at 2. NOT ENOUGH SAYS MACHO MAN  as he grabs the ring bell (shades of Ricky the Dragon) and the crowd is whipped into a frenzy. The Brain says Savage is out to maim Flair. At some point, Savage has been busted open under his eye. Holy shit, what a brawl so far. The ref saves Flair from the bell and Savage crashes and burns hard on the guardrail. What a bump, the fans in the front row are freaked out because he hit so hard. Flair is pissed off because Savage has tried to maim him. Flair goes for Angelo, Poffo chokes him with cane, but Flair knocks out Angelo and gains control of the cane. Savage having checked on his dad does not realize this. Flair waffles him with cane. Flair picks up the tainted victory.

This match epitomizes why I love wrestling: Raw hatred for each other with stiff shots, high-energy no resting with brilliant story-telling and acting. WATCH THIS MATCH! Contender for best WCW match of the decade. The last Match of the Year contender, Flair or Savage would ever have. I would say the best babyface Savage performance of his career in WCW or WWF.   ****1/2.

I would be remiss not to quote the Brain’s post-match gloating over Flair’s victory, “Take a slug of some Geritol and get up on your feet, Poffo…I want to see replay again. Ted Williams would be envious of that swing. The new Sultan of Swat, Ric Flair. You having a good Father’s Day, Mr. Poffo. What did you get for Father’s Day? You should have got a wheelbarrow to take your son back to the dressing room.” Beautifully incendiary.  

One of my favorite "regular" robes for he Nature Boy

Flair’s tainted victory means of course there needs to be a re-match. With next PPV emanating from sunny Southern California being themed the Bash At The Beach, they would logically have a Lifeguard match, which is just a lumberjack match where the wrestlers on the outside wear lifeguard outfits. Their job will be do throw back each wrestler into the ring so that Flair can to run away. Of course, inevitably, the heel lumberjacks beat on the babyface adding to drama of the match Why this sucks? This takes the outside away from Flair and Savage who some of their best wrestling outside the ring.

“Macho Man” Randy Savage vs “Nature Boy” Ric Flair – Lifeguard Match
Bash At The Beach 1995

This is on the Savage DVD so I get to review this in stunning high-quality, yippee!  This PPV was shot on location at a beach. I mean literally no seats and most men are shirtless standing on the sand. Macho Man’s dad is here, but this time he is safely among the fans. WCW held events in weird places like Road Wild being held at the big bike rally Sturgis, SD because it made them different. I will give them that. Flair is a fabulous pink robe, one of my other favorites from this era and Savage is in Mega-Powers colors and just his normal level of crazy. Not the BATSHIT INSANITY~! We witnessed in the last match. Too bad. The lifeguards include DDP, Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Ric Flair’s best friend: Arn Anderson, Harle Heat, Johnny B. Badd, Dick Slater, Bunkhouse Buck.

Savage revves up the crowd, but decidedly less pissed, lame. Savage sends Flair outside the ring for the first time. Flair’s friends try to protect him as Savage chokes him with his foot. Flair gets an atomic drop out of the corner and Savage sells like he has been shot. Over-selling, much? Flair sends Savage outside, but Savage’s friends protect him from Double A. Flair flip to the outside followed by Flair sending Savage out with a leverage move. Savage hits so hard, he lands on the beach.

Tony with some insightful commentary notes, “Savage is sweaty and now that sand will collect on his back. This will be rough going for the Macho Man.” Hahaha, Tony, ever the intrepid reporter. They perform a spot usually teased, but not executed as Savage suplexes Flair onto the outside, but it looks ugly as hell. A thumb to the eye and a reverse elbow turns the tide for the Nature Boy. This leads to a sleeper hold for Flair, Savage is just swinging almost nails the ref. Leverage move sends Flair into the top turnbuckle and this leads to the first Flair Flop. I do not know what the fuck happened, but Flair somehow cracked his jaw onto Savage’s head coming off the top and I think he really hurt himself by accident. Flair being all man, hits a shinbreaker and begins to work on Savage’s knee. Savage always game to sell the knee like a champ makes this entertaining. NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL!!!

