URGENT!

Hey yo my fellow Children of the Beast,

So Chief Explorer Rick “Have Fun” Snyder’s twitter handle is @onetoughnerd. I am glad even General Studies majors nature are reveling in nerd culture. Governor Snyder is clearly just living up to what he exhorted all Michigan graduates to do: “be proud of your size”. (True to form this one tough nerd, had no idea why everyone in the audience was snickering when he said that direct quote not once but twice.)

Caution: If it is a fake account it is bereft of any humor and seems to serve as dissemination aid about Snyder’s achievements and whereabouts.  

If I remember one other thing from that ennui-inducing speech is that Rick Snyder strove to have fuckin fun in every venture he undertook. Whether it was being a bidnessman, a hubby, a daddy, an explorer of American culture or the Governor of Michigan he was going to have some GODDAMN fun along the way. Taking a page of the good governor’s book, I had me some fun these past days while grading and studying for exams by listening to a ton of music. 

What I love about albums from the 70’s and 80’s is that the albums are just 35-45 minutes. Every single minute of the album matters and is a consequential part of the album’s success. The one word I would use to describe these albums is “Urgent”. I think that is what music is missing nowadays with these hour long albums chocked with filler. Of course there are some exceptions, but everything sounds diluted because of the saturation. When you listen to bands from the early era whether it was punk or metal, there was a urgency to their music that hooked the listener with the feeling “this music needed to be heard now”. 

So here are some short reviews of some of the best albums I listened to over the past week.

70’s Hard Rock/Power Pop/Punkish

Heaven Tonight – Cheap Trick: Dark humor, fast rock n roll riffs with huge melodic choruses and harmonized back-up vocals. They play fast and loose like a punk band, but their sense of melody never lets the slip into a cacophony. Zander is too pretty in looks and sound to be a herald of anarchy. He sounds great singing catchy, hooky songs that are deeper than they appear. Their dark/strange humor explored on mega-hit, Surrender, Auf Wiedershen, and Stiff Competition. “California Man” is a kick-ass cover that is a great party song.  The eerie moody piece “Heaven Tonight” displays Cheap Trick’s darkest sides. The guitar work from Nielsen is chock full of riffs anchored by a rhythm section that sounds urgent. They need to get this album out and feels hungry. Cheap Trick would finally breakthrough in February 1979 with the live album, At Budokan like so many contemporaneous bands.

Thrash/Speed Metal

Kill ‘Em All – Metallica. I had always avoided Metallica’s first release because I don’t care for music with poor production values. However, I have mellowed on this stance. I had always loved the song, “Seek And Destroy”, with a great hook in that bridging riff. I first listened to the whole album a couple months ago and liked it. I added “Four Horsemen” and “No Remorse” to the rotation. It took this past spin for me to really realize how much of a tour de force this album is. I don’t how much of this is my own mellowing, but the album is well-produced and affords them the raw sound they were aspiring to. Unlike Megadeth’s dreadfully produced “Killing is My Business…And Business Is Good”, where only the title track is salvageable. “Whiplash” is incredibly cheesy without a hint of irony, but incredibly endearing because the lyrics describes exactly what I do when I hear the song “You’re thrashing all around. Acting like a maniac” (short Bass interlude) “WHIPLASH” COMMENCE HEAD-BANGING!

Beyond Magnetic –Metallica.  From Metallica’s first offering to their latest, this is an EP of the songs that didn’t make the cut from the enjoyable Death Magnetic.  A lot of fans are viewing this as a make-good for the atrocity known as Loutallica (Lou Reed & Metallica’s collaboration album, Lulu, good joke from my brother “Lulu sells…But Who’s Buying?”). The official reasoning is this is conjunction with Metallica’s star-studded 30^th Birthday celebration(Four days of kick-ass metal!). Anyways, there is a reason these songs didn’t make the album. They didn’t fit the mold of the renewed thrash effort that Death Magnetic represented and fit their 90’s catalog better. They are decent songs. I will give them one more shot, but I am not expecting much. I am a sucker for songs with “Train” in the title because it almost guarantees a sweet, chugging rhythm section. “Hate Train” was indeed my favorite of the four. Why does Lars’ drum sound on every album besides Ride The Lightning  and the Black Album absolutely suck? Yeah I love Master a lot, but the one thing that bothered me was Lars’ goddamn hollow drum sound. 

Thirteen – Megadeth. Ellefson is back and this album kicks ass. Merging the speed rhythm beds from Endgame and Rust in Peace with the melodic nature of Countdown to Extinction, this album boasts Mega-Dave’s most complete offering of rifftastic heavy metal since Countdown.  Endgame was the better thrash album and Youthansia was the better melodic album. This one is a more complete take on Megadeth’s two styles while being so totally Dave. The first single, “Public Enemy No. 1” features a galloping NWOBHM riff paired with Dave’s signature sneer and had me salivating for the rest of the album. “Whose Life is This Anyway?” and “Never Dead” are the thrashy songs of collection with double-bass attacks and heavy riffs.  “Black Swan” comes in as a speeding, yet melodically dark song about a shade haunting Mustaine.  “Sudden Death” is a great slab of metal that best highlight the killer solos this album offer. If you love riff-heavy music with bitchin’ flashy, speedy solos then pick up this burner. 

70’s Punk

Nevermind the Bollocks…It’s The Sex Pistols I first listened to this album at the beginning of college and threw in the discard heap due to the snarky, nihilist message, Rotten’s vocals, and its tinniest sound. However, after loving the Crue’s cover of the punk anthem “Anarchy in the UK” and most recently Vince Neil covering my favorite Pistols’ song “No Feelings”, an anthem for extreme self-lovers like myself. I went back and heard a totally different album. After listening to the Dolls, Stooges and Bowie, you can hear how talented Jones is. Matlock and him totally hold this Ode to Chaos with great glam-noise riffs. I derive more pleasure from Rotten’s urgent delivery that is filled with the sneer of sleaze rock. I still think “Anarchy in the UK” sounds tinny and could have used the wall of guitar sound that “Holiday in the Sun” and “No Feelings” benefit from.  The glammy gang-shouts of “No Future”, “Problem” and “So pretty” lend the album a catchy feeling that created a cult following.

Sleaze Metal/Rock

Tattooed-Beat Messiah –Zodiac Mindwarp & the Love Reaction. My new favorite album, it is like someone said let’s make an album where every song features everything Martin Fuckin Cuddy loves about hard rock and heavy metal. Absurdly sexual lyrics “Your lipstick flickers on my lightning rod” Check. Wonderfully sleazy sneer soaked in motor oil with a smart-ass strut. Check. Pseudo-Messianic Complex. Check. All choruses being mult-tracked lending to a huge sound. Check. Gang-shouts. Check. Fast, noisy, glammy riffs. Check. Bitchin, flashy solos. Check. Drums with gigantic reverb. Check. Big, clear bass to fill in. Check. Zodiac Mindwarp is right up there with Faster Pussycat and Vain as the best sleaze band of all time. “Prime Mover” is KISS on steroids. “Planet Girl” is Marc Boaln & T-Rex if they were a glam metal band. “Tattoo-Beat Messiah” is a sleazy, gutter anthem. “Backseat Education” fucking kicks so much ass, I don’t want to review it just go listen!

I know I still owe the top nine most BITCHIN glam metal albums of all time. I pinky swear I will finish them over break.

Until then “Horizontal Hold//Get YOUR LEGS IN THE AIR!!!”