#28 Ratt - Dancing Undercover: It Is What It Is

ROCKTOBERFEST: A Most Excellent Countdown of the 31 Most Bitchin Glam Metal Albums

#28 Ratt – Dancing Undercover (Released 1986) Platinum #26 Billboard Albums Chart

Stephen Pearcy (Really Nice Eyebrows) – Vocals

Warren DeMartini (Guitar Hero) – Lead & Rhythm Guitar

Robbin Crosby (R.I.P. Big Guy) – Rhythm & Lead Guitar

Juan Croucier (Nikki hates your hair) - Bass

Bobby Blotzer (Fake Blonde) – Drums

It is What It Is: A Survey of Glam Metal Cliches

Ratt’s third offering, Dancing Undercover, did not deviate from the formula of staccato riffing and the guitar heroics of DeMartini and Crosby. (though leaning more heavily on the shred style of DeMartini than on previous releases) This guitar tandem is one of the most over-looked in hard rock and heavy metal (no doubt because the general scorn directed towards glam metal) as the two harmonized brilliantly, traded solos together and wrote bitchin riffs. Ratt is the most metallic of all the glam bands (Crue and W.A.S.P. were heavier at times) because their songs draw heavily from the big arena anthems of Judas Priest (think Living After Midnight, Breaking the Law and You’ve Got Another Thing Coming). From a musical standpoint, Ratt easily could have developed those songs, but the one problem was for better or worse they had Stephen Pearcy (who is limited vocally to put it nicely) and the Almighty Priest has Rob Halford (the Metal God, who has the greatest range in metal vocals in the history of metal). Don’t get me wrong I love Pearcy and Ratt wouldn’t be Ratt without him. His distinctive, raspy delivery made him stand out in a crowd of preening, sneering pretty boys. Of course the other thing hamstringing Ratt were the dreadful, cliché-ridden lyrics.

After two brilliant albums, it became quite clear that Ratt had blown their wad in terms of lyrical quality and was left scraping the bottom of the heap. Now I am pretty lenient when it comes to lyrics. I am not looking for anything too earth-shattering. I love a good sleazy lyric (“Use you up and throw you away”) or a witty, but not terribly subtle stringing of lyrics (“She’s got the BIG guns! She’s got my lovin reachin for the sky”) (lulz, that still gets me.) So ya see I aint no prude and I certainly aint no pretentious alternative rock fan. However Ratt and other glam metal bands have made me hang my head in shame as they uttered these cliché-ridden turds:

  “Stupid pans and fans, its only ten to one.” – Dance, Ratt I always thought it was “Stripper pants and fans” and then I looked up the lyrics and realized it went from stupid to bizarre.

 

 “I'm lookin' for you//You're lookin' for me//It's nothing new//You're only looking for love//I know it's true//You know it's me//I know it's you//You're only looking for love//(You're only looking for love)” –Looking For Love, Ratt. It is a good thing these guys were in a rock band because they spit worse game than this guy:

The ENTIRETY of You Should Know By Now by you guessed it, Ratt. Here’s the beginning “My blood is thicker than water. I am living out a lie. I will have my friends forever. We will walk the sands of time. You should know by now (3x).”  I think this is how the conversation about this song went:

DeMartini: Alright, guys I laid down the solo. Is Stephen ready to do the vocal track?

Croucier: Uhhhhh dude, Nikki fuckin made fun of my hair again. Should I straighten it?

Crosby: He is just messing you with bro, this fuckin riff rules all. We should do a big fuckin chorus.

Blotzer: Do I look better as a blond or brunette? Wait I am a dude, what’s the male form of brunette.

DeMartini: Everybody focus. Did anybody write lyrics to this song yet?

Crosby: So I got really fuckin high with Nikki last night and this is pretty fuckin funny…

DeMartini: O fuck

Croucier: See I knew Nikki did not like me, Robbin why didn’t you invite me

Crosby: Quit yer bitchin, Juan. There were only 8 babes last night and you know a 8:2 ratio is kinda weak. Anyways one of these girls…

DeMartini: Has Stephen seen these lyrics yet?

Crosby: O he fuckin loved them so guess what…

DeMartini: Damnit. What is this song about?

Crosby: So Nikki had heard those pussies in Def Lep were going to do a whole song harmonized. So Nikki thought it would be a cool idea if Crue did a whole song where Vince just sings a refrain and we do a whole song where Stephen says nothing but these things called “cliches”.

DeMartini: Where are the lyrics?

Crosby: Yeah, so this stripper chick that I am trying to telling you about, took an English class and shit, knew what clichés are. She wrote the song in 5 minutes.

DeMartini: This fuckin blows.

Crosby: Yeah she did. It is pretty funny so her….

DeMartini: “I’ve got something to say.” “Don’t you know it’s nothing new” What is this shit?