We are in the middle of the ring, no cheating, but also no rope break opportunity for Savage. Can he reverse pressure? MA-CHO! MA-CHO! MA-CHO! Yes he does! Delayed vertical suplex by Naitch and he covers for the pin, but Savage kicks out at two.  Savage makes his comeback with jabs, blocks the atomic drop and sends Flair over the top. Flair makes a break for it, but the lifeguards track him down and sends him back in. Double axe-handle off the top, Anderson senses the end and distracts Savage long enough for Flair to get a thumb to the eye. Flair gets tossed over and is caught by the Nasties in mid-air and whil everyone is focused on that. Anderson slips in like a thief in the night and plants Savage with a DDT,
Randy, are you ok? Randy, are you ok? Are you ok, Randy? You were just hit by a smooooooth criminal.  Our hero, ever-valiant, kicks out at two and this spurs the crowd to chant MA-CHO! MA-CHO! MA-CHO! Now time for one of Savage’s favorite spots: the backslide, Savage gets him down for two. Savage is fuckin horrible at avoiding the reverse elbow and Flair sucks at executing a move from the top. Savaeg with another double axe-handle, scoop slam and now he hits THE BIG ELBOW~! The pin is academic. Macho Man gets revenge for his father.

A very good Savage/Flair match, but lacking the passion and intensity of the previous match. It just seemed like just another Savage/Naitch match when Savage should have been fighting for the honor of his father. This match was better than I remembered and was well-worked, but lacking good dramam until the Anderson DDT. ***1/2

They included this match on the DVD set because it was the blowoff match and Sacage won, but the GAB match is clearly the better match. Definitely give that a look-see. The other two matches are entertaining, but I would not go out of my way to watch them unless you are Savage or Flair completest like I am.

The First Letter of Martin To The Haters and the Hypocrites:

The First Letter of Martin to the Haters and the Hypocrites:

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from LeBron; and everyone who loves is born of LeBron and knows LeBron. The one who does not love does not know LeBron, for LeBron is Love.

Go Heat, I say to you, for a victory for the Heat is a Victory for Love.

In the Name of Bron Bron, D-Wade, and the Holy Bosh.
Go Heat.

Macho Madness: Icon Vs Icon

Hey yo bromigoes and bromigas,

Shockingly, I am actually executing my vision for writing a second column for the Macho Madness retrospective. From the little feedback I received from some top wrestling newsletters/websites, I need to tighten up my reviewing style. It is no secret I can be a bit bombastic (just a bit?) and will hope to be lucid and concise in the following review.


First I would be remiss, not to mention that my boy, Bron Bron led his team to victory today over the Indiana Pacers and that a victory for the Heat is a victory for Love. For more on the Miami Heat, check out my blog: The First Letter of Martin to the Haters and the Hypocrites, which will be a concurrent series to this one. So I will not belabor their win and shall move right along to the Main Event.

My favorite wrestler of all time is Randy “Macho Man” Savage and has been since I can remember. In April of 1998, when I was just 8 years old I remember begging my parents to buy the Spring Stampede PPV because my hero, Savage would be challenging the Stinger for the World Heavyweight Championship. This may come as a shock to some people, who have met me in the past couple years, but I was a terribly shy child. I am forever indebted to wrestling because it helped me become very comfortable in my own skin and gain a ton of self-confidence. It was a such big deal to me at the time that I remember announcing it to the entire class during one of those stupid “share something important from your life” activities. I don’t really remember the reaction to be honest. However, the Macho Man inspired something in me that I would have never otherwise done. I talked in front of the entire class full of enthusiasm about something I loved and quite frankly I didn’t give a fuck what people thought. While I would refine my public speaking skills, it all began there because of the Macho Man.

My second favorite wrestler has closed the gap in the recent years and that is none other than the ridiculously over the top “Nature Boy” Ric Flair. Whether it is Flair telling a fan that his “Shoes cost more than his house”, wrestling a 60 minute match or just his trademark “Woooooo”, Ric Flair is the personification of pro wrestling and is the single greatest pro wrestler of all time.  I have not gave this much thought, but I can confidently state that the Savage-Flair saga in both WWF and WCW is one of my top 5 favorite feuds of all-time. Today we look at the second half of their feud in WCW (late 1995-1996) with matches from Starrcade, Nitro and Superbrawl.

Arn Anderson, Ric Flair, Brian Pillman 1995 Four Horsemen (Chris Benoit not shown)

Here we will see Savage change his strategy from wrestling the powerful Luger to the wily Flair. Flair matches are hallmarked by Flair’s strategy, the backstory and the consequent questions:

• ·         He will cheat like a muthafucka. He is dubbed the Dirtiest Player In The Game for a reason. Flair has set himself up with a stable of allies called the Four Horsemen with sole purpose of gaining and maintaining Flair’s championship reigns.
• 
  
• ·         He makes them into track meets. They are long matches, where he will make his opponents expend a ton of energy.
• 
  
• ·         Finally he will work over the knee mercilessly to set up his patented Figure 4-Leglock
• 
  
• ·         Now Savage is a ball of fuckin energy, but that makes him prone to making mistakes and walking into Flair’s cheap traps. Flair will have to counter the fact that Savage hates his guts for trying to sleep with his wife and beating up his father. However, these are all a part of Flair’s psychological warfare against Savage to get Savage to be over-aggressive and make those mistakes.
• 
  
• ·          Can Savage keep his emotions in check? Who has the best cardiovascular conditioning? Can Savage counteract the incessant cheating from Flair and his cronies? Who will make the fatal mistake?

Backstory: Starrcade is traditionally considered WCW’s Wrestlemania (Starrcade actually pre-dated Wreatlemania by 2 years). However, with Hogan out filming a movie, WCW went with some interesting booking choices. They set up a best of seven series against New Japan Pro Wrestling. In the main event, Randy Savage would defend the World Championship against the winner of the triple threat between Ric Flair vs Sting vs Lex Luger. We have established why Savage hates Flair and Luger. He is suspicious of Sting because it is Savage and he is a paranoid fucker. Sting is trusting of Luger even though Luger is a prick (we have all been there). Sting hates Flair because he tricked him into being his partner and then proceeded to beat the ever-loving shit out of him with Arn Anderson and the Horseman. Flair and Luger have hated each other since 1988, so yeah, nobody likes anybody.

Sting

 

Bonus Review:

“Nature Boy” Ric Flair vs “The Franchise” Sting vs “Total Package” Lex Luger
Starrcade 1995

Ric Flair is a bleach blonde, millionaire playboy type character. When Flair is on during his promos, it is the most spellbinding experience in the world. Sting is a colorful, exuberant California bleach blonder surfing/bodybuilding. Sting represents all that is good and innocent about wrestling. Seriously, there is not a bad bone in his body. Lex Luger is built like a shithouse and is a shrewd, cowardly, arrogant bully. I have not seen this match in ages and should be tons of fun.

This is not conducted as a modern triple threat match would be. Rather, two men in the ring with tags to the third man, which does offer an interesting dynamic as opposed to the free-for-all nature of the modern triple threat. Luger is without Jimmy Hart and Dusty Rhodes is on commentary. YES! YES! YES! Flair is only an 11-time world champion at this point, later bookkeeping would put him at about 20-time world champion. Flair is pumped tonight and is jaw-jacking with everyone.

Flair and Sting to start and Flair immediately does the Best Hits of Flair showboating. Dusty does a good job describing that these three guys were the foundation of WCW and then immediately puts himself in that class. I love big Dust. Sting gets the advantage quickly and goes for his Scorpion Deathlock. You see, Sting and Luger have already wrestled in the WCW/NJPW series so they will want to get the match over early. Flair immediately powders out and shows his hand that will be willing to drag this out as he hits an early hammerlock.  Dusty is bringing it on commentary pointing out that Flair is a 60-minute man so his strategy will be to make this a track meet. One of Flair’s wicked chops and a bit strutting wakes up the Stinger and now it is time for the over-confident Flair to beg off.  Sting connects with a gorilla press slam and then 10 punches in the corner. Flair takes a walk again and this is Flair’s domain. Sting no-sells a whip into guardrail and Flair’s offense, but a missed dropkick gets Flair back in on offense and plenty of strutting follows. Dusty goes on a HILARIOUS rant about playing possum and the Brain declares “You have never heard of playing possum. Get him out of here.” Back outside and Flair is destroying the Stinger with a variety of  strikes and throws. Flair is trying valiantly to gain a pinfall. Luger like a fuckin moron just stands on the outside. What a dumbass. This is the Flair show and I love it. Off the delayed suplex, Sting decides to no-sell and that ends with Flair taking a press slam and a superplex.  The superplex takes a lot of Sting, but Luger NOW makes the move to break it up. Sting gets all sassy and Luger is all like Dude, chill, I just want to win. Flair high-knees Sting into Luger, which accidentally brings the fresh Luger into the match