Pearcy: Warren, did you see the lyrics? I got an addition what if we do a gang shout of “Hey!” in the middle of the song.

Croucier: Brilliant.

Pearcy: Writing Credit! Who wrote the song anyways?

Crosby: Nikki! That’s what I have been trying to say.

DeMartini: Nikki could have NOT written this shit.

Crosby: That’s what I am trying to tell you the stripper’s name was Nikki. So I banged Nikki. Get it?

DeMartini: That’s actually pretty funny.

Blotzer: How about RED hair?

Ratt: NO, Bobby!!!!

Getting off Ratt’s case here are a couple more:

“You got too many bees in your honey” Unskinny Bop, Poison. Bret, is such a pussy. Fuckin Tommy would be all up in that business like a honey badger because Tommy and the honey badger don’t give a fuck!

“Change//Now it's time for change//Nothing stays the same” – Time For Change, Motley Crue Except the fact that Tim Allen has a sitcom in 2011 about being a manly man. Really, are you serious, bro? Who is exactly clamoring for a Tim Allen sitcom.

“Can't break the chains//Can't solve the pain//Can't rhyme problem with reason//Not taking sides//
Just asking why//Does the pain eat the children//Who wrote the bible//Who set the laws//Are we left to history's flaws//And if you're out there//Then let me hear (hey)//And take a look in the mirror//Fight fight for your rights//Fight fight for your rights” – Fight For Your Rights, Motley Crue. TO PARRRRRTTTTTYYYYYYY! O sorry I forgot this is the “serious” song.

“You are a liar, liar with your pants on fire.” –Burning Brigdes, Slaughter. Remember parents you can bring your kids to work that does NOT mean you have to implement their suggestions.

“Feelin bad, I’m feelin sad. Lets lend a helping hand.” –Save The Weak, Britny Fox. You know what just watch the fuckin video, the less said about this one the better.

 

So Dancing Undercover for all its lyrical flaws is a fuckin killer metal album and musically still blows out most of the glam metal albums after all it is number 28 on this list. Ratt was exploring some new ground on this album (eventually and unfortunately they would settle on adding blues to their metal mix). This is most evident on the single, Body Talk, featured in the movie Golden Child. This is song is very, very close to thrash and the idea of a thrash album by Ratt would have buttered my corn cob. It definitely illustrates why Ratt was one of the toughest bands in glam metal. I love the thumbnail on this one. It is a quintessential glam metal picture, the big, bad blonde guitarist in the stretch just smoking on his axe. The images are what make metal is so friggin cool.

The lead single was a song called Dance, but don’t worry this was no Material Girl (I do love me some Madonna, though). This was good ‘ol fashioned hard rock number with a rhythm section made for movin and shakin (between the sheets, duh). The music video is babes-galore. If only I lived in 1985 on the Sunset Strip, if only… 

The third single off the album was Slip of the Lip, a very conventional Ratt song, that features Pearcy raspily singing about a young girl, who is going to be made a woman tonight, hopefully for her sake not by the entire band. It is features a normal Ratt ‘n’Roll attack of a thick lead riff with a thumping rhythm section. For anybody who ever goes on the Newlyweds or a game show like that with me, Robbin Crsoby has my favorite head of hair ever! EVAH~! Uhhhh, so yeah the chick in that video is pretty hot. 

My favorite song off the album is the aforementioned, Looking For Love, the opening riff from Crosby and Pearcy whispering “Sexy.” is SLEAZE! Those opening seven seconds epitomize the entire genre. The circular riff is played under the rest of the song while DeMartini plays over the top with elongated lead fills and has a shredding outro. The solo is a short, melodic burst of energy that is a perfect example of Crosby’s playing and why I like him so much (In addition to the hair, of course). The lyrics might suck, but damnit if this is not a killer party tune.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wr4Lq90Drc

My pick for solo of the album is the last song off the album, Enough is Enough (not a Donna Summers cover, sorry to disappoint all) and it is the one that stretches from the 1:53 mark to 2:26.When I first heard this, I thought to myself “O no, Ratt is going to try to do a power ballad.” Then the rest of the song kicked into the usual brand of grooving glam metal. Ratt is a unique example of a glam metal that never a hit power ballad and never even attempted one until their fourth album (#notpretty). Yet, Ratt was one of the biggest glam metal bands with all three of their first albums going platinum and huge stadium tours, proving you don’t need a power ballad to be cool, kids.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyKm-1LmkwQ&feature=related 

I love Ratt’s first two albums so much that sometimes I forget how much I overlook this one. The best part of doing this blog is making me sit down and listen to these songs I have not listen to in a long time. While my opinion has not changed in terms of the pecking order of Ratt albums, this one is a damn fine one. I will admit there is a Ratt formula and many of the songs sound similar. Regardless, I could listen to DeMartini shred and Crosby groove all fuckin day. RATT ‘N’ ROLL 4 LIFE!!!