Flair-Luger now follows their formula from 1988, which I love. Luger flexes; Flair begs off; crowd goes wild. Luger carries Flair like a sack of potato back into the ring, but as the ref tries to get a clean break in the corner, Flair stuns Luger. However, Luger no-sells Flair offense and hits a gorilla press slam for 4^th press slam for Flair, which leads to our first Flair Flop. After Flair kicks out, we get out first Flair eye-poke, which leads to a chop block to Luger’s knee. NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL!  Luger is under-rated seller when motivated. His vocal selling could use some work. The crowd comes alive with disdain as Flair hits Luger with a steel chair across the knee shades of Starrcade 1988. Nobody, but nobody works a knee or a crowd into a frenzy like Flair. When you can just pick up someone’s foot and the make a crowd go crazy, you know that you are a fuckin good at what you do. Figure-4 is on and Flair does some old-school cheating by grabbing the ropes for additional leverage. Luger powers up and reverses the pressure, which causes pain to Flair now, but to is easy to break the hold at that point. Luger suplexes Flair into the ring, but Luger hesitates on the crowd due to his bad knee. In a crowd-pleasing spot, Luger press slams Flair off the top and Luger no-sells Flair’s offense, which leads Flair to the desperate move of tagging in Sting.

“Put down the popcorn, Grandma” – The Brain as we are about to see the most interesting pairing of the three. Sting vs Lex Luger, the best friends go at in the squared circle. Dusty decrees that respect has just left town, but the Brain declares that Sting is a softie drawing their ire of his colleagues. Collar and elbow tie-up leads to a clean break in the corner by both men. Now it is time for the test of strength but Luger being the prick he is kicks Sting in the gut. This is so weird. This is such a Luger dynamic. It is like he does a mid-match turn. He wrestled babyface against Flair, but is now calling for a timeout like a cowardly heel. Good power match between the two with great energy from the Stinger. Luger is still selling the knee, good for him and now stands on his friend’s throat and the announcers are incredulous. Sting gets a pinfall attempt off a flying cross-body, but gets caught with knees to gut off a Vaderbomb attempt by Sting. Sting is looking for the Scoprion Deathlock as Luger catches him with a blatant low-blow. Tony wonders how this will affect this friendship and Dusty thinks that friendship is garbage. This portion of the match is too discontinuous. No real flow, just disconnected power move spots. The only real story is Luger’s heelish antics. As Luger gets Sting in the rack, the ref is bumped giving Flair a chance to clip Luger’s knee and toss them both over the top. The count is on and just as Sting was about to make it back in Luger holds Sting back. Oooooooooooooooo drama!

Will I ever review a match with a clean finish? Flair by virtue of a countout will be facing the Macho Man later tonight for the World Title. Discontinuous match, which was really three separate matches. The Flair portions rocked, Luger-Sting was weird. I give it ***.

WCW World Heavyweight Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs “Nature Boy” Ric Flair
Starrcade 1995

The Brain goes a brilliant rant to put over his man, The Man, Ric Flair and punctuates with a Flair-esque WOOOOO!!!! Savage is rockin the doo-rag rather than the Technicolor hat and takes the mic just to say OOOOOHHHH YYEAAAAHHHHH! Michael Buffer does the intro’s in a bid by WCW to gain credibility. Savage’s arm is taped up and Flair is now being managed by the “Snake in the Grass” as Dusty affectionately calls Jimmy Hart.

Lock up to start and Savage goes for a backslide quickly. This should be quick because both men have already wrestled. Savage peppers Flair by jabs. Mr. Wonderful in a neck brace is out to watch because the Horseman piledrove on the cement in an angle that went nowhere.  Flair attempts the Figure-4 but Savage kicks him off. A Flair Flip leads to Savage attempting a double axe-handle to the floor. Flair takes over on the floor, which is his domain. He sends Savage into the post bad arm first showing his excellent psychology.  Even Jimmy Hart gets his kicks in and the commentators are confused why Hart is managing Flair.

Back in the ring, Flair uses the ropes to assist his hammerlock, Flair is so smooth and so good. Savage’s selling builds sympathy so effectively. This is such good match chemistry that always leads to the viewer rooting for Flair to get his comeuppance. Apparently, Tenzan, Savage’s opponent earlier in the night, already worked on the arm.  Flair halts a bit of Savage momentum with a short-lived sleeper. Savage almost gets a pinfall off a wicked right hook. Savage goes up top for the double axe-handle, but gets caught. Hart throws the mega-phone to Flair, but Savage snags it and busts Flair open. This leads to a Savage big elbow. HORSEMEN TIME!!!

Savage is able to throw Pillman into Benoit, but Double A whacks Savage with brass knucks. Anderson drapes Flair over Savage as Flair wins the title for the 12^th time breaking his own record. Pillman is doing his brilliant Loose Canon gimmick. Good match, but too short to be a true classic. However, Savage vs Flair is like ice cream it is always damn good. ***

Now for the return match

WCW World Heavyweight Champion “Nature Boy” Ric Flair vs Randy “Macho Man” Savage

January 22, 1996 Monday Nitro

WAHOO!!! Finally a match off the Macho Madness WWE DVD. Hooray! For crystal-clear audiovisual quality. This is from the beginning of the Monday Night War as Bischoff is trying to prove to the fans that Nitro is the superior show by giving them superior matches and must-see TV. What is more must-see than World Heavyweight Title Match between two of the biggest icons EVAH~! Well you will see.

Savage begins with the mind-games by bringing about a bunch of beautiful women and announces that he is steaming hot. Hogan, ever the hog of lime-light, does some brown-nosing before Hogan challenges for the title that Savage has not even won. Hogan, by the way, had a shot at the belt two weeks ago. Give me a break, Hogan. Woman, a former valet of Flair, is out with Savage.. OOOOOOOOOO DRAMA!!!! Yes they decided to name a character, Woman I may be a proud fan, but I still recognize how fuckin stupid wrestling can be.

Bischoff announces the return of Miss Elizabeth (Savage’s ex-wife and long-time valet) tomorrow night as Savage’s valet. Flair is  out with Jimmy Hart. I am going with Savage’s entourage, BABY! Flair agrees with me and immediately goes out to flirt with Woman.  Flair ends up like I do on most weekend nights with a sore, red left cheek. Savage jumps him, but Flair escapes to the ring. Savage does not give Flair a clean break in the corner because he is a badass. Flair takes over with a reverse elbow out of the corner and then peppers him with chops and punches. Hart gets some shots in on Savage out on the floor. Savage takes a great bump by doing a front-flip over the guard-rail. Savage escapes with a back-body drop only to take the Pillman bump onto the guardrail off a failed attempt at a double axe-handle. Back from commercial, Savage has recovered and gives Flair ten punches in the corner leading to a whip into a corner and a Flair Flip. We get a Flair Flop out of sheer exhaustion and Savage goes for one of his favorite spots the backslide. Flair hits the shinbreaker leading to uS GOING TO SCHOOL!  The Dirtiest Payer In The Game gets caught using the ropes for additional leverage on the Figure-4, which leads to the hold being broken. Flair and the ref get into a shoving match in a spot that always pops the crowd.

Savage crawls towards Flair because he is INSANE! Flair hits a running knee-drop, but he goes to the top leading to Savage press slamming off the top. Savage connects with a series of double-axe-handles. Savage is distracted by Hart as Double A comes down to interfere on Savage’s behalf., Anderson mistakenly hammers Flair with knucks. Hogan is out to detain Anderson and Savage hits the big elbow. SAVAGE WINS HIS SECOND WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!

What can be bigger than a title match on live, free TV, why a title change of course. That is how Nitro was winning the ratings war with must-see TV by having big, marquee matches on free TV. Better match than Starrcade because they were more well-rested and the match had way more spark to it for it.   ***1/2

Because Flair lost the title, he was due a champion’s return match, which was set-up at the next PPV in February of 1996 at Superbrawl in a Steel Cage. This time Savage would have the Lovely Elizabeth in his corner and Flair having reunited with Woman after she turned on Savage probably by hitting him in the eye with her high-heel shoe.

WCW World Heavyweight Champion “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs “Nature Boy” Ric Flair in a Steel Cage Match

Superbrawl VI


WAHOO!!! Found a high-quality version of this on youtube instead of my shitty downloaded version. Flair is looking awfully confident as a challenger in his fabulous purple, sequined robe. This may be my favorite robe of Flair ever. Woman is of course in matching purple. Tony reasons that his confidence stems from the fact that the Steel Cage is Flair’s domain. Savage is rocking Michigan colors going Maize and Blue because he is FUCKIN MACHO~! Elizabeth is looking foxy in a matching blue dress with a high-slit up the left leg. (RIP)

 “Being from Beverly Hills, I never took a woman to the chicken coop and I hired someone to fight for me” –Bobby The Brain retorting to Dusty about his high school days.

Flair does some stalling by offering Elizabeth the chance to “Kiss a real man” on the mic. Savage answers for Liz with “Ohhhhhhh Noooooo”, good exchange. Tony starts creepily fantasizing about the women of WCW leave it for the shower, Tony. Finally Savage lets Flair in the cage and it is a fight in the corner with jabs and chops.  Early on, Flair already hits his knee out of the corner and Flair sends Savage in the corner. Flair decks the ref. Why? Because he is RIC MUTHAFUCKIN FLAIR!!!!

Savage goes for his backslide, but no ref. Savage with a back-body drop and a couple clotheslines to take control of this match leading to some excellent verbal selling by the master, Ric Flair.  Savage tries to send Flair into the cage, but Flair desperately pushes Savage into the cage. This takes he steam out of the Savage Crazy Train. Savage sells fatigue better than anyone else. Savage has a burst of energy and Flair clobbers him with a reverse elbow. Flair rams the back of Savage’s head into cage in a show of brutality. Savage catches Flair off the top with a press slam, what a shocker. Savage slaps the Figure 4 on Flair to embarrass him as much as to hurt him.  Great evidence of the cerebral strategy that Savage employs. Flair gets to the rope, but it is a cage match, so it doesn’t fuckin matter., boo hoo, Flair. Savage lets go only pummel Flair with strikes as he goes for the first fall of the match.

HOLY SHIT! Savage goes to the top of the cage only to get a punch into the gut as he jumped off the 10-foot high cage for a double axe-handle. A vertical suplex gets Flair two as Brain smugly mocks Savage and thinks it is academic that Flair will his 13^th world title. Flair sends Savage head first into the cage and Savage looks well-done. Dusty attempts to say Modus Operandi, but he is from West Texas, use your imagination to figure out how well that turned out.

Flair slaps on the Figure 4 and now Savage gets the ropes, but the ref decides he will break the hold. Has there ever been a case of worse biased officiating? BE FAIR TO FLAIR!!! Woman is shrieking at ringside to encourage Flair. This leads Brain to say “I have never let a woman yell at me” I found that humorous. Flair tries another Figure 4, but Savage reveres with an inside cradle, but Flair has the presence of mind to kick out. Savage finally sends Flair into cage to firmaly take command.

Now Savage rakes Flair’s face into the cage to the delight of the blood-thirsty fans.  I don’t know what is more annoying. Woman shrieking or Tony saying ewwy as Savage is raking Flair’s face. Flair is busted open and is taking some serious punishment from the cage. Flair reverses with an atomic drop, but cant  take advantage as he is exhausted as does a Flair Flop. As Flair attempts to escape over the cage, Savage pulls down Flair’s draw exposing his bare ass drawing laughs from the crowd and the Brain to say, “This maybe Tamps, but it is a Moon over Miami, right now” O Brain! As Flair breaks free, he “accidentally” crotches himself on the top rope with his ass hanging out. Brain announces “We still have a lot more Flair to see”. I have actually seen that exact spot done in 2005 on a WWE house show and bare Flair ass is not a pretty sight, but always gets a reaction.



Flair stalks the Macho Man with a crazed look as crimson blood soaks his hair and drips down his face. Flair is so pissed that he does what all pissed people do, choke his enemy. Flair looking to leave again, leads to some more Flair ribald humor with his ass hanging out. Both men are exhausted and collapse from the incredible pace they have cut. Savage sends Flair back into the cage, head-first and works over that open-wound. WCW, being a bunch of chumps, goes for the WIDE-ANGLE LENS OF DISCOMFORT because of the amount of blood on Flair’s face. Woman looks to throw a unknown white powder into Macho Man’s eyes. If that shit was cocaine, she better watch out that shit is like spinach for the Macho Man.

O FUCK NO! Elizabeth has handed her high-heeled shoe to Flair and he spikes him in the face for his 13^th World Title. This was truly a shocking turn of events because this was before all the late 90’s non-sensical turns just for the sake of having a turn for shock value. Elizabeth was a quiet, almost meek woman that did not have a bad bone in her body. Nobody, but nobody expected a heel turn. The motivation behind this was apparently Elizabeth had divorced Elizabeth and she was taking Savage’s fortune to be with a REAL MAN, Ric Flair. Hogan comes out to “tend” to Savage and gets a nice “Hogan Sucks!” chant. Ladies and gentlemen, you're number one babyface! He was controversial before Cena made controversial, "cool".

To the victor goes the spoils: Woman, Ric Flair, Miss Elizabeth

The match was one of the best of their series with each other. It was a well-structured cage match that plays to both men’s strengths and had a little color (both blood and comedy). With these two well-conditioned performers, you know they will cut a tremendous pace. The story was clear Flair was going to attack with precision on the knee and cheat if he had to. Savage wanted to overwhelm Flair with high-risk moves when that backfired he was fighting on guts and using the cage as his ally. Overall, I am giving it ****. Killer match, DIG IT!



These two would feud for the rest of the summer with no big blow-off because the entire company was basically re-set with the nWo storyling beginning.

I have not decided on tomorrow’s offering, but it will assuredly be MACHO~!

    

Macho Madness: Insatiable Incredible Intensity

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#4 Motley Crue - Too Fast For Love: Birth of Glam Metal

ROCKTOBERFEST: A Countdown of the 31 Most Bitchin Glam Metal Albums

#4 Motley Crue - Too Fast For Love (Released 1981) Platinum #77 Billboard 200

Ode to Sticky Fingers. You can actually like Vince Neil's Crotch on Facebook. I have. Have you?

Vince Neil (Egg-Burrito Crotch) - Vocals

Mick Mars (P.I.M.P.) - Guitars

Nikki Sixx (What's a shower) - Bass

Tommy Lee (Fat Chick Thrilla)

The year was 1981 and a ragtag bunch of 3 Sunset Strip miscreants and their older, hired gun axe-slinger recorded the album that changed the world of music. Not many bands can say they created a whole genre of music, but Motley Crue can claim to hold that distinction. With the release of Too Fast For Love, Motley Crue took glam rock, punk rock and heavy metal and mixed it into the complex, filthy genre of glam metal. But first for this all to be realized someone had to die. That person was a guy named Frankie. Born from this man’s death was Nikki Sixx, the true persona of Frankie. You just got to love glam and their flair for the dramatic. So lets begin with the Ballad of Nikki’s alter ego and his death. On with the show…

The riffs are so heavy, distorted and raw. The bass is fuzzy. The drums are loud and driving. The vocals alternate between sneering and screaming. The mix is unpolished. There is nothing pretty about this album and that is the point that the pop metal albums missed. Yet there is something irresistible of the Dirt shoveled by this band. It is the earnestness of living on the streets. The album is a true snapshot of 1980-81 Hollywood. On all the other albums, Motley Crue plays characters and because of who I am I see the beauty and magic in that artificial construct.  If something had to be real in order to offer the world value, economists, fiction authors and anything involving theoretical models would be out of jobs. But for this one album, the Crue are who they are. A struggling, crude band that don’t really know how to play their instruments, but God fuckin Damn all the haters because they are making it and they are dragging everyone kicking and screaming to the streets. That is what I care about. Show me some damn heart and I will love you. Fuck the chops where is the heart.

Or as the members of Crue would say where are the HUGE TITS!!! What Does everybody want? HEAD! HEAD! HEAD! What else? CRUE! CRUE! CRUE! CRUE!

Shut up, Martin! The Boys in the Crue dont care about waxin philosophic! Show Your Tits!

I speak a lot of urgency when writing these reviews and that is what so many “rock” bands miss from today’s music. Their music isn’t urgent. The band members aren’t conveying the idea that you need to listen to this NOW because if you don’t you are missing something cool. On the Crue album, you have no idea what will happen next. Is Vince going to start just showing off his screamin ability like in “Come On and Dance”.

Seriously listen to Vince go during the last minute or so. Jesus, why couldn’t I get to see that live. 

What riff will Mick Mars play next (Take Me To The Top) or in his whirlwind solo in Piece of Action? What interesting subject will Nikki Sixx pen next (Merry Go-Round)? How will Tommy Lee take over songs (Piece of Action)? When is the last time you listened to an album and were taken on a roller coaster ride? That is what Too Fast For Love offers a wild, unbridled and dynamic look at life on the sordid streets of Hollywood. I like formulae as much as the next human because I like consistency and safety. This is an album of individualism that was a man’s vision, who brought along three other men to create an album about the human condition. This album represents a triumph for individualism against the forces of stagnation. Now Take Me To The Top, Mick…

The first song off the album was penned specifically for Vince Neil’s unique delivery. Besides singing for Crue, Neil was destined to fuck, drink and sing Sweet and Cheap Trick covers. Sixx, a huge fan of these bands, crafted Livewire for this preening, reedy voice. Livewire pre-dates Thrash metal by a good two years, but it would stand to be the fastest, heaviest, thrashiest song LA would produce until Metallica and Slayerrrrr would arrive on the scene. This Motorhead meets Cheap Trick track is infectious. It begins with that speed metal riff that smokes and sounds exactly like the song title, a Livewire. When Vince screams “SHOUT!” we are off the races with a killer double-bass attack. Vince screams like his life is dependent on it. The song introduces the idea that is consistent through every Crue song, Nikki writes the song so that everyone knows exactly what the song is called so Livewire is the most common lyric. The breakdown (there is no solo as this was supposedly a punk song) is awesome lyrically as Neil cocky as ever proclaims “You better lock your door because I am on the PROWL tonight.” Before we hit the big finish complete with plenty of cow-bell and high-wattage riffage. 

There is only one video from this album and it is for Livewire and it illustrates every trick from the Crue playbook at the time. Right off the bat, there is a skull with a pentagram on it. Immediately, there is an edge to it. You are NOT supposed to watch it. Then that speed metal riff hits. With the exception of Motorhead, just the idea of that riff was so completely foreign to the human mind. It is so loud and aggressive. Then all the theatrics. Mick drooling blood. Nikki setting his pants on fire. Vince bradnshing a flaming sword. Tommy being chained to a chair in S&M fashion. The black and red leather, the chains, the ghoulish make-up, the candles, skulls, the pentagrams on the bass drums. All these come together to create the total Crue package. Glam metal never was an audio genre. A glam metal can be excellent by itself, but glam metal is truly an audio-visual genre. It is like Shakespeare. You can read Shakespeare and enjoy it and capture value from it. But to truly appreciate it you must see it unfold before your eyes and it is exactly the same way with glam metal. Hey Shakespeare was crafted for the masses too with its tawdry jokes and so when the Crue is singing about women’s legs in the air they are just continuing the tradition. Sorry girls these four men are Too Fast For Love (very Cheap Trick)…    

The next song, I am picking and this is like picking between my children is Public Enemy No. 1. The riff is melodic as it is raw. This is a perfect example of a British glam rock song taken distorted and injected with sleaze and made into a glam metal song. There is of course the requisite cowbell. I love a song when the lead riff is the same melody as the vocal melody. I am such a sucker for that. I also love the lyric, “Coming home as fast as the speed of sound”. I love how the pre-chorus crescendos cogently into the chorus of “Public Enemy No. 1”. The solo features Mars’ distinctive dirty playing. There is no finger-tapping, no technical flare. Mars actually a student of Hendrix, Beck and many blues-rock guitarists brought a very different style to Southern California then the Van Halen, Rhoads, and speed metal guitarists had. This combined with Sixx’s love for glam led to this unique sound.

Let’s slow it down with what I think is Crue’s most beautiful song, Starry Eyes. I don’t what it is early glam, but they had a knack for making hypnotic choruses.  The gong just goes off and I am in a trance. Vince’s voice just drips with emotion and vulnerability. The Crue are often the cocky braggarts that cannot be beaten, but when Nikki shows that vulnerability, it can truly be beautiful. The rhythm section just keeps that pounding in time. The riff is a buzzsaw, but is hypnotic itself just going up and down. While, Vince repeats Starry Eyes over and over again, but even in itself simplicity there is elegance because of his delivery. 

Finally we end this lengthy review with the song that single-handedly crafted the genre of sleaze rock. The lyric “use you up and throw you away” will forever be the sleaziest lyric of all-time. The riff just builds and builds. Vince begins in a preening, seductive whispering. Then he goes into his falsetto, while the tension builds in the music. Then Tommy just lets it all out and music just lets out in the climax while Vince screams “Get a piece of your action! Uh huh!” I love how he lets out on “uh huh”. The solo on this one is absolute roller-coaster that ends in a really cool climax that I do not want to ruin so just go listen to the song. This one is definitely in my top 5 of all-time favorite Motley Crue songs. 

After the verbal blowjob, I just gave Crue what they fuck could top this album. Let me say that this is definitely one of my favorite albums of all-time in any genre. I firmly think if you ever want to pass real judgment on  glam metal, you have to listen to this album once.  LONG LIVE THE CRUE! CRUE! CRUE! CRUE! CRUE!

  

To play us out is a song about a man that got too much, too soon and wound up at the Merry Go-Round.